Broken Dreams
by Drake Clawfang
Summary: Three years ago, Kouga killed Inuyasha and forced Kagome to become his mate. Spending her nights in the arms of a ’loving’ wolf has made Kagome’s life a nightmare. Can anyone bring the light back and give her an end to the darkness? Angst, InuKag. OOC
1. Shattered Memories

Broken Dreams

**A long last I decided to get off my ass and clean this story up. Expect frequent minor updates. No content changes, but a heavy overhaul to spelling and grammar will be done.**

**And also, gimme a WOOT! On FF alone I now have 1000 reviews, and of the three sites hosting this story, it has a combined total over 150,000 hits! WOOOOOOOOT!**

**Yes, I am aware of how immature the above sounds, but I frankly don't care because I am amazed at how many people love a story that when I first posted, expected would get flamed and never get off the ground. To date I've only received a small handful of flames at all, and only one I can recall for this story.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read this, and even if this was the only story of mine you ever read, know the time you took to do so is greatly appreciated.**

Chapter 1

Shattered Memories

"Get your filthy hands off of Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled. Kagome sighed. Why did he get like this every time Kouga came around? It wasn't like she was going to go with him. Although it did make her feel kind of wanted, knowing that Inuyasha got jealous of her giving Kouga attention.

"And what if I don't dog-shit, you gonna swing that rusty sword of yours and do something about it? Besides, I have to come here and make sure you're taking care of my woman," Kouga growled.

"For crying out loud, she ain't your fucking woman!" Inuyasha roared, unsheathing Tetsusaiga

"Don't tell me she's yours, a beautiful woman like Kagome could have far better then you," Kouga laughed.

"Kouga, don't insult Inuyasha like that," Kagome scolded.

"Sorry Kagome," he said immediately. "So have you decided to be my mate yet?"

"Um, well…" Kagome hated when he asked that question.

"Fuck off, wolf!" Inuyasha shouted, swinging Tetsusaiga. Kouga easily evaded the move. "She's ain't yours, she's mine!" Kagome's jaw dropped, and Kouga growled.

"What the hell did you say mutt?" he hissed. "There's no way in hell Kagome's yours!" Kouga dashed at Inuyasha and caught him off guard. He landed a punch to the chest and sent Inuyasha flying. The hanyou hit a tree and fell to his knees.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled, running towards him.

"No, Kagome!" Miroku shouted, holding her back. "You can't, you'll get hurt."

"Listen to the houshi, Kagome," Inuyasha snorted, climbing to his feet. "I can handle this mangy fleabag on my own." Inuyasha jumped and narrowly missed cleaving Kouga in two with Tetsusaiga.

"We can't let them fight like this!" Kagome protested.

"We have to," Sango said solemnly. "Inuyasha called you his, knowing Kouga has laid a claim to you. It's a challenge of mates now." She explained. Kouga aimed a kick at Inuyasha and flung him into the trees. Kagome broke away from Miroku and ran after Kouga as he went looking for Inuyasha.

She came to them fighting at a cliff, Inuyasha and Kouga trading blows, but neither giving in.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Kouga sneered. "Kagome's my woman, she's never been yours. Filthy hanyous like you _die, _they don't have mates!" Inuyasha snarled and leapt at him, Tetsusaiga above his head.

"She's not yours!" he shouted. Kouga dove and landed a kick to Inuyasha's stomach, sending him back onto the ground. Tetsusaiga spun in the air before landing to stick in the ground behind Kouga. Kouga knelt down and picked up Inuyasha by the neck. He pulled Inuyasha up to his face and sneered.

"She's mine," he whispered. He drew Inuyasha back and slammed his fist into his chin in a fierce uppercut while digging his claws into Inuyasha's neck. Inuyasha flew back, rivers of blood pouring out from the wounds Kouga's claws gouged on his neck. He screamed in pain as he sailed over the edge of the rocks. Kagome gasped and ran to the edge.

"Inuyasha!" she screamed. She tried to watch him as long as she could, but he vanished into the mist below. Kagome felt warm tears run down her cheeks as the man she loved disappeared from her view, and her life, forever.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Kouga!" Kagome cried, sitting up from her sleep. She looked at her companions, and found them all asleep. Kagome breathed a sigh of relief and tried to calm her hammering heart. They weren't awake, nothing tonight, luckily for her. She lay back down and tried to forget that dream. That day had been three years ago, and she dreamed about that day every night. And almost every night she woke up, which usually meant…

A muscular hand slid around her waist, and Kagome tensed as a firm, masculine body pulled her up to its chest. She was wrong. Not _everyone_ was asleep.

"You wake panting, flushed, and cry out my name," Kouga chuckled, kissing her neck. "That must have been one hell of a dream." Kagome gulped as the hand on her waist started to work its way up under her blouse.

"Yeah, I guess," Kagome mumbled.

"I usually find that real life is far more rewarding," Kouga said, licking her neck. Kagome sighed and locked herself away in the precious box of sanity that kept her alive as Kouga's hands worked under her clothes. She barely even felt the pain as Kouga took her to the gentle glow of the dying fire. Not just physical pain, which she could deal with. In the last three years, Kouga's various acts had…stretched her. She didn't hurt after the first month or so. But the pain it caused her head was far worse. She didn't hurt because of what Kouga did, but because of what she did.

Because after three years of being taken, she simply didn't care anymore. She felt nothing for Kouga's acts anymore, she was used to them. The one she was disgusted with wasn't Kouga; it was her.


	2. Fragments

Broken Dreams

**This chapter will relay just what's happened in three years. For timeframe purposes, Kagome had been traveling with Inuyasha for two years when he was killed, so she's now twenty.**

Chapter 2

Fragments

Someone once said; when you have love, everything's just a little bit brighter. Kagome had figured that if that was true, then so was the opposite. After Inuyasha was killed, everything seemed to go dark.

She had cried the entire day Kouga had thrown him over the cliff. And the day after that. She had cried herself to sleep the second night. Then she had woken up crying the next morning. But not crying over Inuyasha. She cried because of the bruise on her neck, with two tiny bite marks on it. That night, Kouga had taken her into the forest, and claimed her as his mate. She had twisted herself out of Kouga's arm, walked to a stream not too far away, and set about washing herself of the filth, both real and imaginary. Kouga has spent two years lusting for her, so that night, he was a little eager, to say the least. Kagome had been sore the entire day.

The problem wasn't just the soreness that she had between her legs. More painful then that was the looks she got when she stumbled back to camp. Miroku and Sango had been awake when Kouga had taken Kagome into his arms and leapt into the forest. Anyone with a brain could tell what had happened. Shippo may have been a little young, but he knew when something was wrong. And the morning after Kagome's first night with Kouga, Shippo could tell that something was even more wrong.

"Kagome? Are you still sad about Inuyasha?" Shippo asked. The kitsune had also shed tears for him the first day, as they all had. Kagome opened her mouth to answer, but a strong hand over her shoulder shut her up.

"No way kid, Kagome's fine. Are you, koiboto?" Kouga asked, pressing a kiss to Kagome's cheek and flashing Shippo a toothy grin. Shippo had been quiet the rest of the day. He and Kagome had suffered the worst through the entire ordeal. Sure, everyone in their group loved Inuyasha, but Shippo and Kagome were closer to him than Sango or Miroku. The three of them were like a surrogate family, or so Kagome liked to think. It was the second time Shippo had lost a father.

But it wasn't just the death of the hanyou that had changed Shippo. It was Kouga's acts that had made the little kitsune grow up. Kagome figured Shippo had been pretty young at that point, maybe seven or eight. But physical age means nothing compared to psychological age. Shippo had grown up very fast in three years. At first, he didn't understand why Kouga felt the need to take Kagome into the forest every other night. Then, about five months after that fateful day, Shippo got a major clue.

Kouga had gotten bored with taking Kagome into the forest. That night, he claimed her right in the campsite, with her friends barely ten feet away. Miroku and Sango hadn't heard the soft moans that Kagome couldn't keep from coming out of her mouth. But Shippo had. He had woken up, rubbed his eyes, and gotten a look at the two of them.

"Kagome?" he yawned sleepily. Kagome's head snapped to the side to look at the kitsune in horror. Kouga, ever the opportunist, reached down between them and flicked her bud. Kagome's body snapped taut as she reached her peak under his touch.

The next day, Kouga had taken Shippo into the woods. Had Kagome only known why, she would have pleaded with Kouga not to. But it was too late, and the deed was done. Kouga had come back ten minutes later, alone. Kagome asked where he had been, and Kouga said that he had been talking to Shippo. Fearing for the kit, Kagome had run into the forest. She found Shippo sitting on a fallen log, looking completely spooked. Kagome took a step towards him, and Shippo looked up at her. At that exact moment, she could have taken a guess at just what Kouga and Shippo had talked about. For the first time since she had known him, the hidden trace of innocence and playfulness behind Shippo's eyes was gone. Shippo asked Kagome if _that_ was why Kouga took Kagome away at night. Kagome nodded, and Shippo leapt onto her and hugged her. Kagome had fallen to her knees and hugged back, praying that Kouga wouldn't take Shippo from her too. He was the only good thing she had left, and the two of them valued what little time they had together since Inuyasha's death all the more.

One of the few gods left who hadn't condemned her must have taken pity on her. Kouga didn't take Shippo away, nor did he force Sango or Miroku to leave. If there was one good thing about Kouga, it was that he had never raised a hand to any of them, even Kagome, no matter how angry she made him, especially at the beginning. In the beginning, she begged Kouga to leave her alone, to take that single night of pleasure he had stolen from her and leave them. When he had refused, so had she. She refused to sleep with him. That was when the torture started.

Not physical torture, not exactly. Kouga never once harmed Kagome on purpose. His acts hurt her occasionally, but he didn't know that she had bled from the various ways he took her. Kouga's torture had been far more deadly then any weapon made of steal; seduction. Kouga dug into some lost, devious part of his lustful brain, and seduced her.

A few nights later, Kouga had taken her to an abandoned hut in the woods. He had tied Kagome's hands behind her back, literally ripped off her clothes, held her legs apart, and knelt down to do his work. Kagome's mind hated him, but her body had begun to crave him. And Kouga knew it, and knew how to use that to his advantage. He drove her on to the brink of pleasure, then stopped and pulled away. Kagome was shocked that he wasn't taking her against her will, but it seemed he didn't have to. Kagome was all too willing to submit.

He had held her legs apart, and waited. Kagome then learned what true lust was. Her mind was mentally pleading for Kouga grant her release. Her body was begging for release too, but not from Kouga's grasp. He had waited while Kagome's body cried out for his touch. Kouga knew exactly what he was doing. Kagome, teetering on the edge, was burning with need. But with her hands tied, and Kouga holding her legs, all she could do was lie there and wait for it to go away. But considering there was a willing, able male just a foot away, her body wasn't having any of it, and the need just got more intense. Finally, after a few minutes of agony, her mind gave in to her body, and she begged Kouga to take her.

That was the first and only time Kagome resisted Kouga. What small piece of her soul that had survived Inuyasha's death was lost the day she begged Kouga to make love to her. As much as she hated him, she needed him. Kouga knew just how to treat her to make her want him. Seduction had become a favorite game of his, touching Kagome but refusing to allow her release. It only came when Kagome finally submitted and begged him to finish.

Inuyasha- when he had been alive, at least- had called Kagome a weak human at times. Kagome wasn't sure that being human had anything to do with it, but he was right about her being weak. She was weak. Too weak to deny Kouga, too weak too run away and leave her friends to him, too weak to even try and end it. Kagome had thought about suicide, ending her pain, joining Inuyasha in the great beyond. She was too weak to go through with it. She begged the gods to save her, to save her from her weakness and end the nightmare one way or another. But Kagome wasn't going to be saved this time.

Whenever she needed saving, it was Inuyasha who had done it. A flurry of red and silver quickly cut down whatever might have been hurting her. But Inuyasha wasn't going to save her this time. For the first month, Kagome had dreamed of him surviving the fall, living, coming back and killing Kouga. Then came the day they were traveling at the bottom of the cliff he had died below. Kagome slipped away from the group and went to try and find some reassurance that he had lived. What she had gotten was the bloody sheath of Tetsusaiga, as well as the scattered beads of a broken rosary. The actual fang itself was gone, and Kagome could have taken a guess where it was. If he had lived, Inuyasha wouldn't have taken Tetsusaiga and left its sheath. Besides, if Inuyasha had clung to life after the fall, Sesshomaru wouldn't have left him that way for long. If Inuyasha had survived Kouga's wrath, Sesshomaru would have no doubt finished the job and claimed Inuyasha's sword. To this day, Kagome hadn't seen the taiyoukai again, which could only mean that he knew Inuyasha wasn't with her to challenge anymore.

Kagome had taken the items and stashed them in her pack, hiding them from Kouga. She gathered up as many rosary beads as she could and restrung them, keeping the new rosary in her pocket. Whenever she felt weak - which was often now -, she touched the rosary and remember their wearer. The memories had faded over three years, blurred so that Kagome couldn't recall certain details. But one thing she never, ever forgot was Inuyasha's face. Kagome didn't care if she died in Kouga's arms, she would never forget what her love looked like.

Kagome sniffed and smelt fire, meaning someone had started the morning meal. She opened her eyes as Sango stoked the flames, and Miroku looked through her pack for some vegetables to add to the pot Sango had at the side.

Time for another day in Kagome's own personal hell.


	3. Return to Where it Started

Broken Dreams

Chapter 3

Return to Where it Started

"Kagura has not attacked us recently, so we must assume that Naraku has moved on. This could mean he did not hear of the Jewel shard in the area, but I doubt it. More likely he got the shard and now has no reason to stay behind," Miroku said. Kagome nodded. About two years ago, Kouga led them into a fight at Naraku's castle. The dark hanyou dropped the barrier and had planned to kill Kouga and seize his shards. It didn't work out, and in the resulting battle that ensued, Kagome fired an arrow at Naraku, piercing the near-complete shard of the jewel and scattering the pieces once again. On the one hand, Naraku suffered a heavy blow, and had gone into hiding for over two months without the shards to project his barrier. On the more pessimistic hand, it also meant it would take longer to gather the shards. And the longer it took, the more time Kagome had to spend with Kouga.

"So are we going to head back to Kaede then?" Kagome asked. She was starting to miss the old miko. She still lived in the village where Kagome first met her. But once Kouga had taken her as a mate, their unofficial base of sorts became Kouga's cave. The wolves of several other tribes had joined Kouga, but the tribe was still widely under populated. Kouga, ever the considerate gentleman, was nice enough to let Kagome have a week or so of relative peace while she went through what he called her 'heat'. He kindly explained to her that since she was human, and he was youkai, that their kids would be hanyou. So of course, while she was Kouga's mate, she was never going to be the bearer of his children.

When Kagome heard that she was never going to be impregnated with Kouga's child, she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or insulted. On the up side, her 'heat' stopped Kouga from going all the way with her. But it didn't stop his touches and caresses. Just because she and Kouga couldn't have sex didn't mean it stopped the various foreplay. And on the downside, her heat smell drove Kouga wild, so rather then take her every other night, the 'sessions' as she had begun to call them, were every night, and usually longer.

"I guess. If the old woman would move into the cave, we'd never have to go back there," Kouga growled. He licked his lips and kissed Kagome's neck. The amorous wolf had his mate seated in his lap, with her back held closely against his chest.

"Kaede can't just abandon her miko responsibilities to the village, you know that Kouga," Kagome said. Kouga snorted a breath of hot air onto her bare shoulder.

"I know, I know. I just hate going back there. You always get depressed, and sadness clouds your pretty scent," Kouga replied. Kagome inwardly cursed, letting the hatred show on her face since Kouga couldn't see. Of course she got sad when she went there. All of Kagome's good memories were there, including the memories of the Bone Eater's Well. Or at least, when it had been there.

It was a week after Kouga mated her that she tried to escape. She secretly said her goodbyes to Sango, Miroku and Shippo, jumped on Kilala, and fled for the well. Kouga woke up and caught her, just as she reached the clearing. Kagome's leg was over the side of the well when Kouga grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug. He took her back to Kaede's hut and demanded that they tell him what was going on with the well. When Kagome finally broke down and told him, he got up and went back. Kagome wrapped her arms around his legs and begged him to leave the well alone. Kouga apologized, not looking the least bit sorry, and smashed the well to pieces, cutting Kagome off from her family forever. He simply said he wanted to make sure Kagome could stay where he could protect her. But Kagome knew better.

With her family out of reach forever, Kagome's attire had changed. Her old school uniform wasn't the most durable of clothing. And as an extra disadvantage, the amazingly short skirt let Kouga take matters into his own hands, so to speak, on the road. The uniform lasted for around a year, and suffered its share of tears and rips. Kagome had thrown it away after that, but not before she found a seamstress and had new clothes made, paid for by Kouga's insistence that his mate wasn't going to go around nude in front of humans.

Kagome now had a change of clothes with her in the form of four blouses the seamstress modeled after her old school shirt. They were pretty plain, only one color; light blue. They also buttoned up, a lesson Kagome learned from having Kouga rip the fifth blouse in a lustful haze. The buttons at least convinced him to take an extra ten seconds and save her clothes. Kagome preferred the blouses to the one-piece kimonos that a lot of the women wore. Although considering who she was mated to, a one-piece suit that covered all might be a good idea; harder to unravel. She relinquished the skirt in favor of the simple hakama, which seemly put a stop to Kouga doing anything while traveling.

"Perhaps Kagome could come with us and you could stay here. That way you don't have to smell her," Miroku suggested. Kagome shot him a look of thanks that quickly vanished when Kouga nuzzled her neck again.

"I'll get used to it," he mumbled. "In the meantime, I'm going to take a quick look around, try and see if I can sniff out Naraku before we go." Kouga let go of Kagome, stood up, and dashed into the woods. Kagome watched him go with a scowl, then turned to Miroku.

"Did you really think Kouga was going to leave me alone for so long?" she asked bitterly. Shippo bit his lip and jumped onto her lap.

"It was worth a try Kagome," he said, defending the houshi. Kagome nodded. Her friends had tried many things to get rid off Kouga. The obvious choice, early on at least, was kill the wolf. That idea quickly dispelled when Myoga came to inquire about the rumors that Inuyasha had been killed. Hearing the plan, Myoga proceeded to crush Kagome's hopes by explaining that in youkai mating, when one mate dies, so does the other. The meant Kagome was stuck with Kouga. Youkai mating was a powerful bond that was meant to be forever. The only way Myoga knew of to break the mating effects was for Kagome to mate a youkai that had a higher ranking in the youkai hierarchy. Since Kouga was prince of a wolf tribe, it was unlikely that anyone could be found with a higher ranking. And even then, they had to successfully challenge and kill Kouga for the right to mark her, meaning there still was no guarantee.

Myoga explained that only youkai lords and generals could legally break Kouga's strangle hold on her. He promised to investigate into finding an eligible taiyoukai for Kagome, but Kagome wasn't holding her breath. Myoga wasn't the trustworthiest youkai she had known. In fact, she hadn't seen him in months. Plus, if all taiyoukai were like Sesshomaru, they probably wouldn't be interested anyway.

Kagome hugged Shippo to her and just sat there for a moment while Sango and Miroku gathered the camping supplies up for travel. Kagome loved those precious few moments when Kouga wasn't there. She cuddled Shippo to her and tried to imagine that the past three years were an illusion. That Inuyasha had won that fight and that she wasn't a whore that gave herself up almost five times a week. With her son curled up in her arms, and her friends letting her enjoy her peace, she could almost get lost in her fantasies. However, there was one part of the fantasy that always anchored Kagome to the ground, reminded her it was a mockery. Something she missed even more then her family.

The knowledge that she was safe with a pair of golden eyes watching her from afar.


	4. Blast From the Past

Broken Dreams

Chapter 4

Blast From the Past

"We should be back there in a few days," Kouga announced. The group nodded and kept walking. It was mid-day, and Kagome was looking forward to lunch. Shippo was with Sango and Miroku on Kilala behind them, and Kagome wanted to spend time with the kit during lunch. With Kouga clinging to her like a leech most of the time, she didn't get to talk to Shippo as much as she liked. The kitsune and her friends had become her family now, and she tried to keep the distance between them to a minimal.

"We can wait here," Kouga said, stopping. Kagome sat down beside him and took off her pack. She opened the flap and stared. The sheath of the missing Tetsusaiga lay along the side of the pack. Over the years, Kagome had gotten rid of her old worn out yellow pack and gotten a much bigger one. Kouga had started off by insisting to carry it, but Kagome wanted it herself for fear he find the sheath.

Kagome pushed aside the old piece of wood and looked at the vegetables inside, frowning.

"I don't think we have enough vegetables for stew," she called softly. Kouga looked over her shoulder at the remaining provisions and nodded.

"Yeah. I'll go hunt and get some meat," he stood up and sniffed the air. "I think there's a river not too far away, we might be able to get some fish."

"I'll go," Kagome said. It was times like this that she was thankful that Kouga still cared about her safety. If he wanted her safe, then he'd probably say…

"You can't go alone, what if you get attacked?" Kouga asked

"Shippo can come with me," Kagome said with a shrug. The kit looked up from Kilala's back and shot a surprised look her way. Kouga walked over to the kit and stared him in the eye,

"Make sure she doesn't get hurt, alright?" he said sternly. Shippo nodded, and hopped off Kilala to run to Kagome. He looked up at Kagome smiled. Kagome smiled back, hoping it didn't seem forced. She really was happy that she and Shippo could have time together, but nowadays, happiness didn't really show on her face that much.

"The river is that way," Kouga said, pointing off into the forest. "Be careful, I don't want either of you hurt." And with that, he dashed into the forest to find lunch. Kagome stood up and walked off in the direction Kouga had indicated, Shippo following. A few minutes later, a river came into view. It would have come up to Kagome's knees, and was most likely teeming with fish. Kagome pulled up the hakama and tightened the cuff to keep them above her knee, and waded into the river. Shippo sat down on the shore and kept watch.

Kagome bent over slightly to watch the fish swimming past her, and frantically tried to grab one. She didn't. Shippo chuckled slightly.

"If you keep splashing like that, you'll never get one," he explained. "You've got to wait until you're sure you can get one, then snatch it." Kagome nodded, grateful. She looked down at the fish, watching the little kitsune out of the corner of her eye.

"So you're doing alright?" Kagome asked, swiping and missing a fish. Shippo shrugged.

"I guess. But I really have no place to complain, what with you go through every…" Shippo trailed off as he realized what he had started to say. "Sorry Kagome, I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did, Shippo," Kagome said sadly. "You meant every word. Who are you to complain considering that I'm the one in that bastard's arms every night," she spat. Kagome, in the past three years, had grown to loath Kouga. Kagome had never hated anyone, except for Naraku. But what Kouga did to her could not be forgiven in a million years. If Kagome had her way, he'd rot in hell, feeling the same pain her caused her for eternity.

"Kagome?" Shippo said quietly, snapping her from her thoughts. "Do you ever think about…him?" Kagome bit her lip. 'His' name wasn't spoken aloud much anymore, it hurt to say it. But the thoughts didn't do much help either.

"No," she said, trying to keep her voice level.

"Liar," Shippo retorted. Kagome smiled wryly.

"Damn youkai nose."

"I don't a nose to know you're lying. If it helps…I think about him too," Shippi said softly. Kagome sighed.

"I just can't help but think…if I had told Kouga to leave us alone sooner. I could have stopped this so many times. Inuyasha wanted to kill him every time he came around, and I stopped him. I could have stopped Kouga…" Kagome's shoulders slumped, and Shippo jumped on her back.

"Shut up Kagome." Shippo hissed. "Don't you dare think like that! Kouga's the only one to blame! None of us could have thought he would act like this once he mated you. You've done nothing…" Shippo was cut off by a loud splash several feet up the river. Kagome and Shippo snapped their heads up and stared at a small spot in the river where air bubbles were rising to the surface.

"Did you see what it was?" Kagome asked. Shippo didn't even get a chance to open his mouth as the thing in the river answered for itself. The water splashed again, and to Kagome's surprise, the figure in the water was human.

She looked fairly young, maybe 10 or 11 years old. He hair was pulled into a ponytail at the back with two strands framing either side of her face. She laughed with a joy Kagome had forgotten even existed. It made Kagome glad to see that there was still innocence in this world.

She wore a loose orange haori that was tied with a white sash, with a white undershirt showing through the V at the top. The whole thing was sopping wet and sticking to her body. She bent over to swipe at a fish, giggling as a spray of water hit her in the face. She stood up and finally saw Kagome. She stopped laughing and stared, taking a step back, but not moving otherwise.

Kagome was stunned. What was a young human girl doing in the forest without anyone to protect her? But that wasn't the only thing that shocked Kagome.

What really got her was the little voice in her head that insisted she knew this girl. Kagome cleared her throat and took a step forward. The girl quickly took another step back. Deciding against trying again, Kagome stayed put.

"Who are you?" she called. The girl shook her head. "Please tell me. I think I know you," Kagome explained. The girl looked Kagome over, and frowned.

"I don't know you," she declared. "And you can't know me if I don't know you." She finished the claim by crossing her arms and nodding.

"If you tell me your name, I'll tell you mine. Then we'll know for sure." Kagome offered. The girl thought this over, then slowly nodded.

"My…my name is Rin."


	5. Tetsusaiga

Broken Dreams

Chapter 5

Tetsusaiga

Kagome blinked as the girl Rin nervously said her name. Rin…she knew that name. Wait.

"Are you the little girl who travels with Sesshomaru?" she called. Rin's jaw dropped, and she glared.

"I am not a little girl, I'm twelve!" she pouted. "And how do you know Lord Sesshomaru?" she demanded.

"Rin, where is he?" Kagome asked. Rin kept her arms crossed.

"Master Jaken said not to talk to nasty human women. They smell and lie to everyone," she sniffed.

"Did he now?" A silky voice asked. Rin gasped and turned around as Sesshomaru stepped from the trees behind her. Rin obediently bowed, getting more water on her clothes.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I am sorry my lord, but I was merely catching a fish when this girl."

"Be quiet, Rin." Sesshomaru ordered. Rin did as she was told. "Stand and come out of the river. Your clothes are getting wet." Rin nodded and walked onto the shore. Sesshomaru lashed out his youki whip and snapped it back with a flick of his wrist, several fish landing on the shore in its wake. Rin smiled at him and picked up the fish in her arms. "Go to Jaken and eat. I shall join you shortly," Sesshomaru commanded. Rin nodded and ran into the trees. His ward appeased, Sesshomaru turned his attention to the other woman in his presence.

"So, your name is Kagome, correct?" he asked. Kagome nodded. "My brother's wench?"

"I was," Kagome muttered.

"Kagome!" Kouga called, running beside her. "What's going on, you should have been back…" he stopped as he noticed the youkai on the other side of the river. "You! What do you want?" he snarled, cracking his knuckles.

"I have not come to fight, wolf, and do not intend to," Sesshomaru said. "My servant was looking for her lunch, I was merely checking on her. My being here has nothing to do with you or your mate." Kagome hung her head. He knew. Well of course he would know. Youkai mated to make sure all other youkai knew their mate was taken, after all. Still, the fewer people that knew about her fate, the better.

"Then leave now!" Kouga demanded.

"Wait," Kagome said, lifting her head. "Kouga, could you take Shippo and go back camp? I want to talk to him." Kouga growled, but bent over to her shoulder and let Shippo climb on his shoulder.

"You owe me for this," he said in her ear. Kagome bit her lip. She knew exactly how Kouga would want his payment. The two youkai left, and Kagome turned her attention to the youkai that had leapt across the water to join her.

"Why do you wish to speak with me?" Sesshomaru asked. Kagome looked at him and summoned what little spirit she had left.

"Tetsusaiga," she said simply. "Where is it?"

"Why do you wish to know?" Sesshomaru replied. Kagome gulped. His answer told her everything.

"It was not yours to take, and it was _never_ been yours to have in the first place," she growled. "You have no use for it; it cannot be wielded by a full youkai."

"And you have no use for it, it cannot be wielded by a human, either," Sesshomaru said, narrowing his eyes slightly. "You have even less of a claim over it then I do. It is my father's heirloom and my bastard brother's legacy. You are no relation to him."

"You have even less then a claim on it then Naraku," Kagome snorted. "You denounced your father and your brother. The sword was crafted by him for Inuyasha, you have no right to take it."

"Inuyasha is dead," Sesshomaru spat, causing Kagome to flinch. Even if she knew, it hurt to say the words. "As such, his possessions are passed to the next of kin, either his mate or son. Since he had neither, it passes to his closet living relative, me."

"Shippo and I were more of a family to Inuyasha then you ever were," Kagome cried. "You tried to kill him countless times. And for what, a sword that you knew you couldn't use?"

"My usage of the sword matters not," Sesshomaru sniffed. "It is a matter of principal."

"You want to hear principal?" Kagome hissed. "I'll give you principal, you heartless son of a bitch. You're Inuyasha's brother. I know that means shit to you, but it means something big to everyone else. You're his flesh and blood. You're his elder, and I know that he must have loved you when he was young, but why, I can't even imagine. You refuse to let a woman honor his memory by refusing to let her have the weapon he used to save her life countless time, and you dishonor my life by telling me I don't have a claim of that same weapon. So if you have once single ounce of respect for the man who has even saved _your_ life on occasion, you'll let me have that sword." Sesshomaru stared at her for a moment before looking way.

"You dishonor him yourself by mating the wolf," Sesshomaru pointed out.

"I know, so can you let me try and make it up to him?" Kagome pleaded. Sesshomaru looked her in the face for a minute, and reached down his waist. Kagome looked down at his belt. Three swords were clipped there. Sesshomaru unclipped one of them and tossed it to her feet. Kagome knelt down and withdrew the sword to look at it. Like some sort of shining beacon, the Tetsusaiga slid out of the wood.

"It took a long time to convince Totosai to craft a sheath capable of tampering Tetsusaiga's power enough to allow me to touch it," Sesshomaru said. "However, you were correct; I still cannot wield the sword itself, only it's sheath." Kagome nodded and stood, clutching the rusty sword to her chest.

"Thank you," she whispered. She was silent for a moment. "When you found it, was he…"

"He had been there for some time," Sesshomaru answered. "He was as good as dead, nothing could have saved him. I left him. This Sesshomaru would not lower himself to strike a cripple, even a crippled hanyou."

"He was alive when you found him?" Kagome asked.

"His wounds were unquestioningly fatal, do not get your hopes up." Sesshomaru explained. "I smelt the wolf nearby, it must have been shortly after the assumed fight. He could not move at all, and could barely breathe. Attempting to save him would have proved futile."

"So you just left him?" Kagome asked bitterly. "You have the Tenseiga, you could have saved his life."

"I could have, but would not." Sesshomaru said. "He should not have been allowed to exist in the first place, death was a deserved fate." Kagome's nostril's flared, and drew back her hand and slapped him across the face as the last word left his mouth. Sesshomaru allowed the mask of ice to slip out of place as he stared at her in shock. No human had ever dared to strike him, especially not a woman. He regained his composure and glared at Kagome, cracking his knuckled.

"Do you want me to kill you?" he growled, clenched a claw.

"Yes," Kagome said. For the second time in less then a minute, Sesshomaru was shocked. This time, he kept that a secret.

"I have never known a human to wish for death," Sesshomaru murmured. "Why do you?"

"Because I am dead," Kagome said, her shoulders sagging. "I'm as good as dead. Do you know what I have? Kouga and Naraku. That's it. Kouga took my family, my innocence, and Inuyasha from me. Now I have nothing but him. What do I have to live for once Naraku is killed?" Sesshomaru listened to her words with his usual impassive stare. When she finished, she looked him in the eye and waited for his reaction.

"I am not going to kill you," Sesshomaru said. That said, he turned and leapt across the river again and began to leave.

"Why not?" Kagome called.

"Because I have no reason to. As you said yourself; you're already dead," Sesshomaru answered, walking into the forest. Kagome watched him, then headed back to camp, carefully slipping Tetsusaiga into the leg of her hakama. When she got back to camp, she was met by Kouga's embrace.

"Did he hurt you?" the wolf asked.

"No," Kagome said. "I didn't get any fish while I was there. Do you think you could get some?" Kouga nodded.

"Okay, consider it done," he said, running into the woods. Kagome made sure he was gone, then walked over to her bag and pulled out the sheath of Tetsusaiga. She felt the others watching her, but didn't pay attention to them. She pulled out Tetsusaiga and ignored the gasps of her friends. She slid the sword into its wooden hold and just looked at it for a moment. Tetsusaiga and its sheath. Three years ago, the sword and its sheath were separated upon the death of their owner. And now, they were reunited. A sword with the power to slay one hundred youkai in a single swing. A sword that would never be used again.

Kagome tried not to think about Sesshomaru's words. Hope, she had learned, was meaningless. Hope only brought sadness when that hope went unfulfilled. She tried to focus on the task at hand of cooking lunch. As she had learned in the past three years, thinking about the past does nothing. The past can't be changed, no matter how much you wish you could.


	6. Rescue Me

Broken Dreams

Chapter 6

Rescue Me

Kagome and Kouga walked forward, leading the group. It was getting overcast, which meant good news for Kagome. Kouga never had a tryst when it rained unless they had a convenient cave. But on the downside, it meant he was want an extra long session the next night. Coupled with his payment for letting her talk to Sesshomaru alone, Kagome was not going to enjoy the next few days.

She was happy in a way to see Rin. The little girl reminded her of herself, or rather, how she used to be before everything in the last three years. She was so innocent and caring. Kagome vaguely remembered what it was like to be that way.

Innocence was a lost cause now. She had lost her innocence - in more ways then one - during her first night with Kouga. Even before that, she had seen more death and destruction then most people did in their entire lifetimes. Traveling five hundred years in the past fighting youkai will do that. She couldn't count the number of youkai she had seen slain. The only youkai whose life hadn't been snuffed out was the one she wanted to die most of all.

Caring was something that came to her on occasion still. But even though she was mostly glad to help out a starving villager or a lost traveler, there was now an underlying fear. Fear that they might want something in return. Kouga had always been kind and caring to her. And now?

Kagome missed the old days so much. Her least favorite time of day was when they weren't fighting youkai. She hated when silence settled over the group. Silence meant that people were thinking about what they didn't want to say aloud. That used to be her and Inuyasha and their ambiguous relationship, Sango and Miroku and their own troubles, and what Naraku had done to them.

Inuyasha would probably be thinking about what do with the jewel. If he still planned to become full youkai, or be full human. If he would use it to bring Kikyo back to life, if he still wanted to be with her, or if he had decided to be with Kagome. As much as Kagome wished he thought about her often, she had to admit that most of his thoughts were probably about the undead miko.

She had grown oddly comfortable with the thought of Kikyo. Thinking about her used to bring about feelings of jealousy and sadness, knowing that Inuyasha loved Kikyo and not her. But with Inuyasha gone, it didn't really seem to matter. Plus, Kikyo had not been seen even months before Inuyasha's demise, and hadn't shown up afterwards either. Kagome had no idea what had happened to her.

Sango was probably thinking about her brother Kohaku. He had been seen around a year ago when Naraku had sent him with Kagura, alive and well, so to speak. Kagome had thought that if they ended up fighting alongside Sesshomaru, she could ask him to revive the boy after the fight. But if Sesshomaru wouldn't even try and save the life of his own brother, Kohaku wouldn't fare much better.

Miroku still had the Kazaana in his hand. He didn't talk about it much. He and Sango had grown closer over three years, although that was partly thanks to Kagome for becoming distant from them. Kagome supposed that the Kazaana might have been growing bigger in the last little while. She'd have to ask him.

A sound of tearing fabric drew her attention, and she turned to see a tree branch ripping a hole in her pack. She twisted away and the contents went spilling on the ground. Kagome cursed and bent down to pick up her thing. Kouga looked over his shoulder.

"You need some help there Kagome?" he asked. Kagome started shoving things back into her bag and gasped as her fingertips brushed against Tetsusaiga. She gulped and quickly slid the sword into a cluster of arrows to try and hide it from view. Kouga didn't even know she had carried the sheath with her for three years. If he found out she just wanted to talk to Sesshomaru to get the actual sword…

"No, I'm fine. You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up," Kagome said hurriedly. Kouga reluctantly nodded and kept walking. Kagome tried to shovel the various camping supplies and archery equipment back into the back, shifting around the straps so she could wear it with the rip facing up. After a few minutes, she had everything back inside the pack and got to her feet, running to catch up.

Just a few feet ahead the forest faded out into a chasm the cut deep through the countryside. A soft white mist obscured the bottom. As Kagome ran out of the forest, she saw her friends halfway across an old rickety bridge that spanned the cliffs.

"Wait up!" she called, running across the bridge. The group turned and watched as Kagome ran up them. Then her foot hit a particularly rotten piece of wood, and stepped right though it. Kagome gasped as her foot went into open air as she fell straight down through the missing section of bridge, her pack catching on the plank behind her. The worn out leather tore again, and Kagome screamed as she fell like a stone, her supplies falling like rain behind her.

- - - - - - - - - -

Kagome came awake in stages. First she got her sense of smell, and smelt a fire burning nearby. Next came her sense of hearing, at which point she heard a clash of thunder followed by the patter of rain. He eyes opened and focused on a wall next to her head. Then, sadly, came the pain, and Kagome's nerves went on full alert as she felt searing agony shoot through her body. She screamed in agony as her back arched up from the ground, feeling parts of her clothes sticking to her. She could take a guess what might have caused that.

"Stop it," a voice growled. A hand grabbed her trashing legs to hold them down. The second hand came on her collarbone and held Kagome down as she writhed.

"It…hurts…" she groaned.

"I know, I know," The voice replied. "But if you keep moving like that, it will only hurt more." Kagome tried to listen to whomever was helping her and tried to restrain her urges to move. After what seemed like an eternity of agony, her body settled down, and the hands gripping her form loosened slightly. Kagome whimpered as a wet sensation started moving down her torso.

She opened her eyes and moved her neck forward as much as she dared to find out what the feeling was. The man or woman- although it sounded like a man- had taken a damp cloth and was cleaning the blood off of her. And there was a lot of blood.

"You got lucky," the voice said. Kagome was sure it was a man now. "You hit a tree and it broke your fall. You're still badly hurt, but if you had hit the ground, you would have been killed for sure."

"You call this lucky?" Kagome murmured. "I'm in hell."

"I know," the man said. The hand left the washcloth and the man turned to the fire. He turned back holding a ceramic cup in his hands.

"This is hot, and will taste bad," he warned her. "But it will put you to sleep so it won't hurt anymore, okay?" Kagome stared at the hands holding the cup. One was missing the thumb. A small patch of milky scar tissue ran over where the thumb should be. The other hand was missing appendages too, the pinky and middle fingers, the lumps again covered by milky white skin. Kagome pushed away her unease and nodded slightly, more pain going through her at the gentle movement.

"I'm going to hold your nose to make you swallow it. It may hurt going down, but it's good for you." One hand - the one missing the pinky and middle fingers - pinched her nose. The other pulled her jaw down and slowly poured the concoction down her throat.

Kagome had taken the cold medicine Inuyasha had made for her. She had eaten an entire stalk of broccoli on a dare when she was twelve. She had gone through an odd phase when she was eight and she liked eating dirt. But she had never tasted anything like the liquid running down her throat. The man was right; it tasted terrible.

Kagome gagged as a reflex, and remembered the hand over her nose. She furrowed her brow and swallowed as much as she could in one gulp. She got most of it, but there was another mouthful. She shook her head, and the hand left go of her nose. Kagome angled her mouth and spit the foul medication onto the stone beside her. She groaned as a sick taste welled up in her stomach, and lurched involuntarily as she empties the contents of her stomach onto the medicine before falling back. The medicine took effect as her eyes drooped closed.


	7. Youkai

Broken Dreams

Chapter 7

Youkai

There's something about waking up in a puddle of your own dry vomit, combined with the fact you have no idea where you are or what time it is, that tends to put you in a bad mood. Kagome woke up with a throbbing headache. A second later, everything else started throbbing too, causing her to groan and shift slightly, causing even more pain. Memories flooded back, and she noted with a slight relief that the pain had lessened slightly.

"So you're awake, huh?" the man asked. Kagome looked up at he turned to look at her over his shoulder. Kagome hadn't taken much notice of him before, but she took the time to now that she wasn't so unsettled. She remembered the hands, but that wasn't the only odd thing about her savior.

He wore a dirty cloak that looked like it may have been white at some point, but was so dusty and dirty that it was dark grey, almost black. It tattered and dragged a little at the ground, and hung loosely from the sleeves that she could see. It had a hood that covered his head and hung over the front. A wire grating with black material stretched over it covered his face like a fencer's mask.

"Yeah, and I feel like shit," Kagome muttered, turning her head away slowly. The man nodded and turned back to the fire. Kagome faintly heard him stirring something, and took the time to look around her new surroundings. She was still in a cave, and it was still raining. Kagome noticed she couldn't see the actual rain for an awning over the cave entrance made of animal hides.

She looked down at herself and saw that she had a fur blanket over her, and faintly felt her clothes under her. The unpleasant feeling of dried blood all over her skin was gone, and Kagome realized just how he would have had to clean her. In the past, Kagome would have blushed at the thought of a stranger looking at her, but she didn't get the feeling that this man would be the kind to take advantage of her while she was asleep. He didn't come off as the same kind of man Kouga was.

Trust wasn't something that came easily to Kagome anymore. Her ability to trust in the goodness of people was lost a long time ago when she learned that even the most trustworthy people would betray that trust if they stood to gain from doing so. Considering she didn't have a name or face to place on this man, Kagome wasn't going to trust him either. But on the bright side, he had taken care of her so far. She was just worried what he would want in return. Eventually, everyone wanted something in exchange for kindness. Kagome pushed away those thoughts and examined the rest of the cave.

A large stack of firewood lay deeper in the cave next to a pile of more animal skins. Kagome felt the furs under her fingertips, and craned her neck slightly to see a soft bed underneath her. She sniffed and recoiled in disgust at the disgusting smell that was wafting through the cave. She coughed slightly.

"What's that smell?" she asked.

"The fire," The man answered. "I have to keep it burning all day and night." He explained.

"Why?" Kagome asked.

"I use it to burn herbs I get from a village not far from here. The herbs smell bad and hide my scent, and also put up a barrier around the cave to hide my youki so others can't sense it," The man explained. Kagome frowned.

"You hide from other youkai?" she gasped, surprised. She had never met many youkai who tried to avoid fighting.

"Yes," The man said. He picked up another cup from beside him and started to spoon something into it from out of Kagome's line of sight.

"Why?"

"You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" The man chuckled. "I don't like fighting," he turned with the cup. Kagome smelt a nice aroma coming from it as he brought it towards her.

"Why don't you like fighting?" she asked.

"Because it's stupid," the man replied. "Fighting only results in pain and death. Nothing is resolved."

"But some people deserve to die," Kagome sneered bitterly. The man wisely let it drop and held the cup to Kagome's mouth. The one hand came to the back of her head and tipped it forward so she could swallow without choking. Kagome felt something sharp touch the back of her hair, and she found her answer in the man's other hand- claws. Whoever this man was, he was a youkai.

"Here. I'm not sure if you'd want to eat anything solid, so this is just stew broth. It's still food though," the youkai said. Kagome smiled slightly and opened her jaw slightly. The youkai tipped the cup forward and Kagome felt the coiling in her stomach subside as she gulped down the broth. It wasn't the best she had tasted, but the last two things she had tasted were the disgusting medicinal brew and her own vomit, so she welcomed the change. When she finished her meal a few minutes later, she licked her lips and stared at where she thought the youkai's eyes were in his black mask.

"Why are you doing this?" Kagome asked. The youkai shrugged.

"I found you hurt. If I had left you, you would have died. I didn't want that. People shouldn't die," Kagome shook her head sadly as he turned away to get his own meal. Whomever this youkai was that had saved her, he was naïve. A few years ago, Kagome would have admired his resolve to live without fighting and killing. But now she knew better. Some people deserved to die, no matter what they do to redeem themselves.

"Do you have a name?" Kagome asked. The youkai tensed slightly. After a minute, he resumed fixing his meal, and Kagome thought he might not answer.

"No," he said, walking away from the fire. He sat down with a bowl of stew across the cave from Kagome and started eating. Kagome was surprised. What did he mean 'no'?

"What do you mean?" she asked. The youkai sighed and set his bowl down by his side.

"You asked if I had a name. No, I don't," he explained. Kagome was starting to get frustrated. Was a straight answer too much to ask?

"That's not possible, everyone has a name," Kagome insisted. The youkai shook his head and clasped his hands together.

"Not everyone. I don't," the youkai said, resuming his meal. Kagome sighed. This guy was getting more confusing by the second.

"Why not?" Kagome asked. The youkai stared down at his stew. His shoulders slumped, and he let out a breath.

"I don't remember it," he muttered. Kagome's jaw dropped. He didn't remember his own name?

"Well. what do other people call you?" Kagome suggested. The youkai tilted his head back slightly, seemingly in thought.

"The village I go to sometimes, I go once a month usually. I trade the furs I've caught for spices and vegetables," he said quietly.

"Well what do the villagers call you?" the youkai thought for a minute, and then looked up at Kagome.

"My name is Youkai," he said. Kagome chuckled a little. It wasn't exactly a name, just a title or an insult, since he was youkai as far as she could tell by his claws. But at least she had something to call this guy.

"Hi Youkai, I'm Kagome."


	8. In the Past

Broken Dreams

Chapter 8

In the Past 

Kagome shivered slightly under the fur blanket. With some - okay, a lot - of help from Youkai, she had maneuvered into a sitting position leaning against the wall so she could move her neck and look around much easier. Youkai himself had gone out to hunt. Although he didn't like violence, he wasn't opposed to killing animals for food and furs. When she asked why, Youkai told her he respected them in his own way in exchange for their deaths. He only killed the dangerous animals like bears, and those he killed sparingly. Since he was a youkai and didn't need as much food as a normal mortal, a single bear could feed him for nearly a month. He did kill weaker animals if he needed to, but only those who were old or sterile and whose loss wouldn't greatly affect the area.

Kagome still couldn't honestly believe that Youkai was a saint. There were several youkai hides that she could see on the awning and the blanket. Youkai had killed his share of fellow youkai in his time. But he must have been on the losing end of a few battles too. That would account for his reluctance to fight. Youkai must not have had the most confidence in his skills. He didn't seem like a fighter to Kagome. He seemed like a thinker.

He had shown his intelligence all over the cave. Kagome's blanket didn't appear to be sewn, but was somehow one long continuous fur. If not for the variations of color, she could have sworn the blanket came from one animal. She would have to ask how he managed such a feat. Youkai's various innovation and adaptations were from a living of limited materials; thread to sew wasn't easy to come by. Most of the other things besides wood and furs Kagome figured must have come from the village he traded with.

He had taken the time to explain to Kagome why he went to hunt now of all times, and explained that it was likely to rain later that day. Kagome figured from the slightly increasing amount of light that it was almost dawn. Youkai said that the rain would wash away his scent and prevent potential enemies from tracking him. That, coupled with the awning covering the cave entrance, as well as the still-burning fire that hid his scent and youki, made it quite difficult to find the man.

Kagome was amazed at the effort Youkai put into hiding himself from others. She had to wonder if his implied wounds would have that effect. Some youkai could take on the appearance of humans. Youkai must not have been able to do so; otherwise he would have surely done so and gone to live in this village. And since he must not have been a good fighter, living the youkai way of life 'kill or be killed' wasn't a pleasant option.

"Can't live as a human, can't live as a youkai," Kagome muttered. Her lips curled into a small smile at the sad irony. A burst of light from the entrance of the cave brought her arm up to cover her eyes before it fell limp again. Youkai had fixed it in a splint of a wooden stick and wrappings that had it in a more or less straight line to make sure the bones healed properly, but it also gave her little to no use of it. Her other hand wasn't much better, the arm functional but the wrist sprained and useless. Her splinted arm at least had a usable hand. Kagome blinked away the light and squinted as Youkai let the awning fall back. With the light decent again, she noticed three animals hanging from his back.

"A good hunt?" she asked wryly. Youkai shrugged the bears off his shoulders and nodded.

"Yes. I need to feed you as well now, so I'll need more meat. Plus, it may not rain for some time, so I should stockpile anyway," he explained. He slung something else off his shoulder. "I found this near where I found you," he said, setting Kagome's pack by her bed. "Is it yours?"

"Yes," Kagome said. "Um, could you help me find something there?" she asked. Youkai nodded and started to stick his hand in the pack. "No, don't," Kagome said suddenly, causing Youkai to withdraw his hand. Kagome carefully moved her splinted arm to her lap. "I'll do it." Youkai nodded and held the pack up to her hand. Kagome felt around with her hand and felt Tetsusaiga under her fingertips. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She said, meaning it. Youkai nodded again and set the pack aside. He picked up the bear carcasses and took them to the fire. He cracked one of his claws and started to carefully cut the fur into slabs.

"You should be healed in a couple of weeks," he told Kagome. "I have to go trading again, I'm running out of vegetables. I'll take you when I go and you can wait for your mate at the village." Kagome tensed visibly as Youkai mentioned Kouga. She hadn't thought about him much.

"Fine," she spat, looking away. Youkai looked up from his work and cocked his head at Kagome. The miko chose a part of the wall to fix with an evil glare as she tried to ignore him. It didn't work. "What?" Youkai shrugged.

"You don't seem happy to be reunited with your mate," Youkai said. Kagome snorted.

"I am his mate, but not willingly," Sshe growled. Youkai nodded.

"Ah, I see. I'm sorry," he said, going back to slicing up the bears.

"What for, what did you do?" Kagome laughed bitterly. Youkai looked up at her again. "Now what?"

"That look…" Youkai murmured. "I see it on the faces of the widows in the village. It's a look of loss." Kagome's eyes hardened the second the last word left his lips.

"I don't talk about it," she said, looking away again.

"If you don't talk about it, it won't get better," Youkai said.

"Maybe I don't want it to get better," Kagome shot back.

"Why would you want that?" Youkai asked.

"Why are you asking this?" Kagome asked in response. Youkai looked up at Kagome.

"You are hurt, and not just physically," he explained. "You are sad and have been mated against your will. You should talk about these things."

"I don't need to talk to them," Kagome glared. "The only people who need to know these things already know them, and other people like you don't need to know them."

"I see," Youkai said. "Then do you discuss this man with those people who know what happened?"

"No," Kagome muttered. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I cannot understand why you will not talk about this," Youkai replied. "If you don't talk about it, it won't get better, and you won't get over it."

"It's not supposed to get better!" Kagome shouted, stunning Youkai. She fell back against the wall of the cave and felt something she hadn't felt in over a year. Tears. "I'm not supposed to get over it," she sobbed. "It's not supposed to stop hurting…" She broke down then and let it out. Inuyasha. Her injuries. Kouga. Her family. Kagome just didn't care anymore. Youkai took her hand and squeezed gently, wincing as Kagome clung to it for dear life.

"You see?" Youkai said quietly. "You still hurt. You shouldn't." Kagome's response was a low moan.

"You don't understand…" Kagome murmured. Youkai sighed and sat beside her.

"I might if you explained it to me," he suggested. "Why is it so hard to talk about?" Kagome stared at her feet and sniffed.

"Why do you want to know?" she asked, looking at him. Youkai looked away- she thought.

"I don't understand why you wouldn't want to get over past events," Youkai said.

"It's in the past, we don't need to talk about it," Kagome said.

"The past shapes the present and future. If you don't talk about your past, you have no future," Youkai said. Kagome snorted.

"What would you know about the past?" she said bitterly. Youkai shrugged.

"Well for one thing, I don't remember mine."


	9. Trust Me

Broken Dreams

Chapter 9

Trust Me

It was a full day later, and Kagome and Youkai still were not on speaking terms. He had not neglected his duties, such as changing her bandages, feeding her, and making more fur blankets that Kagome assumed he was going to trade when he went to the village in a few weeks. And presumably, he would take her along to await Kouga. Kagome was grateful that Youkai took such extreme measures to hide; the foul-smelling fire also hid her scent from Kouga. If Kagome had her way, she'd sneak off when Youkai left in the village and wouldn't hear anything from Kouga for the rest of her life.

She had been surprised by Youkai's claim that he didn't remember his past. She was surprised by the fact that Youkai didn't remember his real name, but to remember nothing at all was more then she expected. After his little confession, he had gone back to cutting up the bear carcasses and let the issue of her past drop. He had said that when she was ready to talk to him about her past, he would be ready to listen. Needless to say, Kagome wasn't ready and wasn't planning on becoming ready for a long time.

Youkai continued to surprise her in his generous nature. In her weakened state, he could have easily forced her to speak with him. But he didn't. Kagome couldn't figure out what his game was. Why was he doing so much for her? He was nursing her back to health and offering to reunite her with her friends, and all he had asked of her was that she talk to him about her past.

The thought that Youkai wanted information about the jewel struck her mind, and fear into her heart. She _had_ been the jewel's vessel into this world, not to mention five years of traveling to find the shards. The idea of Youkai wanting the jewel was definitely a possibility. For all she knew, he simply wanted her alive and well so she could find shards for him.

Another thought came to her, and Kagome gasped as she remembered Tetsusaiga wasn't the only precious cargo in her pack. Painfully shifting her leg so she could reach it by her bed, she darted a glance to the awning for Youkai. He had gone out to find more water since their current supply had run out. Kagome wanted to check now while he wasn't there.

She leaned forward and twisted her shoulder to fling her arm over the bag. She reached down and felt for the flap on the small pouch on the front of the bag.

"You shouldn't move." Kagome jerked backwards and Youkai walked into the cave with two buckets of water. The cuts and wounds on Kagome's arms flared up, and Kagome screamed in agony as pain shot through her torso. Youkai set the bucket down and ran to her side as she fell back onto the bed. Youkai cradled her head, and Kagome started to breathe deeply as she tried to remain still.

"Stupid girl," Youkai scolded. "You're still hurt, you can't move that fast." Kagome bit her lip and nodded and he pulled her blouse up to her bosom so he could inspect the wound on Kagome's stomach. He sighed and started to dab the newly seeping blood with the blanket.

"I…I…" Kagome heaved. She had started to explain what she was doing but caught herself. If Youkai didn't know about the six shards in her pack, and if she told him for nothing…she closed her mouth and waited as Youkai cleaned her up. He stood and retrieved the buckets of water. He knelt down again, tore off a section of his cloak near the sleeve, dipped it in the water, and started wiping away the blood. A few wounds had opened again, but it was nothing serious. Kagome had broken a few ribs in her fall, and a thick layer of bandages covered her entire upper body. The thick white wrappings kept the top of her torso safe for the most part, but the lower part was still covered in minor bruises and cuts.

"What were you doing?" Youkai asked. Kagome tensed as he asked his question.

"Nothing," she lied. Youkai looked up from her stomach.

"You don't risk injuring yourself for nothing," Youkai snorted.

"I was just looking for something, forget about it," Kagome snapped. Youkai shook his head.

"I could find it for you," he offered, He took a hand away for a minute and slipped it in the pouch Kagome had been reaching for. Kagome gasped.

"No, don't…" she pleaded. She trailed off as Youkai's hand emerged holding the glass vial of jewel shards. She gulped as Youkai cocked his head to look at the glowing pink shards.

"Hm, six shards," Youkai mused. "Are these the Shikon-no-Kakera that the villagers discuss sometimes?" he asked, looking up at Kagome. Kagome stared back nervously. "I'll take that as a yes." He said, slipping the vial back in the pouch. Kagome's stare lightened from fear to confusion as Youkai went back to cleaning her wounds.

"What do you want from me already?" Kagome shouted.

"What do you mean?" Youkai asked, dipping the cloth in the water again.

"You rescue me, feed me, take care of me. Why? You could easily kill me and take my shards, and no one would ever know about it. And yet you just clean my wounds. What do you want from me that you're taking this little charade of kindness so far?"

Youkai stared at Kagome for several minutes, during which Kagome was beginning to regret her words. If the idea hadn't occurred to him before, it certainly had now.

"What do I want from you?" Youkai whispered. "For one thing, you could start to trust me a little more then that." Kagome glared at him then looked away.

"I don't think so," she muttered.

"You sure are paranoid, aren't you?" Youkai chuckled.

"I'm just realistic. Nobody does favors and doesn't expect something in return," Kagome replied. "I'm not sure what you want from me, but I'm not going to give it to you." Kagome winced inwardly at her words. Here she was probably pissing off a nice guy who had done nothing wrong but…no! _'That's just his game!'_ she scolded herself. _'Make all nice and friendly, then turn on you!'_

"You really don't trust me at all, do you?" Youkai muttered, shaking his head sadly.

"You haven't told me your real name, and won't even show me your face," Kagome snapped. "You are acting very secretive, what am I supposed to think?"

"You are acting secretive too," Youkai pointed out. "And yet I trust you. As for showing you my face…" Youkai raised the hand missing the thumb and wiggled about where the appendage should be. "You see this? This is nothing compared to my head. Trust me, Kagome; I wear this hood for good reason." And with that, Youkai went back to cleaning Kagome's stomach, although he was almost done. Kagome stared at his head for a moment as his words started to sink in.

If his thumb was minor compared to his head, then what on Earth was under that hood? Kagome swallowed slightly at a disgusting mental image, and cleared her throat.

"Do you really trust me?" she asked. Youkai nodded.

"You have done nothing to break my trust, although it is a little odd that you do not trust me. I have no reason not to trust you," he explained. "You do have reasons to not trust me, however, so I suppose it is somewhat understandable that you do not trust me." Youkai stood up and carried the buckets of water to a small wooden basin in a corner of the cave that served as a sort of tub. It was lined with furs along the outside to prevent leaks was about half the size of a modern bathtub. Youkai dumped the water in the basin and left to refill them. Kagome watched him go and frowned as his claim she had reasons not to trust him echoed in her head.

_'I guess I could give him a shot,'_ Kagome said to herself. She just hoped that any trust she started to place in Youkai wasn't misplaced.


	10. Two Sides of the Story

Broken Dreams

Chapter 10

Two Sides of the Story

"There has to be a quicker way down there!" Kouga roared. The village headmaster shook his head.

"I am afraid not. The only faster way into the valley is the route you said your mate took. Otherwise, it's a several day hike to the northwest where there is a waterfall that feeds the valley river. You can climb down there, but otherwise, there is no safe way into the valley." Kouga growled and slammed his fist into a nearby tree, cracking it in two.

The wolf and his companions were hot on the trail of Kagome. Kouga had spent the previous day dashing around either side of the chasm, trying to find a safe way down. But the rain had dampened the cliff walls, so running down them was not an option. Also, Kilala had gotten soaked and in the process lost her ability to transform for a few days. With no way down, Sango and Miroku went onto the next village and asked the headmaster for a search party to find the miko. That was when they received the sad news that in order to get to where Kagome had landed, it was a long trip.

"Also youkai, there may not be a mate for you to rescue anymore. There is an old hermit in the valley who is said to hunt young humans for his food. If he found her, he may…"

"No stinking hermit is touching my Kagome!" Kouga snarled. "If he even tries anything like that, I'll rip his throat out!"

"This hermit is reputed to be a youkai himself, or so the valley villagers say," the headmaster said nervously. "You may not find killing him an easy task."

"I don't care," Kouga spat. "I just want to find Kagome." The headmaster looked up and frowned at the darkening sky.

"Looks like more rain," he murmured. "Ah well, its good news. The crops have been a little dry lately."

"I can't fucking find Kagome in the rain!" Kouga snarled.

"Calm down youkai," the headmaster soothed. "I ask that you attempt to remain passive if you are to stay the village. Now, I have a cousin in the lower village. I can send word to him of your mate, and ask him to look for her while you wait out the bad weather." Kouga growled and clenched his fist.

"Fine. Get us a damn place to stay for the night," he ordered, stomping into the village. Behind him, Miroku stepped forward.

"Please forgive him," he asked the headmaster. "Lately, he has been irritable without his mate." The headmaster bowed.

"Of course houshi. I know all too well how serious youkai take the mating marks. Come, our innkeeper has had little business lately, and will be more then happy to accommodate you." The headmaster turned and led them into the village. Kouga was found lounging around the inn where the innkeeper kept casting him nervous glances. Miroku informed him of their situation, and his attitude changed, and suddenly he couldn't do enough for them. An hour later, night had fallen, and the rain had come with it rather quickly.

Kouga slid open the shoji and watched as the headmaster knelt down near a bird and tied a small piece of paper to it's back. With a few words of instruction, the bird flapped off into the rain, headed for the valley. He sighed and bit his lip.

"Be safe, Kagome. I'll find you if it's the last thing I do."

- - - - - - - - - -

Kagome shivered slightly and pulled her blanket tighter around her. The awning of furs kept the sights and sounds of the rain dim, but the air inside the cave was growing steadily colder. Youkai frowned and stood up from making the stew. He pulled back the awning and shook his head in disapproval

"If this constant rain doesn't stop, I'm going to run out of good firewood," he murmured. Kagome rolled her eyes. The pile of firewood he had could have been used to build a small hut if he wanted to. She doubted that the rain would go long enough to outlast that much wood.

Youkai came back and resumed mixing the stew. He reached into a pot near his side and pulled out a clump of bear meat. He held it in one claw and sliced it into bite-sized chucks before dropping them into the pot and kept and kept stirring.

"Give it a few minutes. The meat will flavor the stew a little more, but I'm not sure if you want to try and eat it yet." Kagome shook her head, and Youkai nodded. He looked out the awning for a few minutes as the stew cooked over the fire. Kagome stared at him and bit her lip.

Youkai had said that she was going to be there for around two weeks while she healed. She really didn't have much choice to trust him. A cold breeze blew through past Youkai and made Kagome sneeze. She sniffed and silently cursed. In her state, the last thing she needed was a cold.

"Here." Kagome looked up as Youkai draped another layer of fur over her. Kagome looked around the cave and noticed it was the only other blanket there. This was the one Youkai had made only a day or so earlier from the bear carcasses.

"What about you?" she asked. Youkai snorted.

"I'm a youkai, and you're injured. You need all the strength you can get without getting sick," he said. He picked up the ceramic cup from before and dipped it in the stew to fill it with the broth. He withdrew the steaming meal and gently placed it in Kagome's hand- the one she could use.

"You'll be cold now though," Kagome said quietly.

"I can handle myself," Youkai replied, sitting back by his stew and waiting for the meat to cook. Kagome sipped her meal and stared as Youkai patiently awaited his meal. Then, Kagome did something she hadn't done around anyone except Shippo in three years; she smiled.

"Youkai?" she called softly. Youkai turned his head to look at her over his shoulder.

"Yes?" he called back.

"I do trust you," Kagome said, smiling at him. Youkai turned around completely and bowed his head.

"Thank you, Kagome," he replied. He lifted his head and stared at her for a moment. "You should smile more, Kagome. You're pretty when you smile." Youkai turned back to his stew, and Kagome stared at his back for the ump-teenth time since he had found her. Smiling again, Kagome drank her meal and pulled the two blankets tighter around her.


	11. Look Who's Walking

Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

Chapter 11

Look Who's Walking

Kagome's eyes fluttered open, and she groaned as the slightly numbing pain came to her. Youkai must have known what he was doing with his bandages, because the pain had gotten a lot better then Kagome would have expected. Of course, she still hurt when she moved too much, but other then that, she wasn't in too bad shape.

"How are you feeling?" Youkai asked. Kagome struggled and turned over at Youkai's words. The cloaked youkai was carrying a pile of firewood into the cave and piling it in the back.

"Like I fell off a cliff a few days ago," Kagome replied. Youkai chuckled. "You should try it sometimes, its great fun," Kagome snorted, looking away. Youkai sighed and left to search for more firewood. Kagome looked over the edge of the bed. A small cup of broth sat by the leg of the bed. Kagome slowly pulled herself back so her head was tilted up. Then she reached down and brought the cup to her lips. It wasn't boiling hot, but was a little better than lukewarm. Kagome sipped and swallowed the familiar brew.

Youkai's words from last night came back to her, and made her feel a little uneasy. When she had said she trusted him, she had meant it. Then his little comment about her smiling…Kagome didn't smile a lot lately. A life like hers would do that to you. Come to think of it, she only really ever smiled around Shippo, and she didn't get a lot of time with him anymore.

Kagome did find it a little odd that it was only after she assured him she trusted him that he told her she was pretty. Youkai hadn't even shown the slightest bit of attraction to her. Whenever he had cleaned and changed her bandages, he had done that and only that. He could have easily overpowered her at any time and done with her what he would. But he hadn't. His entire opinion of her was a mystery to Kagome. Of course, wearing a hood and mask will do that. Unless he said what was on his mind, Kagome had no way of knowing what Youkai was thinking.

Not for the first time, she wondered just what Youkai looked like to hide his face from people. She remembered how he claimed that the missing fingers were minor compared to his face. Kagome had seen her fair share of disgusting youkai over five years, but none of them cared what they looked like. Youkai was the first youkai she had met that was ashamed of himself, besides Jinenji that is. And even then Jinenji hid himself from villagers, but otherwise was fine. Youkai, as far as she could tell, hid himself twenty-four seven. Was it possible he was ashamed of what he looked like?

"Hey," Youkai called, walking back in with more firewood. "I was thinking, how is your leg feeling?" Kagome looked down. One leg had more or less been fairly fine in the fall, but the other had been broken and was splinted from the knee to the ankle. The ankle had also been sprained, and was wrapped in bandages.

"It's been better, but it's alright I suppose. Why?" Kagome replied. Youkai dropped the firewood in the pile and sat down beside her.

"But your arm around me," Youkai instructed. Kagome blinked, and Youkai did it himself, grabbing her arm and flinging it over his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Kagome asked. Youkai turned his head to her, and once again, Kagome cursed that damn hood.

"If you stay down the entire time the leg is healing, it will get weak. You need to keep it in shape. Now, I'm going to count to three, and when I hit three, I'm going to stand up with you, ok?" Youkai explained. Kagome bit her lip and nodded. Youkai counted, and heaved them up to the ground. Kagome hopped a bit on her foot before she leaned and rested her weight on Youkai's shoulder. Her injured foot was between them, gingerly resting a few inches above the ground. Youkai shook his head and looked down at her bandaged foot.

"If you don't put any pressure on it, the muscles will get weak," he warned her. Kagome nodded and gently tried to push her foot down onto the cave floor. She winced and pulled it back up. Youkai gently elbowed her, and Kagome tried again. By the fourth try, she managed to get the sole of her foot solid on the ground. She smiled and let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't relax yet," Youkai warned her. Before Kagome could ask him why, he took a step forward. Kagome's eyes widened as she realized what he meant. Her good foot snapped forward beside him. "Ok, get ready." Youkai coaxed her. He took another step, and Kagome carefully put her injured foot next to his. She gasped softly as the subtle pain flared to life and her ankle throbbed.

"It still hurts," she moaned. Youkai nodded and took another step forward. Kagome stepped with him, and gently put her other foot forward. This time, Youkai didn't move. Kagome took a few more shaky steps. Her good foot didn't really lift off the ground, but more shuffled forward so she didn't have to put her entire weight on her other foot. But it was working. She was walking. Kagome chuckled slightly and looked back at Youkai after she took a few more steps.

"H, hey. Look at me," hhe said nervously. Youkai nodded, and Kagome figured he must have been smiling out of her sight. Kagome tried to walk again, and accidentally lifted her good foot clear off the ground. Her foot gave out and she teetered a bit before falling backwards. Youkai ran forward and caught her, her momentum pushing him back as the two of them fell against Kagome's bed. Kagome's head hit Youkai's chest, and Youkai's head hit the cave wall.

"Ow," Youkai hissed. Kagome gasped and looked up at him over her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned. Youkai rubbed the back of his head and nodded.

"Yeah. I've had a lot worse," he muttered. "Your leg okay?" he asked. Kagome looked down nodded, rubbing the bandages.

"Yeah. Stupid leg," she growled, fixing a death glare on her ankle. Youkai pulled himself from under her, Kagome sitting on the bed under both of them. He knelt down and ripped the hakama along the seem, looking at the splint underneath.

"The splint is fine, it must have been the ankle that couldn't take the pressure," he murmured to himself. "I'll go out and look for a tree branch that you can use as a crutch, so you'll be able to move around a lot more then you can now." He told Kagome, standing up. Youkai jogged out of the cave to begin his search. Kagome sighed and leaned back. She reached down and found the forgotten cup of brew, sipping and grimacing at the lukewarm taste. She looked down at her ankle and furrowed her brow in thought.

She had tripped when her foot had failed her, and Youkai had caught her, his arms wrapping around her waist to cushion the blow. Youkai himself had been hurt a small bit when he had hit the wall, but he waved off her concern. What Kagome found odd and surprising was what had happened when Youkai had caught her in his arms. He had saved her and taken a hit himself when she had fallen. Something about that feeling struck Kagome as strange, because it was a feeling she hadn't had in years.

She had felt safe.


	12. Youkai's Past

Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

Chapter 12

Youkai's Past

Kagome licked her lips and eagerly beset her hunger upon the poor, helpless bowl of stew in her hands. Youkai apparently didn't think chopsticks were needed- he _was_ a youkai, after all. He had offered to find a good pair of small tree branches Kagome could use as substitutes, but the young miko had opted for her hands as opposed to tree branches. Youkai's store of vegetables was running low- he kept them in a dug out cabinet in the cave wall to keep them cool-, so the stew had few carrots in it, and was mostly meat.

Not that Kagome was complaining. She had been with Youkai for about a week now, and had only been eating meat for the last two days. The bear tasted a little odd - much like the old saying, it actually did taste like chicken -, and Kagome found herself oddly wishing for the rabbits that Kouga usually hunted. But Youkai had explained his reasons for his choice of prey, and Kagome was not about to ask him to compromise his ethics just to please her taste buds.

Youkai was out right now, looking for mushrooms. Mushrooms were pretty much the only vegetable he could find on his own. Kagome was a little worried that he'd accidentally pick some poisonous mushrooms, but figured it wouldn't happen. Youkai had been living here for a while; he must have known what he was doing.

Kagome's wounds had begun to finish their healing in the last few days. Youkai had found a sturdy tree branch, and whenever he went out to do whatever it was he did, she took the makeshift crutch and practiced walking. Her ankle still didn't like it, but as Youkai had said, she needed to try. It was pretty much all she had to do, besides counting the hairs on her head. She was up to two hundred thirty nine at last count, before an itch drew her hand away. Kagome was fairly sure she had more then two hundred thirty nine hairs.

Kagome was really going stir crazy sitting in the cave all day. As much fun as it was to lie around all day, she needed a little more. Youkai's agenda seem to consist of 'eat, do something outside, eat, do something outside, eat, sleep'. Kagome didn't know what he did to keep busy, but she wished he would tell her so she could take part. Youkai frequently came back with various odds and ends, like firewood and any sort of edible plant he found. But other then that, there didn't seem to be much for him to do. Youkai's life was rather low maintenance.

"No wonder he decided to take care of me," Kagome whispered. "I'm probably the most exciting thing that has happened to him in a while." she chuckled slightly.

"What's so funny?" Kagome's head snapped up as Youkai walked in, a sack slung over his shoulder.

"Speak of the devil," Kagome said. Youkai stared - or at least kept his head pointed - at her, then dumped the sack of mushrooms into the makeshift cabinet and flung out the sack. "Youkai, what do you do all day?" Kagome asked. Youkai sighed.

"I have ways of keeping myself busy," he said.

"Like what?" Kagome persisted. Youkai was silent for a moment.

"I…I…" he stammered. Kagome cocked her head to the side and he started fidgeting. She hadn't seen Youkai fidget before.

"Come on," she coaxed. Youkai sighed and sat down beside her on the bed.

"I…I try to remember," he whispered. Kagome put a hand on his shoulder.

"Remember?" she asked. Youkai slowly nodded.

"I told you, there's a lot I don't remember. I remember nothing that happened years ago. I remember up to a couple years ago, but before that…I don't even remember how old I am, where I used to live. My family, my real name…nothing." Youkai clenched his hands, and Kagome reached out to grab his wrist.

"I…I have dreams sometimes, but whenever I wake up, I forget them too. Sometimes I feel like I'm starting to remember things. Names and faces. But then something happens, and I forget again. I know there's things I should remember easily, but there's something stopping me." Kagome bit her lip. It _didn't_ seem right that Youkai could not remember a single thing after more than two years. Kagome frowned as a thought came to her from a psychology class back from her time. Maybe Youkai's memories weren't all that great. Maybe, deep down, he didn't _want_ to remember.

"Well isn't there something you remember from after you forgot?" Kagome asked. Youkai shrugged.

"I remember wandering around for a long time, looking for help. No one wanted to help me because I was a youkai, but when I came here, the village headmaster helped me. He said his mother had been a friend of a youkai, and knew that not all my kind were bloodthirsty monsters. The villagers didn't like me, but the headmaster took me in. He nursed me back to health, healed my wounds. I stayed with him a few weeks until the villagers demanded I leave. I found this place after the headmaster had me go. I managed to convince the villagers to trade with me, and that was that," he explained.

"Is there anything before the village?" Kagome said. Youkai looked down.

"There is something, but…" he trailed off as his hitched.

"But what?" Kagome whispered. Youkai stood up and sat down by the bear carcasses, cutting off more meat.

"I don't talk about it," he said simply. "I'll make the food for tonight." He said. Kagome nodded. Stew again. With the lack of potato chips and various types of instant foods that the last three years had brought, the meals usually consisted of stew, roasted meat, or a sort of salad while she was on the road. She had gotten used to the same type of meal several days in a row.

Youkai busied himself with slicing off chucks of bear and tossing them in the pot at his side. Kagome grabbed her crutch from beside the bed and pushed herself onto her feet. Youkai had become used to her practicing her walking, so he paid her little mind as she shuffled around the cave. Kagome had neared the entrance and was turning around when a flash of white caught her eye. Kagome went to the cave wall and examined the white thing.

It was an ofuda. The white paper was inscribed with four different kanji and plastered on the cave wall. Kagome figured it must have been the anchor that held the spell that hid Youkai's youki in place. She frowned as she noticed something odd about the ofuda. She'd never seen any ofuda written like it before. Kagome reached out and gingerly brushed her fingertips over the charm. She felt the magic of the ofuda tingle under her touch, but there was something wrong about the ofuda.

"Youkai, where do you get these ofudas?" she called. Youkai raised his head.

"The village monk gives them to me," he said. Kagome's eyes widened slightly. That couldn't have been right. The magic that coursed through the ofuda wasn't that of a monk. The one in the village must have been a fake, because there was no type of monk magic enchanting the ofuda. But if the monk hadn't enchanted the ofuda, that could only mean…

Youkai had enchanted them himself.


	13. Stepping Out

Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

Chapter 13

Stepping Out 

Kagome closed her eyes and focused. She bit her lips and furrowed her brow as she tried harder to detect any sort of magic in the cave. But Youkai's wards held fast; she couldn't detect a thing. Youkai's youki, the jewel shards in her backpack, the ofuda on the cave walls, she couldn't sense any of it. Kagome had been trying all yesterday and all today to sense magic inside the cave, but to no avail.

Youkai had fallen asleep leaning against the wall opposite her a while ago. Kagome had been debating an alternate way of sensing magic in the cave, but it wasn't exactly safe. She was pretty sure that Youkai would let her, but he might ask why, and she wasn't prepared to answer. Figuring she wouldn't get a better chance, Kagome grabbed her crutch and pulled herself up. Sparing Youkai a glance, Kagome assumed he was asleep. She couldn't really tell if his eyes were open, but his chest was gently rising and falling.

Nodding, Kagome shuffled to the mouth of the cave. She gently pushed the fur covering back and stepped outside. Night consumed her, along with darkness as the fire in the cave became hidden behind the furs. One pleasant change was the weakened scent of the fire, and the herbs Youkai had burned. He was low, and was planning to look for more when the sun rose.

Kagome focused again. Several youkai were in the area, and their youki lit up easily to her senses. But the cave was a blank hole. As far as her senses were concerned, the cave was completely empty of anything remotely magical. Kagome took a few more steps from the cave, and turned to look at it. Or at least, where she thought it was. The night, combined with the furs covering the cave, hid the cave very well.

Kagome tried focusing again, and was met with failure. If she didn't know better, she'd swear the cave didn't exist. Figuring it was a lost cause, Kagome took the time to admire the fact she was outside. The bed she had been spending most her time in was behind the fire, and the noxious herbs Youkai burned didn't cast their odor near her. It was a cool night out, and Kagome smiled as a warm breeze gently ruffled her hair.

A low growl came from the bushes behind her, and Kagome went stiff. She slowly looked over her shoulder. A youki gently throbbed from the bushes. It wasn't a strong youkai, but more then capable of killing her. Kagome couldn't see the youkai in the darkness, but she could see a visible pair of yellow eyes. Kagome took a step back, and the youkai took a step forward, its head sticking out from the bushes and becoming illuminated by the moon. It was a neko-youkai, not that much unlike Kilala's larger form. But this one was pitch black, it's eyes glowing a bright yellow. Kagome gulped and looked for the entrance to the cave again. The cliff was dark, and she had a guess where the cave was, but if she was wrong…

Kagome took off at a run, sprinting for the 'cave', her crutch falling behind her. The youkai snarled and leapt through the air. Kagome reached the supposed cave, and her hand slapped against cold stone. She panicked and ducked left as the youkai sliced its claws into the rock, leaving deep slashes. Kagome got five feet before her broken foot gave out and she fell to the ground. A savage claw came down on her wrist. Kagome turned her head and was met with a hot blast of wind as the creature lowered its fang to her head. Then there was a flash, and the youkai went flying to the right. Kagome rolled and stood up.

A few feet away, a yellow glow came from where the creature had been thrown onto it's side. A clawed hand reached for hers, and Kagome jumped.

"Kagome?" Youkai asked nervously. "Kagome, did it hurt you?" Kagome looked up at the kneeling form of the youkai. Kagome nodded and screamed as the youkai behind them climbed to its feet and leapt at them. Youkai spun around and held up an arm as a pair of razor-sharp fangs lowered towards him. The jaws sank into his arm, and Youkai screamed as the creature dug in. Youkai aimed a punch and slammed his fist into the youkai's head, dislodging it and rolling it to the side. Youkai picked up Kagome and stared as the beast started to get up again.

"Where's the cave?" Kagome asked. Youkai started to jog towards the cave, then a claw caught his ankle, and he went down, Kagome rolling a bit in front of him. Her hand brushed soft fur, and Kagome grabbed the bottom of the fur curtain. She hobbled inside the cave as best she could with her foot, and grabbed an arrow from her pack along with her bow. She ran back to the cave entrance and gasped at the scene of Youkai holding a pair of jaws from his throat, his claws wrapped around the fangs. Kagome briefly wondered why he was only grappling with the creature, but then she remembered that this was Youkai; he didn't want to kill the beast. Kagome strung the arrow and aimed. Biting her lip, she let loose.

The arrow sliced the air and buried itself in the haunches of the youkai, just above the hind leg. It reared back and snarled in pain as the purity arrow poured its power into it. Youkai knocked it back and stumbled to Kagome, limping slightly.

"You're hurt," Kagome whispered. Youkai nodded. There were scratches on his ankle and deep teeth marks on his forearm.

"I'll be fine," he said. He looked back at the youkai, who was writhing on the ground whimpering. "Good shot," he commented.

"Will it live?" Kagome asked.

"It probably hurts a lot, but it will live. Come on, we should get out of sight. It may have a mate," Youkai pulled Kagome's arm over his shoulders, and the two limped into the warmth of the campfire behind the fur curtain, the youkai's moans of pain growing dim as the creature followed suit and limped into the forest.

Youkai let Kagome fall onto the bed, and slumped onto the ground, pulling back his sleeve to look at the wounds on his arm. He grabbed a roll of bandages from beside Kagome's bed and rolled out a length. He ripped off the bandage and started wrapping it around his arm, holding the bandage in his teeth.

"Here," Kagome said, pushing his hand away. Youkai was about to protest, but let it slide as Kagome started wrapping his arm. "Does it hurt much?" Kagome asked, looking up briefly from her work. Youkai shrugged slightly and waved his free hand at her.

"I've had worse," he said wryly. Kagome glanced at his missing fingers and nodded. She finished wrapping and paused, wondering what to hold it with. Youkai reached down to his ankle and rubbed his fingers in the small bits of blood coming from his wound. He smeared the blood on the loose end of the bandage and pressed it against the rest, the blood holding it. "When it dries, it should hold fine," he said, wiping off his hand. Kagome nodded.

"What about your ankle?" Kagome asked. Youkai looked down and shrugged again.

"It'll be fine by morning," he said. He looked at the roll of bandages and sighed. "I'll have to go to the village sooner then I thought," he murmured. He looked up at Kagome.

"Did you have anything to do tomorrow?" he asked.


	14. On the Road

Broken Dreams

Chapter 14

On the Road

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kagome asked. Youkai nodded and hefted her pack further onto his shoulder. His own, smaller pack was on his other shoulder. Kagome had offered to let him use her pack so he could carry more supplies back to his cave, but she hadn't figured he would insist on carrying the pack himself.

"You have enough trouble holding yourself up with your foot. I'm youkai, I'll be fine," he said. Kagome shrugged and let is drop. Since she was using one hand to hold her crutch, it would be difficult to carry a pack. Kagome wasn't going to ask him outright if she did have to carry the pack. But if he were going to offer, she wouldn't deny him.

Kagome was amazed to find she really did trust the man, or youkai, as it were. The only people Kagome had really trusted recently were Sango, Miroku, and Shippo. Youkai had never shown her his face, or his real name. But then, he implied that his face was horrible, and he didn't remember his real name.

Kagome still couldn't understand that. Most people remembered something after a while. She figured there was some sort of enchantment around Youkai that was sealing his memories. That would explain his amnesia. But his disfigurements like his face and arms would still be a mystery. Despite her trust, she realized that she didn't know that much about Youkai.

Kagome wondered if the secret to Youkai lay in his first memories, the ones he didn't talk about. Someone or something that had happened in those memories must have caused him to forget. It was possible that Youkai had simply fallen after a fight, hit his head, and forgotten. But that wouldn't explain why he wouldn't talk about his early memories. Also, something told Kagome that his amnesia wasn't an accident.

Youkai pulled back the fur curtain and walked outside. Kagome shook her head to disperse her thoughts and followed him. Youkai said it was an hour's journey to the village, so they were in for a long trip. And after the previous night, Kagome wasn't up to a long trip. She had been on edge thanks to the adrenaline rush the youkai attack had gotten. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night. And after yawning what seemed to be every two seconds, the lack of sleep was starting to get to her.

"Are you sure you want to come?" Youkai asked, Kagome stifled another yawn and nodded.

"Yeah, I want to see this village," Kagome insisted. She also wanted to see the monk Youkai said he got his charms from. But she didn't tell him that. Youkai either hadn't told her that he was the one with the power, or he didn't know. No matter what the reason, she didn't want to tell him. He might not react in the best way.

The journey was rather boring. Youkai never had been very talkative. Plus, Kagome wasn't really sure how to strike up a conversation. Youkai had asked about her past, but she felt that kind of revelation from her would be best saved for off the road. She just hoped that when and if she did tell Youkai, he wouldn't think any less of her for what she had gone through.

Not for the first time, Kagome wondered what was going to happen when and if Kouga found her. She and Youkai had agreed that she would come back to the cave with him to finish healing, then she'd come to the village again. Kouga no doubt would be looking for her- he'd find her on his own. Then her life of sex and despair could begin all over again, until the day Kouga died in several centuries. Kagome could barely contain her excitement.

Fatigue had reared its ugly head. Youkai hadn't slept either, but he was youkai; he didn't need to sleep as much as a human. But Kagome was lagging behind the tireless creature after just a half hour of traveling. Kagome's eyelids were fluttering as she struggled to stay awake. A few minutes later, Youkai halted to a dead stop. Kagome's head had drooped so low that she was more or less staring at her feet, so she didn't notice Youkai had stopped until she walked right into his back. She jerked up and stepped back, fully alert for a short moment.

"Sorry," Kagome muttered. Youkai turned and looked down at her for a minute before stooping down and sweeping Kagome into his arms. Kagome gasped as Youkai picked her up bridal-style, one arm under her knees and the other around her waist. Youkai reached up and pushed her head back onto his shoulder.

"Tired?" he asked. Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Not all of us can be Mr. SuperYoukai," she growled. Youkai chuckled.

"SuperYoukai?" he asked confused. Kagome shrugged as he started walking again. The gentle thump that resounded through his body with each step translated into a gentle rocking for the miko in his arms.

"Forget it," Kagome murmured. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Promise you won't drop me?" She asked. She felt Youkai's head move against her hair as he nodded.

"I promise," he replied. Kagome mumbled something unintelligible as she gave it and slipped off into dreamland in Youkai's arms. Youkai kept a steady pace under the weight of the miko and the two packs over his arms, but he slowed down a bit to look down at the sleeping woman.

"Why do you do such things to me?" he murmured, staring at her as if her face would reveal the answer to him under enough scrutiny. Kagome seemed so pleasant, so nice, so…familiar. Youkai frowned and looked up. It couldn't be possible, she would tell him if they had known each other in the past. Unless, that past was the same past she didn't talk about…Youkai shook his head and willed away the unpleasant thought that he had been the one to cause Kagome such pain. Given the choice for such a revelation, he'd rather remain in the dark.


	15. Dream On

Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

Chapter 15

Dream On

"Do you feel me Kagome?" Kouga growled, sucking on her lower lip. Kagome kept her eyes clenched shut and didn't answer as Kouga's thrusts became harder. Kagome wrapped her arms around his shoulders and dug her fingernails into his back.

"Look at me," Kouga whispered, releasing her lip so he could speak. Kagome whimpered as he slowed down slightly, the fire in her lower body flaring at the loss. Kagome did her best to open her eyes and watch the lustful youkai above her. Kouga stared back at her, his eyes gleaming, as he withdrew and finally slammed himself to the hilt within her. Kagome's eyes and mouth flew open as the pressure snapped. She threw her head back and screamed, the sound muffled by Kouga's proud howl before he slumped on top of her.

Kagome gasped for breath as Kouga licked and suckled her neck out of her view. His fangs slid over his mark, drawing a few drops of crimson blood that he eagerly lapped up.

"Kagome," he muttered. Kagome's half-lidded eyes shot open again as Kouga's voice became choked with despair. Kagome opened and closed her mouth, trying to find the power to speak, as Kouga lifted his head to stare at her. His eyes had shifted to all-too familiar honey gold. Kagome felt warm tears begin to slide over her cheeks. "How could you?" Kouga asked, as his hair lightened to white, then silver. Kagome shook her head.

"Please, I didn't want to…" she pleaded. She reached for the man she loved, and her hand went right through his cheek as the hanyou above her turned to smoke. The same accusing question ran through her mind as he left her- again.

"INUYASHA!!" Kagome wailed.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Kagome's eyes snapped open, and she bolted out of bed. She stopped when she realized she wasn't in a forest clearing with her friends, or in Youkai's cave. She blinked and turned to see a stunned young man staring at her. Four bangs fell over either side of his face, and the rest of his black hair was pulling into a ponytail.

"Are you alright?" the man asked. Kagome nodded.

"Where am I?" she asked. The man bowed and smiled at her.

"You are in the home of my father Yoshi, headmaster of our village. I am his son Yoko," he offered. "You were brought here for rest upon the arrival of the youkai."

"Youkai?" Kagome asked, perking up. "He's here."

"Yes. He has gone to see the farmers now, and he expects to return soon, if you wish to wait for him," Yoko offered. Kagome bit her lip. She looked out the doorway of the rather large hut and looked for the fields. They weren't too far away, but it would take ten minutes or so to reach them. And there appeared to be several fields that Youkai had to visit.

"Actually…" Kagome said, drawing her head back in and glancing at Yoko. "I need your help." Yoko bowed again.

"I will do what I can. What can I do to assist you?" he asked.

"Do you know the monk Youkai visits when he comes here?' Kagome replied. Yoko nodded and smiled.

"I do indeed. The monk Toga is widely revered as one of the greatest monks of the times. He often gives powerful wards to travelers as protection. Why do you ask?" Kagome bit her lip. With a resume like that, telling poor Yoko that the monk was a fraud wasn't as easy as it had been a moment ago.

"I need to speak with him," Kagome said. "Could you get him for me?" Yoko nodded eagerly and smiled again.

"But of course. I shall be back shortly." Yoko stepped past her and jogged down the path into the rest of the village. Kagome watched him go. In her mind's ear, a shrill howl of loss and betrayal still rang. A pair of hurt, golden eyes still stared at her. A pair of claws dug into their palms, drawing blood.

Kagome grabbed the sides of her head and shook forcefully. She hated thinking about those dreams. The dreams varied in detail, but the main theme was always the same; if Inuyasha were alive somewhere out there, he wouldn't give a damn about her anymore.

Why would he? As far as Kagome knew, Kikyo was still alive. If she had died, Kagome was pretty sure that she'd get the rest of her soul back, and so far, there was nothing. With her undead predecessor alive and well - so to speak - why would Inuyasha want her? He had a beautiful, older, stronger woman he could have. Why risk Kouga's wrath for her?

She was ruined. She had been taken. She had a mate, and a powerful one that, in the end, had ultimately overpowered the hanyou and won her for himself. Kouga had taken her mental and physical innocence, and her spirit ripped to shreds as a direct result. She wouldn't be worth the trouble for Inuyasha to save now. Kikyo had been superior to her before, but now…

What did Kagome have to offer the hanyou if he was alive anyway? Certainly not her body; Kouga had that on a nightly basis. Not her life; She was bound to Kouga. Her unconditional love? Why would he want her love now? She had promised to always be beside him. She couldn't keep that promise now, she had a mate. In youkai terms, she was married. She had nothing to give now that was hers anymore. She belonged to Kouga is the most intimate of ways. No matter how different her dreams may have been, she was Kouga's.

Those dreams were wishful thinking, but they were also partly true. She had betrayed Inuyasha. That hurt in his eyes when he was her with Kouga haunted her ever since her first dream of the hanyou seeing what she had become. She had slept with his archrival within days of his death. She gave herself to him countless times over three years. She had had more sex then some people have in their entire lives. She was the lowest form of whore imaginable.

Kouga had seduced her, used her. He drove her to pleasure, sought his own from her, and howled his climax to the sky with her screaming in unison. And she had let it happen. She had allowed a man she hated, a man who had ripped her family and love from her, to make love to her. No. Making love was too gentle a term to use with what Kouga had did to her. What Kouga did was destroy her from the inside out. Kagome's dreams may have had some truth to them, but were for the most part a farce. Kagome's dream had her being saved from Kouga's lusts. That was never going to happen. Kagome wasn't worth saving anymore.


	16. Toga and Youkai

Broken Dreams

Chapter 16

Toga and Youkai

Kagome turned the ofuda over and looked the writing over again. Yoko had returned with so-called 'monk' Toga. Toga was fairly young, Kagome figured he must have been around her age. He had medium-length black hair tied into a ponytail at the back of the head and trailing down to between his shoulder blades. He had a pair of stern violet eyes that reminded Kagome eerily of Inuyasha's human form. His build wasn't all that dissimilar from the hanyou either, not overly muscular, but lean and strong nonetheless. If his hair had been a foot longer, Kagome would have sworn the monk was Inuyasha in human form. It was quite the shock to say the least.

"You've been a monk for a decade?" Kagome asked. Toga scowled.

"Yes, my father trained me from a very early age. My spiritual prowess is matched by few. Some say that with a little more training, the kami themselves will speak to me," he huffed. Kagome rolled her eyes. The guy had the arrogance to match Inuyasha's too. Her urge to break the sad news that the guy was a fraud was growing by the second. He carried himself highly, and seemed to look down his nose at everyone, herself included. Of course, being praised as one of the greatest monks who ever lived is bound to give you a big head.

"I see. So you're certain these wards work?" Kagome continued, looking up at him. Toga's eyes flared as the air around him electrified. Kagome might as well have declared gone and declared him a hack right then and there. It couldn't have hurt; Toga couldn't possibly look any angrier.

"I am positive," Toga growled. "No youkai can touch my wards and live. This particular ofuda is designed to purify and kill any youkai it touches." Kagome's lips began to curl up in a small smile.

"So how is it that Youkai can touch these wards and live?" she asked curiously. Toga sniffed and clasped his hands behind his back.

"That abomination could easily be purified if I willed it. Luckily, our village has need for his furs and wood. We have found a use for him, and I find no need to kill him, for the time at least. I have modified my ofuda to allow his youki to taint them and live. Besides, the ofuda Youkai takes from me are not meant to kill, rather to hide his youki," Toga muttered. Kagome didn't miss the hint of disgust that had crept into his voice as he spoke of Youkai. It made her a little mad to think this faker was disgusted by the man - relatively speaking - that had earned her trust and respect over the last week.

"You don't like Youkai, I take it?" Kagome asked dryly. Toga glared down at her place leaning against the wall.

"That creature is a freak," he sneered. "Youkai are only meant to hunt and kill. That…_thing, _is too weak to kill, and hides behind _human_ protection to prolong his disgusting life. If he's too pathetic to take life, then he isn't fit to…" Toga was cut off as Kagome jumped to her feet and slapped him across the face. Toga's head snapped to the side. His mouth snapped shut as his head whipped around to glare a pair of hellfire eyes at Kagome. His hand shot out and wrapped tightly around her wrist.

"You dare to strike me girl?" he hissed between his teeth. Kagome met his deadly gaze and glared her own right back.

"Youkai saved my life, and has done nothing but take care of me ever since I met him." Kagome snapped. "He's broken out of his youkai instincts and learned to live without becoming a killer. You should respect him for that." She pursed her lip and snatched her wrist from Toga's grasp.

"He kills," Toga said. "Where do you think he gets those furs from? He kills the small and insignificant, but he kills just the same. He's no better then any other youkai. You'd do well to learn this, girl," he chuckled darkly.

"Youkai takes care of me, he wouldn't hurt me," Kagome said sternly. Toga raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Are you so certain?" he asked. Kagome nodded.

"Yes," she replied. She stared up at Toga, defiant under his scrutiny, forcing the one small, doubtful voice in the back of her head to be silent.

"I am flattered that you think so highly of me," a voice from behind Toga droned. Kagome looked over the monk's shoulder as Youkai's cloaked profile filled the doorway of the hut. He stepped beside Toga and nodded down at Kagome before turning to face the sneering human behind him.

"Youkai," Toga growled.

"Toga," Youkai replied, bowing slightly. He sat down beside Kagome and started to open the sack of vegetables he had brought from the fields. Toga watched the two of them for a moment, a look of disgust on his face, before snorting and spinning of the balls of his feet and marching out of the hut.


	17. The Masks We Wear

Broken Dreams

Chapter 17

The Masks We Wear

Youkai stood at the top of the hill overlooking Toga's shrine. The ofuda casting their barrier over his cave were beginning to lose their powers. He needed more. He looked over his shoulder at the girl behind him, sitting in the shade of a cherry tree, watching the children play. Kagome.

Youkai stared for a moment at the girl in his care. It was only a few days over a week ago that he found her crumpled form lying in some bushes, bloodied and battered. He had taken her and cared for her. He leg had healed in time, and she would have full use of it within a week. Her arms and hands were alright as they were, provided she didn't strain them. Her lower chest and stomach had various small bruises and cuts, but they would also heal. Soon she would be fine and fully healed. Then she would leave him for her mate.

_It is what has always been planned, _Youkai told himself. He took the girl in to heal her. It was that simple. But, as much as Youkai tried to deny it, there was something. Kagome had been the strangest woman he had ever met. One moment she would be stern and stubborn, only to have her eyes tear and finally, her resolve break down. Her mood swings were rather puzzling; a puzzle that Youkai had been trying to solve. But he found that whenever he came close to discovering Kagome, his own past came into play. Youkai couldn't understand it.

He absentmindedly reached up and ran a claw over the steel frame of his hood. His mask. Kagome wore a mask too, although it wasn't quite so noticeable. A frightened little girl lay beneath her guise of a young, independent woman. Kagome's reason for hiding herself may have been numerous, and Youkai had no idea why she had hardened herself. All he knew is that whatever had caused her to be so cold was an event of terrible turmoil. Youkai knew all too well what kind of horror may have lay behind that mask. If it was anything like what lay beneath his own…

-Flashback-

Youkai groaned in pain and slowly opened his eyes. He looked up at the wood of a hut above his head. The questions came again, just as the had before. And as before, few could be answered. He pushed the torrent away and turned his head slightly.

"Are you awake?" a small voice asked from his side. Youkai looked for the source and found it in a small girl holding a small bowl of water. As his eyes found her, she shrank back slightly. Youkai opened his mouth and struggled to speak.

"W…water," he coughed dryly. The girl slowly nodded and began to creep towards him. Her hesitation was painfully obvious to Youkai. "What's wrong?" he asked. The girl gasped, his question catching her off-guard.

"I, I am sorry," she stammered. She quickly placed the bowl of water beside Youkai's head. Youkai watched as she spun and dashed from the room as quickly as her young legs would carry her. Youkai sat up slightly and picked up the bowl of water in his hands. He raised it to his lips, and glanced down, catching sight of his reflection. The wooden bowl fell from his hands as his hands shot up to feel the gnarled flesh beneath his fingertips. Youkai's mouth fell open in a low moan as he got his first glimpse of himself.

- - - - - - - - - -

Youkai had begged his caretaker Yoshi to let him hide himself. He knew from his form he was a human-like youkai, but his face was most certainly not humane. He spent his first few days in the back of Yoshi's hut, facing the wall, refusing to show himself to anyone. When he had been presented with the hood, he immediately tied it onto his head and hadn't removed it since. It was depressing to say the least, that he was afraid of his own face. But Youkai had good reason.

That face was the only one he remembered. He had no clue was he had looked like before the fire. He had even started to forget what his face looked like now. But what he did remember of it, he hid. Youkai didn't know what he was supposed to look like, and honestly, didn't care. You can't change the past, no matter how much you wish you could. There was no denying it; deep down, Youkai did yearn to know what he had looked like. Where he came from. If he had a family. Hell, Youkai would give anything just to know his true name. But in three years, various travelers had come and gone from the village. Youkai had talked to all of them. No one knew him. Not that he had much to go on. He had no clues at all to who he was. It seemed that the answers he sought were destined to be forever beyond his reach.

"What do you want?" Toga snapped. Youkai shook his head free of his thoughts and looked down at the glaring 'monk'. Toga favored him with his usual sneer. Youkai scowled inside his hood. Something about Toga had always been wrong to Youkai, although the monk's actions towards him might have helped that feeling. The monk was one of the few people Youkai didn't like. Most of the villagers had earned merely indifference from Youkai, but Toga came close to the border of hatred. Youkai only talked with the monk when he needed to, like now. Steeling himself, Youkai walked forward and entered Toga's hut under the narrow glare of the man who had banished him.


	18. His True Nature

Broken Dreams

Chapter 18

His True Nature

Youkai grimaced as the scent of Toga's herbs reached his nose. The incense Toga burnt was one of the most foul-smelling things he had ever known. The monk claimed that the herbs were meant to ward off evil spirits and cleanse his soul during meditation. But Youkai secretly suspected that Toga burned the herbs because he knew how much Youkai hated them.

"So?" Toga muttered, pouring himself a cup of tea at his shrine. "Why are you here?" he sipped his tea and glared at Youkai from over his shoulder. Youkai sighed. Toga always felt the need to make things difficult. The arrogant monk never made even the slightest attempt to welcome Youkai. He never had, and never would.

-Flashback-

Youkai sipped his stew and tried futilely to tune out the conversation going on in the front room of Yoshi's hut. The disfigured creature was sitting in the shadows of Yoshi's hut, his mask lying on his lap, head bowed just to make sure. It was that very face that had sparked the argument in the next room. Arguments like this one had raged in Yoshi's hut in the couple weeks since Youkai had been found. Youkai was used to it, sadly.

"Toga, don't go…" Yoshi protested. Youkai's head snapped up as the monk slammed open the door to his room and fixed a gaze that would scare the Kami themselves upon Youkai. Toga's lips curled in disgust and pointed a finger at Youkai as he tried to secure his mask around his face. Toga marched forward and snatched the mask from Youkai's hands and flung at over his shoulder, landing in the hands of a nervous headmaster Yoshi. Toga glared at Youkai as Youkai turned his head up to look back.

"This…_thing _has no business among civilized humans," Toga seethed. "The village is growing restless, the children speak of a monster hiding in your hut Yoshi. It is your duty to ensure the safety of your people, and you are striking fear into them by sheltering this abomination!" Yoshi gulped, but stood his ground.

"He is a creature of this earth, Toga. He is a man like you and I, he has the right to live! Surely a so-called monk like you would show respect for the sanctity of all life, youkai or ningen!"

"That thing is no man!" Toga snarled. "Kami only knows how much blood he has spilt! Would you welcome a murderer into your own home?!"

"He has done nothing wrong, you judge him on actions he has not even committed!"

"I'll go," Youkai said quietly. Toga opened his mouth to say more, but whipped his head around at Youkai's words. Yoshi gasped.

"I beg your pardon?" Yoshi asked. Youkai placed his bowl of stew on the floor and stood.

"I do not wish to cause discomfort here. You have shown me kindness, Yoshi, and I thank you for that. But if your people do not wish for me to remain here, then I shall not force them to tolerate me." Youkai gently took his mask from Yoshi's hands and tied it in the back of his head. That done, he bowed to Yoshi, who bowed back. "Again, thank you for letting me rest here, Yoshi," he said. He turned to Toga and bowed again. Toga didn't return the gesture.

"Leave." Toga growled. Youkai nodded and slipped out the door to Yoshi's hut.

-End Flashback-

"The wards you have given me have lost their power," Youkai said carefully. "I assume you can supply me with more?" Toga sipped his tea again and scowled.

"I assume you are not done hiding your filthy hide?" he replied sourly. Youkai sighed.

"I do not see what great sin there is in avoiding violence, Toga." He said. Toga sipped his tea again, then grabbed a few strips of paper from a clay jar in front of him and laid them out on the shrine. Reached for a quill and a jar of dark ink by the side of the shrine, he started to inscribe kanji on the papers.

"I trust you have traded enough compensation for these," Toga muttered, finishing his work. Youkai nodded, and Toga collected the 4 new ofudas together, and handed them to Youkai. Youkai felt his skin tingle as he felt the purity of the ofuda strike his youki.

"Thank you." Youkai murmured, turning to leave. Toga watched him leave, then turned back to his work.

"Master Toga?" A small voice asked. Toga didn't even look up from his scrolls as his young apprentice stepped from further within the hut. "Was that Youkai?" the apprentice asked.

"Do not fear him Genken," Toga coaxed. "He will dare not strike a human in my presence." Genken nodded.

"Is…what you told me about him true?" he asked. Toga smirked as he remembered what he had told the youth about Youkai. He was fairly sure that he was the only one who knew.

"Indeed it is Genken. My powers do not lie," Toga said, sipping the last of his tea.

"So…he truly doesn't know?" Genken asked in surprised. Toga chuckled.

"If Youkai himself is too dense to discover his true nature, it is not my business to tell him."


	19. Kouga's Message and Kagome's Choice

Broken Dreams

Chapter 19

Kouga's Message and Kagome's Choice

"Are you ready to go?' Kagome asked. Youkai looked over the supplies he had stocked in the packs and nodded. It was late day, and the sun had started to set in the valley.

"Yes. Are you well rested?" he replied. Kagome nodded. "Very well then. I can't carry all the packs, so if you…"

"Kagome!" Kagome looked up from her conversation with Youkai as Yoshi ran to her, a small bird perched on his shoulder. A crinkled piece of parchment was clasped in his hand. Yoshi stopped in front of Kagome and held out the note. Kagome frowned and took it from him, smoothing it out to read it.

"What is it Yoshi?" Youkai asked, standing up. Yoshi bowed to Youkai, who returned the gesture.

"A message for your companion Youkai, from a man called…"

"Kouga," Kagome hissed. Youkai looked at her and Kagome angrily threw the letter to the ground. She walked to the shade of a tree and sat down, her head down and her knees curled up to her chest. Youkai gave Yoshi an odd look, to which Yoshi responded with a shrug. Youkai set down the pack he had started to pick up and walked over to Kagome, sitting beside her. Youkai sniffed and frowned as the scent of tears reached his nose.

"Kagome, are you alright?" he asked, reaching for her.

"Bastard," Kagome growled. Youkai snapped his hand back.

"Kagome? I'm sorry, what did I…"

"Not you, Kouga!" Kagome snapped. Youkai cocked his head.

"What did this Kouga ever do Kagome?" Youkai asked. Kagome lifted her head and glared at some unseen foe through her tears.

"He's my…_mate_," Kagome muttered angrily, spitting at the last word. Youkai lowered his own head.

"Oh…I see," he said softly. He looked up again. "So he's the one…that…"

"Yeah, on a nightly basis." Kagome sneered. Youkai gasped. Kagome had told him some time ago that she was mated against her will, but a nightly basis? No wonder Kagome grew so cold at the mention of Kouga. If Youkai were in her position, he wouldn't be much better.

"He is coming here," Yoshi muttered. Kagome and Youkai looked up. Judging from the look of his face, Yoshi has overheard. "He asks that you remain here while he comes for you." Kagome's shoulders slumped as her head fell forward yet again.

"Fine," she murmured. Youkai frowned.

"Kagome, you're going back to him?" he asked in surprise. Kagome shrugged.

"What else can I do? He's my mate Youkai. I die he dies. And he can sniff me out. Not to mention that he has my friends with him. Youkai, there's nothing I can do against him," she explained. "I'll stay here.

"But Kagome!" Youkai protested. Kagome shook her head.

"But nothing," Kagome leaned over and gave Youkai a small hug. "Youkai, thank you for taking care of me. Goodbye." Youkai pulled out of the embrace and looked down.

"Are you sure Kagome?" Youkai asked. Kagome nodded. Yoshi sighed and placed a hand on Youkai's shoulder.

"I promise you, I will do everything in my power to ensure she is safe as long as she is in our village," he whispered to Youkai. Youkai whispered a thank you, and with a last look at Kagome, turned to pick up his packs, Yoshi at his side.

Kagome pulled her knees back and up and watched as Youkai gathered his pack, leaving hers against the tree at the edge of the village. She hung her head and felt another bout of tears come upon her.

"Crying solves nothing," a voice above her said. Kagome looked up, expecting to see Yoshi, and frowned.

"What do you want?" she snorted. Toga looked down at her for a moment before continuing.

"I have heard that your rather…lustful mate is coming for you. You are afraid."

"What was your first clue?" Kagome chuckled darkly. "Of course I'm afraid of Kouga."

"Not of him. You're just afraid of yourself," Toga said. Kagome looked up.

"Huh?"

"You hate him, and yet you give yourself to him. Why?"

"I don't have a choice. If I refuse…"

"If you truly hated him, you would never submit, no matter what he does. I thought you were a fool before, but I see now you are a whore." Kagome glared at him, but Toga wasn't finished. "You can be safe, but you choose to stay with him. What would happen if you left? He cannot kill you. What can he do?"

"He'll kill my friends. He'll kill me. Kouga has all the power," Kagome replied.

"True friends would try and find some way to help you. Have these friends done anything to help? I doubt it. And remember, the mating mark goes both ways, Kagome. Kouga cannot harm you just as you cannot harm him. And unlike him, Kagome, you seem all too willing to die. Kouga has power in your friends, that's true. But when it comes to true power over you, Kagome, he has only the power you allow him to have." Toga reached into his robes and tossed something to Kagome's feet. A small bundle wrapped in cloth. Kagome stared down at it for a moment before looking back up at Toga.

"You can escape Kagome, if you want to. But if you stay here, you'll throw away what may be your one chance for freedom. Stop being the scared little girl. It's time you started being the miko." And with that, Toga turned and walked away in the falling dusk. Kagome lowered her eyes to Toga's gift and reached down, taking one end of the bundle and lifting it in the air. A small quiver of arrows and a short bow fell to the ground. Kagome looked back and forth between the weapons and the forest for a moment, then sighed and reached for the bow.


	20. Role Reversal

Broken Dreams

Chapter 20

Role Reversal

_"Why so glum? You knew it was going to happen." _Youkai shook his head clear and kept trudging through the darkening forest. It had been an hour, he was almost home. Yet that same troubling thought kept racing through his head.

"I know, I know." Youkai muttered. Kagome was going to be reunited with her mate. He had known it was going to happen over a week ago. The mating mark was one of the strongest bonds in existence, a magical force meant to have beloved mates follow one another in death so they would never be parted. Somehow, Kouga had twisted a symbol of love into a symbol of lust. The mating mark was supposed to be sacred.

_"It's not that Kouga that frustrates you is it?" _Youkai's thoughts mocked. Youkai growled. He was simply supposed to heal Kagome, and get her back to her mate. He wasn't meant to like the girl. But something about Kagome had entangled him. Ever since he first saw her, the seed of something new had been dug under Youkai's skin, and every second made the seed grow stronger.

_"She knew you, didn't she? She'd remember you." _Youkai missed his step and stumbled, dropping the packs and putting his hand on a tree to steady him. It was something that happened more often when Kagome was around; memories. That girl made him remember. Why? What possible connection could there be? She didn't know him. He didn't know her. He didn't know anyone…except…

Youkai's eyes bulged as his shoulder flared in a flash of pain. Youkai screamed and fell to his knees. Again. Every time he remembered something…the pain…

_Flash…_

_"You will be mine someday. I don't care how long it takes…"_

_Flash_

_"You truly think you can control him? Even you aren't that strong!"_

_"He may not be mine to control, but he will be mine to command, wench. He will learn to serve me…"_

_Flash_

_"These will never heal, you fool!" A red-hot knife was thrust into Youkai's sight. "Do you understand what will happen if you continue to defy me? DO YOU? Do you want to be a freak?_

Youkai gritted his teeth and gasped as another bolt of pain shot through his shoulder. It was something that happened occasionally, even more when Kagome was around. Vague memories, flashes of words that came to Youkai. Only the briefest glimpses of faces, blurry and unrecognizable, but they came. And when they did, that exact same pain came.

Youkai reached up and rubbed his shoulder as the memories faded once again, into parts of his mind that he couldn't access. The pain faded, and Youkai shakily stood up. He hated it. Even remembering little things that those few voices hurt like hell. Remember completely? It might very well kill him. Given that choice, Youkai would rather forget.

A savage shriek from deep within the forest caught Youkai's attention. He climbed to his feet and dug his four-fingered claw into the bark of the tree. A low thump came from behind him, and Youkai looked over a his shoulder.

A jet black neko-youkai circled him, it's fangs glowing in the moonlight. Youkai winced and looked his opponent over. This one wasn't about to go on it's way. This youkai had come to fight. It's yellow eyes flashes, and it let loose another shriek into the forest. It turned, and Youkai gasped at the starburst-shaped scar on the creature's hind leg. The fur around the scar had been burnt away. There was only one type of power that Youkai knew about that could scar like that.

"Miko power." He whispered. When Kagome had been attacked…with a third snarl, the youkai leapt and knocked Youkai to the ground. The creature didn't waste any time after that; it lowered it's fangs right towards Youkai's neck.

Youkai grunt and grabbed either of the youkai's fangs and pushed the head away. Yellow eyes flashed again as the creature bit down. Youkai jerked his hand back as streams of blood ran down his hand. Aiming a punch, Youkai landed a hit and knocked the creature back, ruby-red blood running from it's mouth. Youkai would have killed, since running wasn't an option this time; this youkai had come to vengeance. But that bout of memories had zapped his strength. Youkai wasn't walking away from this fight.

Youkai climbed to his feet and stumbled forward a few steps before a pair of sharp claws dug into his shoulders, and a hard head hit him in the back, knocking him onto his chest. The claws dug in and raked down Youkai's back, cloth and flesh ripping to shreds. Youkai screamed as the youkai above him lowered it's head to his. It breathed on the back of Youkai's head as it's fangs came to rest of the tender flesh of his throat again.

A flash of light burst out of nowhere above Youkai's head, and the claws in his back snapped away. Youkai winced and raised his head. A purity arrow glowing like some sort of shining beacon in her bow, Kagome took aim and fired again. Youkai didn't see this arrow strike. But he heard it. The youkai cried again as Kagome's arrow hit it right between the eyes. Kagome took a third arrow, and fired again. There was no scream of pain this time. Just a thump as the creature fell to the ground.

"Kagome?" Youkai gasped, climbing to his feet. Kagome dropped her weapon and ran to his side. Youkai lost his strength and collapsed, landing in Kagome's arms. His head fell onto her shoulder, and Kagome gasped. A hand gingerly touch his back, and Youkai hissed as pain erupted once again.

"Youkai, where's the cave?" Kagome asked, pulling back. Youkai slowly lifted his head and faced a pair of concerned brown eyes.

"Kagome, your mate…" He said weakly. Kagome bit her lip.

"I'll explain later, where the cave? We need to get your wounds cleaned." Kagome replied.

"I'll be fine." Youkai said, shaking his head.

"Youkai, you took care of me for over a week, it's my turn to take of you. Now where's the cave?" Kagome insisted. Youkai turned and looked around, pointing to a place on the mountain.

"There." He said. Kagome nodded and pulled his arm over his shoulders, resting his weight on her. The bow and the packs forgotten, the two limped towards Youkai's cave.

**So if Youkai is about to be unmasked, does this mean that the story is almost over? Yeah right! I figure we're maybe halfway done. I've still got to kill off Kouga and Naraku here! **


	21. Youkai's Secret

Broken Dreams

**This chapter just poured out of me. Well, early update guys!**

Chapter 21

Youkai's Secret

"Hold still." Kagome warned. Youkai nodded, and Kagome leaned the bowl in her hands forward, and poured a small stream of hot water down Youkai's back. Youkai's head reared back with a growl as the water scorched it's way down his back and into the various lacerations the neko-youkai had gouged.

"More." Youkai gasped. Kagome bit her lip, but nodded, and poured the water again. Youkai's back was practically a sea of flesh and blood stripes. Twin trails, three claw marks each, ran down his back, dried blood smearing on the edges. Had the wound been on a human, Kagome doubted they would have lived. As Youkai's back grew red and raw from the blood and water, Kagome reached down and picked up a roll of bandages.

"Why did you come back?" Youkai asked suddenly. Kagome froze and the bandages fell from her hand. She cursed under her breath and bent down to pick them up again. "Well?"

"Toga talked to me." Kagome said softly. Youkai turned slightly to look at the miko over his shoulder. His cloak was in shreds along his back, and he had torn the entire back of so Kagome could clean his wounds. His cloak was more of a tunic now, with only his mask and the front of his cloak still in place. With the cloak torn, Kagome could see a makeshift pair of baggy hakama hanging from around his legs.

"He said a few things that made me think." Kagome continued. "I…I'm not going back to Kouga." Youkai pondered her words and nodded after a moment.

"So why did you come back to me then?" He asked. Kagome froze as the bandages wound a third of the way up Youkai's torso.

"I…I'm not sure." Kagome stammered. She actually wasn't sure. All she knew was that when she picked up the bow Toga had given her, her first thought was to find Youkai. "I guess…I wanted to say goodbye. You've been a good friend, and I didn't get to say it when you left the village." Youkai grunted as Kagome started bandaging again.

"Oh." He said. "Where are you going you going to go?" He asked. Kagome shrugged.

"I'm not sure. I've never really had to travel around by myself before…I guess I'll just try to keep tracking down the Shikon-no-Kakera and trying to unite the jewel." She replied. Youkai nodded.

"Good luck. I sincerely hope that you stay safe from Kouga." He said. Kagome smiled.

"Thank you. And good luck with your trading." She said. The bandaging was almost done. Kagome started to wind the bandages around the shoulder, and stopped as a pulse started under her hand. It wasn't like a heartbeat. It was like a low hum, a sort of warmth. Kagome's senses tingled, earning a gasp from the miko. No…it couldn't be…

"Youkai." Kagome started. "What's wrong with your shoulder." Kagome reached up and gently probed around the muscle with two fingers, trying to pinpoint the all-too familiar feeling. Youkai frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Kagome fingered an area near the top of one of the cuts, and stopped. There, right in the path of the right-most cut, the humming was strongest.

"There's something warm here." Kagome murmured. Youkai reached back and held out his hand.

"Show me." Kagome took Youkai's hand and placed it directly above the humming sensation. Youkai sighed. "Remember how I told you sometimes I start to remember, then forget again? Well, when that happens, that place…hurts." Kagome peered into the wound.

"I think there's something there, but I can't…" Youkai took his hand back and with a snap, broke off one of his nails, holding it out to Kagome.

"Here, whatever it is, get it out. I don't want it infected." He said. Kagome nodded and carefully took the nail from Youkai. Reaching into the cut, Kagome carefully probed with the makeshift scalpel until she felt something move. Flicking out the nail, something hard and small flew out of the cut and landed on the floor at Kagome's feet. Kagome gasped and picked up the small object.

"Youkai…" She whispered. Then, Youkai cried out, and Kagome jumped back. Youkai started to writhe and shake violently as the blood started to leak into his bandages. He fell out of the bed onto his back and kept shaking. Then, his muscles went stiff, and Youkai let out a piercing scream before collapsing. Kagome carefully knelt down and shook Youkai by the shoulder. But it was no use. Youkai was out cold. Kagome bit her lip and stared at her former caretaker for a moment, before her gaze slid to her hand, and the tiny purple Jewel Shard that had been imbedded in Youkai's back.

**It's time…next chapter…Youkai…is unmasked…**

**CAN YOU FEEL THE TENSION!**


	22. Unmasked

Broken Dreams

**If you thot my LAST chapter was tense, this one is a million times worse! But on the bright side, it's the chappie you've been waiting for!**

**Thanks to 'The Violent Tomboy' and 'dog-demon-emiko' for pointing out the Shikon-no-Camera error. I meant Shikon-no-Kakera. The error has been fixed now.**

**A chapter dedication to 'Orlando-Inuyasha-Lover', my 300th reviewer on FF. 22 **

Unmasked

Kagome sighed and kept stirring the stew. It seemed that in the end, she was repaying Youkai for all his kindness; he had taken care of her through her injuries, which were all mostly healed now except for a few sore places. Now it was her turn to take care of Youkai. He had been asleep for what Kagome figured had been an hour after his seizure.

Kagome mentally cursed herself. Youkai had had a jewel shard in his shoulder the entire time. With Toga's so-called ofudas masking the mystical energies within the cave…although at least now Kagome had a good idea as to how those phony wards got their powers.

She wondered if Youkai even knew about the shard. He had mentioned feeling pain when he started to remember, but he hadn't mentioned the shard. He hadn't even cared about her shards when he had found them. He had never even mentioned that pain until she had returned. Youkai had seemed clueless as to his situation.

He wasn't like the other youkai who used shards of the Jewel. Most were bloodthirsty, power hungry monsters who slaughtered villages. Youkai was nothing like them. Why would he need a jewel shard in the first place? He didn't fight, so he didn't need the tainted strength it gave its user. It didn't make any sense.

Kagome had seen the jewel shards be used for almost anything. They had revived the dead, saved the near-dead, enchanted all sorts of ordinary objects, and gave purity powers to those who knew how to use them correctly- Naraku's barriers came to mind. Despite his foul youki, the shards gave him the power to project barriers. But Youkai didn't do any of those things. All he did with the shard was enchant ofuda, and he seemed unaware of doing it.

Whenever he had been out of the cave, he had been carrying Kagome's pack. The only time he had put it down was when he left the village. She wouldn't have noticed if he had taken his mask off then. Kagome hadn't been able to tell the shards in her pack apart from the shard in Youkai's back. She hadn't even taken the time to pay attention to the hum of the shards. As long as she had sensed the shards near her pack, she had brushed off the feeling.

Kagome reached to the other, smaller fire she had built from the spare firewood in the cave and removed the cloth that was soaking in the pot of water. Walking over to the motionless form on the bed, Kagome dabbed the cloth over Youkai's chest. Once the Shikon-no-Kakera had been removed from his back, Youkai's chest had cracked into all sorts of wounds. He was bare from the waist up, with only his wire and cloth mask and his dirty gray hakama protecting him.

Kagome dabbed a cut on his collarbone and frowned. Youkai's mouth was cut, and blood was dribbling down the side of his face. Kagome frowned and washed away what she could. Then her fingers trailed up over the coarse cloth of Youkai's mask before going further up to the wire mesh that made up the majority of the mask's front. She wasn't even sure if Youkai was really still alive, except for the rise and fall of his chest. And he was probably going to be out of it for a while yet. And besides, if he was hurt on his face, it wouldn't hurt to make sure he was okay.

Kagome shrugged. What Youkai didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Kagome carefully turned Youkai on to his side and reached to the back of his head where the mask was securely tied in place. Kagome undid the ties and pulled out the string, the back flaps of the mask going limp. Kagome put the string down in her lap and reached around Youkai's neck to the bottom of the mask, and got a grip. Taking a breath, Kagome pulled back, the mask coming off the top of the head. Kagome set the mask in her lap as well, and turned Youkai back on his back. Then she got a good look at his face.

Her eyes doubling in size in the space of a half-second, Kagome got to her feet like a bat out of hell. The mask hit the floor of the cave with a smack as Kagome stared at the true face of the man who had saved her life. She stumbled back into the cave wall and gasped for breath, a hand slapping up to clutch her chest.

"N…no…" She wheezed. "It's impossible." Kagome gulped down the lump in her throat and fell to her knees. With a loud cough, Kagome vomited onto the cave floor before falling into the throes of darkness, Youkai's face burned into her mind's eye. It couldn't be…it couldn't…it couldn't be him…the one man who had lurked in the back of Kagome's mind for years…

**I'M SORRY! Please forgive me! I said Youkai would be unmasked, I never said I'd tell you who he is! I'm so so so so so sorry for leading you on like that, really, I am. But I feel that to correctly convey the emotions Kagome is about to go through with Youkai's identity, I'll need a full chapter. Again, please don't kill me. I think this is the worst cliffy I've ever done. I honestly do feel bad about this…**

**But there is hope! Next chapter, no tricks, no puns, no misleading. Next chapter, I really do reveal Youkai's identity! So please hold off the maiming until then, I beg you!**


	23. Reunion at Long Last

Broken Dreams

**I was gonna wait till Sunday to post this, maybe even Monday. But you've suffered enough, so here it is. You guys are getting a chapter 2 days ahead of schedule, so you'd better be grateful and review! This story gets about 100 plus hits a chappie, and only 17-20 reviews a chappie. So what happened to you other 80 ppl, hm?**

**Shout out to Koumori-hana for being my 10th reviewers on MM-Org. Also, a reviewer accused me of breaking their dreams by not revealing who Youkai is just yet. Well I kindly ask that reviewer to take a look at the name of this story. Lol, kidding. Now I've been so cruel for so long, hiding Youkai's identity. But now, at long last, I reveal who he is! Read on for the moment you've been waiting for!**

Chapter 22

Reunion at Long Last

Kagome groaned and reached up to rub her head. She sat up and noticed Youkai stirring the pot of stew. She yawned, and gasped as her memories flooded back to her. Youkai's face…

"Y…Youkai?" Kagome asked. Youkai didn't answer. "Youkai?" Kagome asked again. Youkai turned around and handed her a bowl of warm stew.

"Here." He muttered, turning his back to her again. Kagome took the stew and placed it beside her and put a hand on Youkai's shoulder.

"Youkai…when you woke up…" Kagome bit off the end of her sentence. Youkai would have woken up with his mask off. It wouldn't take much to figure out what had happened.

"It's ok Kagome. Just forget about it." Youkai said, not even looking at her. Kagome cocked her head. Forget about what she had seen? That was the last thing on Kagome's mind.

"But Youkai…your face." Kagome gasped and stopped as Youkai punched the ground angrily.

"I know, alright? I'm sorry you had to see that, so just pretend it never happened, okay?" He growled. Kagome stood up pulled Youkai to his feet.

"No. I saw what I saw Youkai." Kagome said firmly. Youkai stared at her for a moment before hanging his head.

"I'm sorry Kagome." He mumbled. Kagome bit her lip, but reached a hand up to the back of Youkai's head. The second her hand made contact, Youkai's head snapped up. "What are you doing?" He whispered.

"Trust me." Kagome replied. Youkai caught her hand as it moved up again.

"But Kagome…" Youkai protested. Kagome shook her head.

"Youkai, I'm not afraid. Trust me." Youkai growled as his drooped to his chest again.

I don't want you to see." He murmured softly. Kagome nodded, but reached back up to his head again. When her fingertips brushed against the bindings, Youkai tensed, but didn't make a move to stop her. Taking a breath, Kagome slowly pulled out the thread and pulled Youkai's mask of his head. Gasping at a sight that only confirmed her earlier suspicions, Youkai's head snapped away.

"I told you…" He groaned. Kagome grabbed Youkai's chin and jerked his head back to stare her in the eye. Youkai stared back in confusion as Kagome slowly reached up to touch him. Her fingers trailed up over a fresh cut on his lip to the flesh of Youkai's cheek. The whole of his face was lightly tanned with slashes of light-pink scars here and there. Kagome gently ran her hand over his cheek, and Youkai stared as she continued her exploring of something that had earned him nothing but fear his entire life.

Kagome hand came up to his left eye, wide with awe. Then her fingers crossed over his nose to his right eye. A red scar ran over the lid to the forehead, where it went up at a right angle. The eye was only open halfway, but it too held the same look of confusion. Youkai blinked as Kagome went up further.

The top of his head was bare in a curve starting from above Youkai's left eye and going around his head to his right ear. The skin was completely bare and light-pink from lack of exposure to the sun when there had been hair. The rest of Youkai's head was covered in a tangled mess of dirty-grey hair that went down the back of his head and down between his shoulder blades.

Kagome couldn't believe it. It was impossible. She knew that the man she saw before her couldn't possibly be who she thought it was. But the more she stared, the more she knew it was him. She reached down and tightly grasped Youkai's 3-fingered claw in her hand.

"You really don't remember me?" She choked, tears coming to her eyes. Youkai shook his head.

"I told you, when I remembered before, my shoulder…" He explained. Kagome nodded and sniffed back the oncoming tears. They weren't tears of sorrow, or tears of loss. These, for the first time in over three years, were tears of happiness. Kagome reached up behind her neck and gently unclasped the locket that had rested against her heart for years, even before Kouga mated with her.

"Please…you have to…" Kagome pleaded. Kagome gently clicked the locket open and pressed it into Youkai's palm. Youkai looked down at their hands and gently pulled away to stare at the small piece of jewelry Kagome had given him. A picture of a much younger Kagome glared out from the right picture as Youkai gingerly took a claw and pushed the locket open. But the other picture…Youkai didn't have a clue what the pictures were. But that second picture…

A white haired, golden eyes man was snarling at who ever had taken the picture. A pair of small fangs hanging from the corners of his mouth indicated he was either youkai or hanyou. Youkai stared at the picture with an open mouth, as his other hand came up to the bare part of his head. What he was searching for couldn't be seen in that picture. But something in his mind's eye guided his hand to the bare spot on his head, and the wide, crescent-shaped scar that had been cut into his skull. Youkai's hand began to shake as his hand traveled across his head to the part that still had hair, and dug down into the scalp until there was movement.

A small, furry object twitched under Youkai's claws. Youkai gasped and dropped the locket onto the floor as his hand clasped over his hair. Youkai's jaw began to work, trying to form words as he slowly withdrew his hand. There, where his hand had been, a small, fuzzy, triangular ear twitched under the hair after being pinned down under the mask for over two years. Youkai's gaze bored into his hand before traveling back up to face Kagome.

"Kagome…" Youkai's whispered. Kagome felt warm tears stream down her face as an air of recognition came into Youkai's eyes. With a sob, Kagome threw herself into his arms and squeezed for dear life. And to her joy, Youkai squeezed back. Kagome sniffed and murmured the one name that had been on the tip of her tongue for years.

"Inuyasha…"


	24. Losing

Broken Dreams

**Whoa! 30 reviews! That's the most I've ever gotten for a single chapter! This chappie is dedicated to everyone who reviewed last time!**

Chapter 24

Losing

If Kagome had had her way, she would have never let go. But after a moment, Inuyasha pulled his arms from around her and stared at her in confusion. His one good eye blinked rapidly as Kagome sniffed back more tears.

"You remember…" Kagome whispered. Inuyasha kept staring.

"Kagome…I…think so." He muttered. Kagome hugged him again. This time, Inuyasha's arms fell limp at his sides.

"You remember me, right?" She asked. Inuyasha slowly nodded against her shoulder.

"I think so, but…I remember who you are, but…it's hazy…" Inuyasha murmured. "There's some things I can't recall, but…" Inuyasha gasped suddenly and pulled away from Kagome. "Oh god…Kouga…" Kagome let him pull away as a look of horror crossed his face. Youkai's memories and Inuyasha's returning ones must have put two and two together.

"I know, I know…" Kagome replied, looking down at her wringing hands. Inuyasha gulped and bit his lip.

"Can…can I see?" He asked. Kagome nodded and reached up to slowly pull her hair back, revealing the bruise and teeth marks Kouga had ingrained on her neck. Inuyasha leaned forward and gently brushed a hand over the mark. His close scrutiny of her neck gave Kagome a better look at his head. She sighed and reached up to inspect the crescent shaped scar on the bald spot.

"Your ear…" She said to herself. Inuyasha looked at her out of the corner of his eye as Kagome's hand went back to the ear he still had. Kagome gently touched the tip, and smiled slightly as it flicked away. The small white fuzz had grown gray and stiff from three years of the mask. While he was Youkai, Inuyasha must not have cared much about his hair. Some things never changed.

"I'm sorry." Inuyasha said suddenly. Kagome frowned as Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her again in a gentle hug.

"For what?" Kagome asked, confused. Inuyasha whimpered slightly-much to Kagome's surprise.

"I lost. I'm sorry." Inuyasha explained. Realization came to Kagome, and she reached up to rub his back soothingly.

"It's okay. You fought as hard as you could, you did what you could have."

"I could have won. I didn't take him seriously. I…I thought he was weak." Inuyasha insisted. He pulled away again and sighed heavily. "I…I let him win, because I didn't try hard enough." He looked up at Kagome, sadness leaking into his eyes, "I'm sorry. Forgive me."

Kagome quite literally didn't believe what she was hearing. Inuyasha had gotten himself killed- well, almost- trying to protect her from Kouga. She, on the other hand, had given herself to the wolf more times then she dared count. And he was asking her to forgive him. Kagome smiled wryly and grabbed Inuyasha's hand, squeezing tightly.

"There's nothing to forgive." She assured him. Inuyasha looked down at their hands, then back to the side.

"He's still on his way here. If you want to get out of the valley before he gets close enough to smell you. I can guide you." Inuyasha said. Kagome's jaw dropped and his clasped his hands together and waited for an answer.

"Have you lost it? I'm not going anywhere!" Kagome shouted. Inuyasha's head snapped up.

"But Kagome…if you stay here, Kouga will find you. He mated you, Kagome, and despite how he treats you, he does love you. He won't stop until he finds you."

"I don't care." Kagome said firmly. "I lost you once, I don't plan to lose you again."

"If he finds us, he'll kill me." Inuyasha whispered. "Look at me. I'm weaker then when I fought him, I hide from fights, I haven't really fought to kill in years. I don't even have Tetsusaiga anymore. Kagome, if Kouga comes for you, I can't stop him." Kagome smiled at his pessimistic attitude.

"What happened to the Inuyasha that was always claiming to kick the wimpy wolf's ass?" She asked coyly.

"He got a dose of reality." Inuyasha said harshly, startling her. "I was in my prime, and I lost. What am I supposed to do now?"

"You could leave." Kagome said. Inuyasha snorted.

"And go where? Go back to running from my enemies? Either way I hide. I didn't exactly have a home before I went after the Shikon-no-Tama, Kagome. Here…I belong." He said. Kagome shot to her feet.

"No Inuyasha, this isn't where you belong. You're a fighter. You fought Naraku, you fought Kouga, you've killed legendary youkai even. You're not like this, you're meant to fight."

"Kill or be killed then? I think it's a little late for that." Inuyasha laughed darkly. "I fight and kill until I meet something that kills me? Look where that got me; alone, homeless, and weak. Kagome, what I have now…it's not much, but I have a home now. I…I _do_ belong. I can't leave this place." Kagome shook her head.

"If you don't leave, then I don't leave. It's that simple." She insisted. Inuyasha looked down at his feet for a moment, then got up and faced Kagome silently for a moment before pulling her into another embrace.

"I missed you." He said quietly. Kagome smiled and hugged back.

"Me too. And I don't place on missing you again." Over her shoulder. Inuyasha grimaced and furrowed his brow. Regardless of what Kagome said or did, Kouga was coming. Inuyasha had gotten away with his life last time they fought- although he hadn't a clue how. This time, there wasn't going to be any miracle save. Kouga had taken Kagome as a mate. And he wasn't going to stop until he found her.


	25. Seeking the Hanyou

Broken Dreams

**I admit Inuyasha is really, really OC right now. But hey, he's been scared mentally and physically, striped of his memories, and was defeated by his biggest rival. Being as proud as he is, Inuyasha is bound to be effected. To quote our fav hanyou himself from last chapter; He got a dose of reality. Inuyasha's been taken down a major peg. But then, I suppose being killed would do that to ya huh?**

Chapter 25

Seeking the Hanyou

Kagome groaned and slowly blinked her eyes open. She didn't hear the fire burning, Inuyasha must still be asleep. He had remained adamant that she had to leave soon. Kagome wasn't ready to leave him right when he had remembered her. She still had no idea how he had survived that fateful fall three years ago. And that site was miles from the valley. Inuyasha claimed he had been living like this for two and a half years. Something more had happened in the six-month period, something to turn Inuyasha into Youkai. Kagome just had no clue what.

His attitude was what surprised Kagome the most. He had been a little annoying before, but Kagome would have preferred the complaints and insults over what he had become. He seemed to want to crawl away and hide from the world. Inuyasha had been secretive before, but now…he also didn't seem to be thinking straight either. Even if Kagome left, Kouga would look for her. He'd find the cave. And there wasn't a chance in hell he'd leave Inuyasha alive.

Kagome didn't want to stay here; she wanted Inuyasha to come with her. Not only to avoid Kouga, but to get some semblance of what they had lost three years ago. Granted, at twenty years old and with no contact with her family, it was impossible to every fully regain everything Kouga had destroyed, but she wanted something back. But Inuyasha seemed content with the life he had now. Kagome had to admit, after a lifetime of nearly getting killed day in and day out, a nice, quiet life would be nice. But she couldn't see Inuyasha living like this for long.

Youkai, Kagome would see living like this. But Inuyasha? He was an adventurer, he wasn't meant for this sort of life. Once the initial shock of his life had worn off, and Kagome had come to accept that she wasn't having another of her warped dreams, she had been contemplating their entire situation. She honestly wished Kouga would just drop dead, and they could all go back to the group they had years ago. But she had been wishing for that for a long time.

With Inuyasha against leaving or fighting, that scenario wasn't likely. Kagome wanted him to come with her. She wanted to be with him again. She really did want to leave the valley with him, but if he wasn't going to leave, she was staying with him. She just had to make him understand that. Her feelings for the hanyou weren't quite as strong as they once were, but they were there, and regaining strength. She didn't want to walk away from this.

Kagome rolled over and stood up, intending to wake the hanyou and talk things out with him. Then she noticed the cave. The ofuda at the entrance were gone. The fire wasn't even smoldering, and the bedding had been carefully made. The two packs near the bed were gone. The small vegetable alcove was empty.

"He's gone…" Kagome murmured. Anger filled her at the thought. If Inuyasha didn't want to fight, she'd teach him by kicking his ass when she found him. Concentrating, Kagome felt the faint, distant hum of a youki, and the faint touch of Shikon magic that still remained in it. Slinging her quiver of arrowed over her shoulder, Kagome grabbed her pack and bow and marched out of the cave. If Inuyasha was going to leave, it was going to be with her.

- - - - - - - - - -

A young girl walked up to the shoji in the castle, waiting as it slid back to allow entry. She walked forward and stood a few feet before her lord. The lord of the castle cast her a glance out of the corner of his eye before looking down at the clay pot before him. A low purple glow emanated from the pot, which was filled with blood and various youkai parts.

"Excuse me master…" The girl said softly. The lord glared at her.

"I said I do not wish to be disturbed." He growled. The girl nodded slightly. The pot of youkai parts in the hands of the lord shimmered slightly as the purple glow intensified. The lord reached into the pot with two slender fingers and removed a pherical purple orb, half-complete with Shikon shards. Blood dripped of it as the lord tucked it into his kimono.

"Forgive me master, but I found something you will want to see." The girl held up a small, round mirror. The lord peered into it, and gasped as the image of a scarred hanyou walking in the forest appeared in the mirror.

"Inuyasha…" Naraku whispered. Naraku chuckled. "It's been over two years. I was worried you truly had died this time." Kanna looked up at her master as he smiled cruelly.

"Shall I send Kagura to retrieve him master?" she asked. Naraku shook his head and turned his attention back to the clay pot. The clay cracked and shattered in a flash of light.

"No." Naraku sneered. A small yellow orb hovered above the broken pot and through the wall behind him. "This is just what I've been waiting for. I think it's time I…tested him." As Naraku words, the wall behind him lit up blood red. Naraku turned and gazed at the outline of a man meditating behind the wall, his head bowed and eyes closed.

"It is time for you to arise…Raijin." Naraku chuckled. At the mention of his name, Raijin's yellow eyes snapped open. Naraku's chuckle grew into full laughter. And Raijin raised his head to face his master.

**Raijin; a Japanese god of thunder. Gee, what powers could this incarnation possibly have huh? Anyhow, Raijin is depicted in the Shinto religion as a muscular man with a pair of drums, and was a youkai that opposed the gods until he was captured and converted by Buddha. He's also often seen with Fujin, the god of wind. So with Kagura around, the name kinda makes sense.**

**And for anyone who's wondering, both Raijin and Toga will play big parts soon.**


	26. Seeking the Hanyou, Part 2

Broken Dreams

Chapter 26

Seeking the Hanyou (part 2)

Yoshi had just poured his morning cup of tea when Kagome burst into his hut. He gave the miko a look of surprise and set his tea down.

"Can I help you Kagome?" He asked. Kagome glared at him as she tried to catch her breath.

"Where is he?" She hissed through gritted teeth. Yoshi's eyes flickered.

"He…isn't here." He said.

"Then where did he go?" Kagome demanded.

"The abomination has taken his leave of this place, and I for one could not be happier." Kagome spun around and glared at the 'monk' leaning against the doorframe.

"And I can be sure that you did nothing to help his flight?" Kagome grated. Toga faked inspecting the cuffs of his robe and shrugged.

"I did help him find supplies." He muttered. "However, the decision to leave was his. He claimed he was leaving the valley. If you were to pursue him, we were to encourage you." Toga chuckled. "For a creature that taints the air around him, he certainly thinks well."

"Go to hell Toga. When did he come here?" Kagome asked. Yoshi put a finger on his chin.

"I believe he passed through shortly after dawn." He mused. Kagome glanced out past Toga and looked up at the sun.

"An hour then, maybe. Where did he go?"

"The southern end of the valley comes to a waterfall that leads down into a lush forest. There is another village there accessible by river. He mentioned traveling in that direction." Yoshi explained. Kagome nodded.

"Thank you." She said, turning to leave.

"You will not catch him, Kagome." Yoshi called. "Once the valley ends, the forest spans many ri. You will not catch up to him on foot, and once he passes the falls, he will be able to travel in any direction he pleases. Please, rest here for the day. You have run fast to reach us, and you should not strain yourself anymore." Kagome growled.

"Kouga will be here by tomorrow. I'm not going back to him. I'm going after Inuyasha." She insisted. Yoshi cocked his head.

"Is that Youkai's true name then? So he has regained his memories?" He asked. Kagome ignored him.

"Do any of your people have a horse?" She asked. Yoshi looked down.

"Actually yes. One of us was planning to travel soon, and was going to leave on horseback. He was going to leave in two days, but if you could persuade him to let you join him, he could find Youkai…or, Inuyasha, before he leaves the valley." Kagome smiled.

"Thank you so much. Where can I find this man?" Yoshi sighed and hung his head. Behind Kagome, Toga chuckled.

"I'm sure with a well-phrased apology, I might consider tracking down the monstrosity for you." He said. Kagome's shoulders slumped as she turned to face him.

"Please…I need to find him." She begged. Toga frowned.

"Why?" He demanded. Kagome sighed.

"I…I loved him." She whispered. Toga raised an eyebrow.

"Really? But no longer?" He asked coyly.

"I'm not sure." Kagome replied. Toga pursed his lip and spun around.

"If you want to leave soon, you'd better help me pack." He called, heading towards his hut. Kagome smiled brightly and followed him.

- - - - - - - - - -

Raijin slowly punched the air in front of him, and drew back his hand at an equally slow speed. He continued to assault the invisible foes around him with precise, slow blows, his breaths even and his mind focused on maintaining his pace. Satisfied in his concentration, Raijin finished his tai chi and beckoned forth the small girl watching him.

"Come, Kanna." He commanded. Kanna slowly walked over to him and looked up. Raijin squatted down and ran a finger along the rim of her mirror, tilting up for a better view. "Show me Inuyasha." Kanna's mirror rippled as the hanyou's image filled the glass. Raijin cocked his head and frowned.

"Is this the man who I am to capture?" He mused. "Surely there are stronger beings that Naraku would desire control over. What makes this one so special?" Raijin stretched his youki around the mirror and focused on the small bits of Inuyasha's youki seeping into it. "He is a hanyou. Interesting. And he is a competent fighter." Raijin stood. "Thank you Kanna. You may go."

Raijin walked to the front of the castle courtyard and crossed his arms, looking out over the mountain range that spawned before him.

"Naraku wishes Inuyasha be under his control. Inuyasha has power, but surely it does not surpass Naraku's." Raijin furrowed his brow and turned into the wind, his mane of sun-yellow hair streaming behind him. "Unless of course, Inuyasha is more then he seems." Raijin thought for several minutes, than reached a decision. Naraku could have ordered the capture of any youkai he wanted, but he chose Inuyasha. And Raijin wanted to know why.

"Very well then, Naraku shall have Inuyasha. But not until I am satisfied he needs him." Raijin murmured. With those words, a bolt of lightning struck from the clouds overhead and slammed into Raijin's body. Changing into a ball of yellow light, Raijin rose into the clouds and started his journey to the distant valley where Inuyasha waited.

**Hm…well, it's still budding in my head, but once Broken Dreams wraps up, here's my next story.**

**Soul Mates**

**Pairings; Inu/Kag, Sess/Kik, Mir/San**

**Rating; T (may go up to R later)**

**Genre; Romance/Action/Adventure**

**Summary; Naraku tricks the gang and forces Kagome to give her soul to Kikyo. Unable to force his former love to give up her life for Kagome, Inuyasha finds Kagome another soul; his own. Kagome is alive again thanks to Inuyasha's sacrifice. But a hanyou soul in a human body is about to have results that no one expected…**

**So, whadda you think?**


	27. In It Together

Broken Dreams

**I apologize if my math is off, but I believe 'The Violent Tomboy' is my 400th reviewer. So this chappie is dedicated to her, one of my first ever readers, way back during my first fanfic when she 'nunofyorbiz'! Now that I think about it, she's been overdue for kudos. Congrats to Violent Tomboy!**

Chapter 27

In It Together

Kagome pulled her arms tighter around Toga's waist at the monk lashed the reigns of Urusei. The horse neighed and galloped faster. Kagome really didn't like having to be so close to a man she _really_ didn't like. But there wasn't quite enough room for her to be comfortable by holding onto his shoulders.

"You realize we're not going to find him I hope." Toga said over the wind. Kagome narrowly opened her eyes and glared at the back of the monk's head.

"We'll find him." Kagome replied. She closed her eyes again and concentrated. She felt Inuyasha's youki growing closer. She couldn't tell the exact distance, so she simply prayed that the hanyou hadn't left the valley yet.

Kagome felt the horse screech to a stop, and Toga reached down to dislodge the hands clasped around his waist.

"We're here." He muttered gruffly. Kagome slid off of Urusei and stepped forward slowly as Toga set about digging out a carrot for Urusei. Kagome gulped at the form of Inuyasha looking out on the forest below. She noticed he had tied his mask in place. Youkai was back.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, stepping up to him.

"There's a village down this river. It's pretty large, and has a great shrine. I've heard of the head miko there. Her name is Shinwa. If nowhere else, you'll be safe from Kouga there." He answered. Kagome sighed and reached up to untie his mask.

"You don't need to wear this anymore." She murmured. Inuyasha sighed.

"I only go the village every couple of weeks. No one would notice." He said.

"Inuyasha, please come with me." Kagome pleaded, slipping her hand into his. Inuyasha looked away, but kept a hold on her hand.

"Kagome…I can't…Kouga."

"If he comes here, he'll look for me, and he'll still find you!" Kagome insisted. "Inuyasha, you can't live like this. I admit, it's peaceful, but it's killing you. You hide yourself from everyone; you do nothing but defend yourself. Please, you have to come with me. I want to be with you." Inuyasha bit his lip and hung his head.

"Kagome…I want to be with you to, but I can't. I haven't fought in years, my…my memory still isn't there. There are holes that I still can't fill."

"Then I'll help you remember. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, I'll help you." Kagome said. "Please, come with me, Inuyasha, I need you with me."

"Kagome, you need a hero. You need someone who can save you and chase away all the bad things. I can't do that anymore. You need a man. That's one thing I can never be." Inuyasha muttered. Kagome shook her head.

"I don't need anything like that. I just need you with me. Inuyasha, for three years, I hoped you would be alive somewhere, I prayed that you could save me. I was willing to give up everything just to have you back. And you _are_ back. I don't want to have you go away again." Kagome threw caution to the wind and wrapped her arms around Inuyasha. Inuyasha laid his chin against her head and gently stroked her hair. Behind them, Toga looked away in disgust and turned back to grooming Urusei.

"Kagome…"

"I just want you back." Kagome sobbed, tears streaming down her face.

"But if Kouga comes back…what if I can't protect? What if he tries to kill both of us this time?" Inuyasha asked. Sniffing back the tears, Kagome pulled away slightly. She stood up on tiptoes and gently pressed her lips to Inuyasha's cheek. Ignoring the hanyou's look of surprise, Kagome reached into her quiver and pulled out an arrow.

"Let him try, Inuyasha." She growled, pulling back the arrow along the bow string. The arrow flared up with pink miko energy, and Kagome wished, despite what she knew would happen to her, the Kouga was there right now. "Just let him try."

"I can't kill him, you know that." Inuyasha reminded her. "But if I ever find a way to, I'll do it." He promised. Kagome nodded.

"I believe you."

"So you two are going to the village then?" Toga spoke up, interrupting the moment. Inuyasha thought, than nodded.

"We're both going. Together." He confirmed. Toga nodded.

"I can talk to the mikos at the shrine there. I'll see if they can let you stay there for a time." Kagome smiled and bowed.

"Thank you Toga." She said. Toga grunted and cocked his head at Inuyasha.

"You were only half-right." He said. Inuyasha gave him a puzzled look. "You were partially right; you're not a man. But that part about never becoming one?" Toga smirked. "I think there's hope for you yet…Inuyasha." Toga turned and slapped Urusei on the rump, and the steed galloped back to the village. As Toga stooped to pick up his packs, Kagome smiled.

"I guess he's not so bad after all." She said to herself. Inuyasha chuckled softly and put an arm around her shoulder.

"Once you get to know him, he goes back to being an asshole." He assured her. He looked down at Kagome. "I still can't fight like I used to. Are you sure you want me to come along and slow you?" He asked. Kagome smiled coyly. For the first time in years, things were looking up for her.

"Remember how once you promised to always protect me? I'm calling that promise in." She replied.

**Heh heh heh…a chappie dedication to the reviewer who can tell me what the name of Toga's horse means. I'll give ya all a hint; what do most of you wish Toga would do?**

**Oh, and in maybe 2 or 3 chapters, I'll give a full description of Raijin. So if there are any fan artists out there, I'd be honored for a piccie of Raijin. For anyone who has read 'Love is a Fickle Thing', don't worry; he won't be quite as 2-D as Kagemusha. **


	28. Stranger in a Strange Place

Broken Dreams

**Urusei, or, an alternate spelling of Urusai, means 'shut up'. So this chapter is hereby dedicated to InuKagPar4Life.**

Chapter 28

Stranger in a Strange Place

"I remember being attacked by the spider heads, but I can't remember the name of that girl…" Inuyasha murmured. Kagome thought, then snapped her fingers.

"Nazuna." She declared gleefully. Inuyasha nodded and returned to searching for anything else he couldn't remember. Toga walking in front of them kept shooting them glances over his shoulder. Finally reaching the breaking point, Toga stopped and turned, crossing his arms.

"Why?" he asked. Inuyasha and Kagome looked up.

"Why what?" Kagome asked.

"Why did you help all those people? You're a hanyou, you're supposed to kill. Why would you do those things and expect nothing?" Toga repeated, looking at Inuyasha.

"It was the right thing to do." He murmured.

"Why do you care? Ningen and youkai alike shunned you, cast you out of society, and yet you have risked your life to save both. Why?" Inuyasha hung his head. He himself didn't really understand. At first he did it because Kagome told him to, and he wanted to shut her up. Then he did it just because it seemed natural. Looking back, Inuyasha couldn't think of a true reason. Luckily, Kagome had an answer ready.

"He did it because he's noble and pure. He saved those that others would have left for dead." She informed Toga. Toga narrowed his eyes.

"You call that thing pure? There is nothing pure about him. He's a symbol of all that is tainted."

"Tainted? And just what makes Inuyasha tainted? His blood?" Kagome asked. "His blood is what _makes_ him pure. His parents cared about each other enough to discard what others thought and be together. They died because they loved each other enough to do what they felt was right. Inuyasha is proof enough that not everyone in this world is ruled by social patterns like _you_." Inuyasha shuffled his feet and stared at the dirt at Kagome's praise. Kagome had forgotten he was even there, and now that she was done chewing up Toga's morals, she was wishing that she had waited until she was alone with Toga to tell him off.

"They discarded their honor to create something that never should have existed." **(1)** Toga growled. "End of discussion." Toga spun and started walking again, clearly a dismissal to the miko and hanyou behind him. Kagome sighed and started up when Inuyasha took a step forward.

"Thank you." Inuyasha said. "For defending me." Kagome shrugged. She didn't really think about it that much. To her, Inuyasha's life really was a symbol of purity. His father and mother had loved deeply enough to die for one another. How anyone could see that as impure, Kagome simply couldn't understand.

"I meant every word." Kagome assured him. Up ahead, Toga looked up at the sun. It was starting to set behind the distant mountains. They had been traveling after a short break when they found Inuyasha.

"We will not reach the village by nightfall." He announced. He turned to face the two behind him. "We'll have to find a place to rest for the night."

"Perhaps I could assist you with that." A silky voice said. Toga turned to face a man that had appeared out of nowhere into the middle of the path. A sun-yellow kimono was wrapped around his shoulders with a light-blue lining that was almost white. He wore a pair of light-blue sandals and a blue sash to hold his kimono together over broad shoulders.

He had a sea of yellow hair streaming down his back, running all the way to the waist. Two yellow eyes looked Toga over, two light-blue streaks coming from the bottom of his eyes to level with his mouth, like a pair of giant fangs. His ears rose to points, and a pair of small fangs gleamed in the corner of his mouth. His entire skin was tanned bronze, and heavily muscled. His face held a sense of serenity over it, a sense of peace.

Kagome looked over Toga's shoulder at the newcomer, and frowned. He was a youkai; and judging from the pulse of his youki, a powerful one. Except that there was something else about him…it took Kagome a moment to figure it out. His youki was similar to Inuyasha's; he wasn't a true youkai, he was a mere hanyou.

"Get back you vile fiend!" Toga roared, reaching into his robes for a sutra. "Take another step, and I'll purify you into the next world!" The hanyou held up his hands and sighed.

"Maintain your peace monk. I do not fear your power, and do not wish to experience it. Please desist, for you have no need to fear me." Kagome rolled her eyes and stepped from behind Toga. Negotiating with youkai obviously wasn't Toga's strong suit.

"Do you know of a place where we can spend the night?" She asked. The hanyou shifted his gaze from Toga to Kagome, and bowed with his right hand crossed to his left hip.

"Salutations, miko. It is good to see that the monk's hostility is not shared by his companions. Indeed I can help; there is a cabin nearby within this forest. It is abandoned, but will prove enough to safeguard this night. In exchange for a price, I can lead you there right now." Toga narrowed his eyes.

"And just what price did you have in mind you monster?" He snarled. The hanyou ignored Toga and looked past him and Kagome at Inuyasha.

"You are the hanyou known as Inuyasha, correct?" He asked. Inuyasha nodded.

"Yeah, what of it?" He replied. The hanyou bowed again, his hand crossing to his hip.

"I merely wished to offer you proper greetings. And in response to your question monk, the price I desire…is combat. Prepare yourself, Inuyasha." Electricity crackled around his hidden hand as a ball of yellow light appeared in his palm. His eyes glowed as his pupils narrowed to thin slits. Kagome gasped as his youki pulsed.

"Inuyasha, watch out!" She cried, spinning around. But it was too late.

"Kobushi no Raidin!" Raijin flung up straight and held out his arm, flinging a ball of lightning straight at Inuyasha.

**1; Having done a bit of research on Japan in my younger days (more like when I was 8 years old, geez, I sounded old there! 'My younger days'?), and honor was of great important. For example, a samurai had 2 swords, and if he lost one, he was expected to kill himself with the other! They claimed he had dishonored his sword by losing it, and death was the price of dishonoring the blade! Honor was a big thing back then.**

**Translation**

**Kobushi no Raidin; Fist of Thunder.**


	29. The Warrior Within: Inuyasha vs Raijin

Broken Dreams

**Recently, all my reviews have been 'When is Inuyasha gonna get Tetsusaiga back', and 'When is Inuyasha going to go back to being the brash, rude, arrogant hanyou we know and love'? Well those questions start to get answered now.**

Chapter 29

The Warrior Within: Inuyasha vs. Raijin

Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and leapt as the lightning tore through the air where he had stood. He landed and placed Kagome on the ground. Raijin pursed his lip.

"Your reflexes are impressive." He muttered. He summoned another attack and jumped. Inuyasha leapt away, and Raijin slammed the lightning into the ground. With a feline-like snarl, Raijin leapt at the hanyou again, ball of electricity at the ready. Inuyasha back-flipped and the attack missed again. Kagome took an arrow from her quiver and fired straight at Raijin's back. Raijin spun and slashed the arrow to shreds. He cringed and nursed his claw as Kagome's power took effect.

"Do not interfere!" He ordered. He jumped and fired another ball of electricity at Inuyasha, who dodged again. Raijin frowned as he kept up the assault. _"He could easily counter my attack, and yet he remains defensive. Why does he not fight?" _Raijin fired a double assault, and Inuyasha leapt out of the way of the first, and got hit in the stomach by the second. Raijin landed and watched as the hanyou slowly climbed to his feet. And still no counter-attack came. Raijin was getting irritated. Why on earth would Naraku want this one? He refused to fight, despite his power. It made no sense!

"Why do you not fight?" Raijin demanded, slashing the air. Inuyasha jumped back and didn't answer. Inspiration came to Raijin as he remembered the hanyou's reaction to his first attack. He spun and narrowed his eyes at Kagome. "If you do not wish to fight, then I shall engage someone who does!" Raijin jumped and fired a thin, blue beam of lightning. "Raidin Yuri!" He roared. Kagome dove forward and barely escaped as the attack exploded the ground behind her.

"Leave her alone!" Inuyasha shouted. Raijin sighed. Attacking a defenseless miko wasn't a very appealing idea. But Inuyasha was being difficult. With a grimace, Raijin ran forward, arms high to slash at Kagome's back. Kagome looked up and screamed. Then…

"Sankon Tessou!" Raijin cried and tripped forward as four yellow bands of energy ranked through his kimono. He groaned and looked up. Inuyasha helped Kagome to her feet, than glared at Raijin. Raijin gasped slightly as he rose to his feet.

"So you do have some fight in you." He chuckled. "I had hoped my visit here wasn't in vain. It appears so." Inuyasha kept up the glare.

"What do you want, who are you?" He asked.

"My name is Raijin, Inuyasha. All I want is you." Raijin replied. He leapt again. And to his surprise, Inuyasha leapt to meet him.

"Kobushi no Raidin!"

"Sankon Tessou!" The two hanyous clashed in midair and fell to the ground in a fury of slashes. Raijin broke away first and clutched his right arm, which bore a particularly nasty slash. Inuyasha climbed to his feet, his eyes briefly flashing red before he tore his claw through his shoulder, drawing blood. "Hijin Ketsusou!" He cried, flinging his claw out. Red crescents of energy slashed through the air. Raijin fired a bolt of lightning and intercepted many of the blades, but still more broke through and tore through his body. Raijin cried out as the attack flung him onto his back. _"I knew he was powerful, but I never expected this!"_ He fired another blast of lightning at the charging hanyou. Inuyasha took the attack head on and kept running, even as the attack tore new wounds in his flesh. Inuyasha landed a punch and sent Raijin into a tree. His eyes flashed red again, this time for more then just a moment. Kagome gasped.

"Oh no…" She whispered. Inuyasha's fangs grew longer as he snarled and leapt onto Raijin, slashing the hanyou across the face. Kagome dropped her weapons and her pack, and spun around to dig through it. Pulling out the sheathed sword at the bottom, she but her lip and stood up. Inuyasha hauled Raijin to his feet and landed a fierce uppercut, knocking Raijin away. Inuyasha raised his head and howled in triumph as Kagome ran forward, Tetsusaiga stretch out.

"Inuyasha, you have to stop!" She pleaded. At her voice, Inuyasha snarled and turned to face her. Kagome couldn't see it from her view. But Raijin had a clear view of the razor-sharp claws that the hanyou was bringing around in his turn. Raijin cried and held out his hand. A bolt of lightning streamed towards the hanyou-turned-youkai as he brought his claws towards Kagome's throat. The attack hit and knocked Inuyasha into a tree, moments before his claws tore into Kagome's throat. Falling onto his stomach, Inuyasha groaned and lay still. Kagome grabbed his hand and slammed Tetsusaiga into his palm, waiting and eventually sighing in relief as his claws grew shorter. Toga knelt down beside her.

"What on earth was that?" He asked.

"That, monk, was Inuyasha's full-youkai side." Kagome and Toga froze as a long shadow stretched over their heads. Slowly, they looked up into the stern face of Raijin. Raijin stared for a moment before reaching down and grabbed Inuyasha by the back of his collar and flinging the hanyou over his shoulder. Kagome growled and jumped to her feet as Raijin started to walk away.

"Why did you attack us?" She demanded. Raijin turned to face the enraged miko.

"I am Raijin, an incarnation of Naraku. Naraku ordered me to locate and capture Inuyasha for him." Kagome gasped as Raijin mentioned Naraku's name. Raijin turned and started walking again. "If you want to find the cabin, follow me." He called back. Toga went to retrieve his goods while Kagome opted to run forward and cut off Raijin.

"What's your angle?" She asked. Raijin stared again before answering.

"I hope my earlier attacks did not harm you. As for my 'angle', I wish to know what is so special about Inuyasha." Raijin stepped around Kagome and into the forest, leaving the two humans behind him to follow. Raijin didn't look back, although his ears told him that Toga and Kagome were following him. Raijin turned his head slightly to look at the incoherent hanyou over his shoulder. He absentmindedly reached up to brush a claw over the gouges Inuyasha had raked across his face. _"He not only overcame my attacks, but even turned full youkai in the process. And that simple sword reversed the transformation. How is it possible that such a bloodthirsty beast dwells within such a peaceful hanyou?" _Raijin continued to head towards the cabin he had found, unaware of the buzzing Saimyousho following and watching high overhead. As Raijin entered the cabin, the insect turned and flew back into the distant mountains.

**Sankon Tessou; the actual translation is 'Soul Scattering Iron Claw'. But odds are most readers will know it better as 'Iron Reaver Soul Stealer'. Stupid English dub.**

**Raidin Yuri; Thunder Spear**

**Hijin Ketsusou; Again, an incorrect English dub. Actually means 'Airborne Blade Blood Claw', but is called 'Blades of Blood'.**

**Saimyousho; Naraku's insects.**


	30. Memories of Darkness

Broken Dreams

Chapter 30

Memories of Darkness

"3 years of living in peace…I guess my youkai side was just itching to get a good fight." Inuyasha muttered. He visibly shivered and tightened his grip of Tetsusaiga. Kagome looked up from the cooking pot on the fire as the hanyou's golden eyes took on a darker look. Kagome was mentally kicking herself for pushing for Inuyasha to come. It was only after his fight that that dark look deepened.

"To be perfectly fair, you were provoked." Toga pointed out. Everyone turned to glare at the hanyou leaning against the wall. "Hanyous only give in to their youkai blood when overwhelmed in battle and they risk death."

"It was not my intention to kill you." Raijin sniffed. "I was merely testing him. Had I wished to kill you, Inuyasha, I would have done so." Inuyasha looked up at Raijin.

"Thanks, I guess." He muttered. Toga snorted and turned over on the floor, covering himself with a pelt from his sleeping bag.

"I am going to rest. I do not wish to be disturbed until morning." He growled. Raijin spared the monk a glance before nodding towards Inuyasha.

"As I said, I was merely testing you. Naraku ordered me to capture you for him. I wished to know why." Raijin looked down at the Tetsusaiga in Inuyasha's grasp. "If what I observed is true, your youkai side is quite strong. It is no wonder Naraku would wish to possess such power." Kagome ladled the small soup in the pot into one of the bowls Inuyasha had packed and handed it to him.

It's not just that, Naraku and Inuyasha have been enemies for years." She told Raijin. Raijin nodded.

"Understandable. Inuyasha is strong in his youkai form, but there are others that Naraku could capture more easily. I figured my orders would have stemmed from a personal vendetta." Inuyasha frowned.

"So what are you going to do now?" He asked. Raijin peered at him.

"That depends on you. If you indeed plan to fight Naraku, then I will carry out my orders and deliver you to him. If, however, I ascertain that you pose no threat to him, then I shall leave you in peace." Raijin bowed and swept out of the hut. Kagome cocked an eyebrow at Inuyasha.

"Well?" She asked. Inuyasha shrugged.

"I really don't want to fight Naraku anymore. If he comes for us, I'll protect you, but otherwise…" Inuyasha's gaze fell on the Tetsusaiga. "If it comes to it, I'll use the Kongosoha and kill him, but…" Inuyasha trailed off, and Kagome wisely decided to change the subject.

"Um, I was thinking…" She started. "You were…lost, three years ago, but you said that Yoshi found you two and a half years ago. Where were you for those few months?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha bit his lip and looked away.

"I told you before, I don't like to talk about it." He whispered. Kagome nodded.

"I know, but I thought you might have changed your mind…" She replied. She waited, but Inuyasha didn't say anything more. Sighing, Kagome took another bowl from the pack.

"It was dark." Inuyasha muttered. Kagome froze and looked over her shoulder. The hanyou's head had dropped to his chest, his eyes taking on a dark look. "It…it was dark. And it was cold. I wasn't sure where I was, or…who I was. I think there were a few things I remembered, but…they vanished." Kagome set down the bowl and moved to sit beside Inuyasha. _"If he was still remembering, it must have been just after the fall…"_

"I couldn't move a lot, there were chains around me. My wrists…my ankles…I knew I should have been able to break them. But I just felt so weak…and there was something over my eyes, I couldn't even see. But I could smell. And the room reeked of burnt flesh and death. Both of the smells were coming from me." Inuyasha slowly raised his three-clawed hand to stare at the empty space where a finger should have been.

"I'm not sure how long I lay there…I tried to escape, but there was something draining me…then I heard someone come in…a man and a woman. They started a fire near me, and I wasn't sure what was going on. Then I smelt hot steel. I started struggling, but one of them grabbed me and held my hand open…" Inuyasha had started to shake as he clenched his hand. Kagome reached out and wrapped her own around his fist.

"I've never felt anything like it. I felt like every nerve was on fire. I screamed, but they didn't care. I just wanted to know who they were, who _I _was…why they were doing this. Then they stopped, and I felt even weaker. I could feel it…not there anymore." Inuyasha held up his other hand, the one missing the thumb. "It was this one. They had had their fun with my other hand." He growled. "It hurt so much, I though I was dying. Either that or I already had and was in Hell. I…I begged them to kill me. I begged them to stop hurting me and just make the pain stop. He told me…that I didn't deserve to die. He told me that I deserved to beg, to suffer. That I deserved to live like the half-breed freak I really was." Kagome threw caution to the wind and wrapped her arms around the hanyou beside her. She winced slightly and Inuyasha gripped her and dug his claws into her back, but she didn't pull away.

"I'm so sorry…" She whispered. Inuyasha nodded against her shoulder before pulling away.

"I fell asleep…and I'm not sure how long I was out. But when I came to, there was fire. The whole room was on fire. I screamed for help, but no one came. A beam cut one of the chains, and I tore off my blindfold. Then…there was a beam on the ceiling...it fell." Inuyasha started to breathe more deeply as he reached up to his face. Locking eyes with Kagome, he traced a claw over the scar over his eye and forehead.

"I waited for the pain to stop, than I got out of there. My hair was on fire, I think my flesh was on fire even. I just kept running until I found a river. I jumped in and waited. I ended up falling asleep half in the water. When I woke up…" Kagome nodded.

"Youkai." She whispered. Inuyasha nodded.

"And…I didn't know who they were back then…" He said uneasily. "But I think I recognize the voices now...of the two people that did this." He sighed and hung his head.

- - - - - - - - - -

Outside, Raijin listened as Inuyasha named his unknown assailants. He frowned and walked into the forest. _"So, no wonder Naraku wanted Inuyasha. He's already tried to break the hanyou. And he failed when his castle was attacked." _Raijin sighed.

"That so called 'abomination' has found peace that most youkai and ningen can only dream of. He just wants to live. And Naraku wants him to die." Raijin stared at the ground as Inuyasha's memory played back in his head. "He had suffered enough. He shall suffer no more, not by my hand." Raijin raised his head and glared at someone unseen foe in the dark forest that stretched before him.

"I shall give you the power of any ningen or youkai you desire, Naraku. Except for Inuyasha and Kagome." He declared. "They have suffered enough. I refuse to make them suffer anymore."

**Another piece of the puzzle clicks into place. But there's still a big piece that no one has figured out yet! And there's one more piece that I bet no one has even expected until now about Inuyasha's deformities…**

**Translation**

**Kongosoha; the Diamond Spear Blast that can break Naraku's strongest barriers. Not really seen until the last jewel shard is found, meaning that you've probably never heard of it over in the US and Canada. Unless you know where to look, of course.**


	31. A Hanyou's Thoughts

Broken Dreams

**A couple of people have asked why Inuyasha's fingers don't grow back. I respond with this: Why doesn't Sesshomaru's arm grow back? I hereby rest my case. If someone has a good reason why Sesshomaru's arm shouldn't grow back, and Inuyasha's fingers should, I wanna hear it. Seriously, I wondered about the arm myself, so any explanations are welcome!**

Chapter 31

A Hanyou's Thoughts

"You _will _be mine." Naraku hissed. Youkai cringed and tried without success to break the chains binding him to the floor. Naraku chuckled. "That will do no good, hanyou. Those chains are bound in a shroud of dark magic. No youkai could break them." Naraku reached a hand out and grabbed Youkai's hand. He smirked and ran his thumb over the place where the middle finger should have been. The wound was still fresh, and crusted over his dry blood. Youkai hissed in pain, and Naraku's smirk grew wider. The dark hanyou purposely dragged his fingernail over the scab, drawing blood.

"I hope you understand what this means." Naraku chuckled. "It's too bad, the same Shikon-no-Kakera that makes you weak enough to imprison also drains your memories. I really wish you understood why you deserve this, but I'll settle for you understanding what the result is." Naraku leaned close, right to Youkai's ear, and whispered. "You'll _never_ be free from me. You can kill me, send my soul to the darkest depths of Hell, but I'll always be close by, right _here_." Naraku's hand shot out to grab the stump of Youkai's thumb, and he cried out as the pressure forced the wound open. Only a day old, it quickly yielded ruby-red blood.

"This is you now, you pathetic creature." Naraku sneered. "I was branded for life, and so now shall you. You can defeat me, but you'll neverdefeat what I've done. What I have done to you now will never go away. You'll never be normal, you'll never fit in. Your destiny now is to live as the freak you truly are." Youkai whimpered, and Naraku laughed. "I've taken your fingers, your memories, and your pride. I think I'm rather proud of myself." Naraku turned and drew the gleaming, red-hot dagger from the coals in which it lay. Naraku drew the dagger near Youkai's ear, and growled as it flattened away from the heat. Naraku grabbed the tip and held it out.

"And I'm not finished yet." Naraku gritted. A few moments later, Youkai let out a piercing scream of pain as the dagger punctured the sensitive flesh of his ear.

- - - - - - - - - -

Inuyasha's eyes snapped open from the nightmare of his past. He shook his head to clear out the images. Of course, he hadn't been able to see the process of becoming Youkai. But he had smelt it. He had heard it. He had felt it. His mind filled in the details that he'd rather not know. Those few dark months when he underwent his journey from Inuyasha to Youkai were blurry as best. And those few memories he had, he'd rather he didn't.

Inuyasha's troubled gaze fell on the young woman asleep in his lap. Kagome had leaned her head on his shoulder, and ultimately fallen asleep leaning against him. He had laid her down so that he head was resting comfortably on his lap, her face gazing upwards at him.

"She loves you, you know." Inuyasha looked up at the hanyou filling the doorway of the cabin. Inuyasha nodded. He had his doubts about Kagome's feelings a few years ago, but now, she was risking death and Kouga's wrath for him. Considering his track record of broken trust over the years, that meant volumes to him.

"Yeah, I know." He replied, looking back at Kagome.

"We talked while you were unconscious." Raijin continued. "I understand she is mated to Kouga the Wolf Prince, correct?" Inuyasha nodded again. "Do you love her?" Raijin asked. Inuyasha glared up at him.

"I don't see how that really matters." He muttered. Raijin cocked an eyebrow.

"There is no greater turmoil in this world then an unrequited love. And from what I have been told, this young miko has been through enough turmoil." Inuyasha bit his lip and looked down at Kagome again.

"Yeah. You can blame me for that." He explained. "I figured I could have beaten him easily. I lost." Raijin sighed.

"And yet you act as though there is no hope. Kouga still lives, as do you. You can still kill him and avenge the pain he has done to Kagome."

"I can't. If Kouga dies, Kagome dies too. He mated with her." Inuyasha replied.

"I know. I also fail to see how this is a problem." Inuyasha's gaze shot up at Raijin's words.

"You don't think that indirectly killing Kagome is a problem?" He growled.

"Surely you realize you can kill Kouga without doing Kagome harm." Raijin scoffed.

"There's no way, the mating mark can never be broken, except by a higher ranking youkai." Inuyasha muttered. "It's a problem with no solution. It's impossible." Raijin shook his head sadly. He had asked Kagura about Inuyasha before he had left Naraku's castle. And with what he had learned, even he had figured out by now what had to be done. Inuyasha had not.

"Impossible is a word that exists only for those who doubt, Inuyasha. I assure you, you can save Kagome. If you love her enough, you can save her." Raijin turned and left, dismissing the hanyou. Inuyasha frowned at his words. Raijin obviously knew something. He wanted to follow him and ask what, but he didn't want to wake Kagome. And that word Raijin had used….love…

Inuyasha ran a hand over Kagome's cheek. He had lied once before. He said when he was Youkai, that he remembered nothing. That was a lie; there was one thing he remembered. A young girl, long black hair, laughing at something he couldn't see. And with that image came the thought that she had to be safe. For three years, Inuyasha hadn't known who that girl was, or why he wanted her to be safe. Now…

"Inuyasha…" Kagome murmured, turning slightly. He eyes remained closed. Inuyasha reached down and brushed her hand against hers.

"Kagome." He acknowledged. Kagome's hand tightened around his.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me." Kagome begged. Inuyasha nodded and squeezed her hand back.

"I won't Kagome. I promise." He whispered. Kagome fell back into whatever dream of loss she was having, and Inuyasha's gaze darkened once more. He had no doubts in his mind of what was happening in her dream. Inuyasha took the hand not clutched by the woman before him, and picked up Tetsusaiga lying beside them. He drew the sword from its sheath and stared at the blade.

_Enemy male hurt alpha female. Alpha male hurt enemy male._ Inuyasha felt his youkai blood pulsing in his veins. Even Tetsusaiga couldn't hold back its desires. After 3 years of being dormant thanks to the purity of the Shikon-no-Kakera in his shoulder. And now it was awake, and wanted blood. And more specifically, it wanted Kouga's blood.

_Enemy male hurt alpha female. Alpha male hurt enemy male. _His youkai blood urged. Inuyasha wanted to leave peacefully. But looking down at Kagome, he came to a decision: peace could wait. Right now, Kagome was what mattered most. Raijin would have to be interrogated later about how to break the mating mark. Right now, there was one thing on Inuyasha's mind.

_Enemy male hurt alpha female. Alpha male hurt enemy male. _Inuyasha closed his eyes and searched his returning memories for the one he needed. Finding it, he opened his eyes, satisfied to see swirls of yellow energy coursing over the blade in his hands.

_Enemy male hurt alpha female. Alpha male hurt enemy male, kill enemy male! _His youkai blood roared. Inuyasha knew Kouga had hurt Kagome, and had done nothing. His youkai was furious that its intended had not only been hurt by an enemy of the pack, but claimed by the enemy as well. An enemy male claiming the alpha male's intended mate was unforgivable, and carried the ultimate price. His youkai wanted Kouga to pay. And for once, Inuyasha and his youkai were in complete agreement.

_Enemy male hurt alpha female. Alpha male hurt enemy male._

"Yeah." Inuyasha growled. He ran his eyes up along the Kaze-no-Kizu forming around Tetsusaiga. "Alpha male hurt enemy male."

**Kaze-no-Kizu: Wound of the Wind. But again, the lousy English dubbers call this the 'Wind Scar'.**

**Shikon-no-Kakera: Shard of the Shikon Jewel.**


	32. A Rival Returns

Broken Dreams

**A chapter dedication to Dreammistress Jade, my 500th** **reviewer! I'm actually surprised this story is so popular. I figured that killing off Inuyasha and making Kouga an ass would earn me flames from Inuyasha and Kouga fans alike. Guess not huh? I'm certainly not complaining, to date, this is on over 70 fav lists, making it my most popular story ever! Anyhow, you didn't come here to listen to me ramble, did ya? On with the chappie…**

Chapter 32

A Rival Returns

He was the greatest creature that had ever lived, save for the great miko Midoriko. He had legions of admirers and followers all across Japan. Women flocked to him, begged him to bed them or marry them. And he refused them all. He was, without a doubt, the most powerful, respected and feared man in Japan. And he was in the company of a pair of…_hanyous._

Toga mentally spat the word. Ever since his father had taken him to witness the stoning of one of the abominations, the word had left a bad taste in his mouth. Hanyou. A disease, a plague upon the earth, that's all they are. They are meaningless, trite pests that are created only through the unholiest of unions; a human and a youkai.

The very idea that a member of his own race would lower themselves to the level of a youkai disgusted Toga. Humans were made in the image of the Kami themselves. They were the pure, the mighty. It was the humans who kept this world great. It was humans who invented, cultivated, created. All the youkai of the world did was destroy all that the humans created. And the hanyou of the world? They were symbols of the humans too weak to resists the temptations of the damned. Toga had once been approached by a lovely tanooki-youkai with red hair. She had exercised her charms and asked him to give her a son. She had the audacity to ask Toga to assist in the birth of a hanyou.

She had been cast from the village with the threat of purification should she ever look upon Toga again. The youkai were a test of wills to the humans. They were meant to seduce, subdue, to do all in their power to bring forth a world of disorder. A world of youkai was a world of death, lust and primitiveness. Hanyous meant that some humans were allowing such a world to be created. Hanyous meant the world was losing its way.

Toga cast another dark glance over his shoulder, and was surprised to find himself locking his ownviolet eyes on a pair of sun-yellow ones. Toga's upper lip curled as he snapped his head to face forward. Behind him, Raijin smirked. He had found Toga rather amusing. Raijin was a hanyou, a creature meant to kill. Toga was meant to be pure and peaceful. And yet, it was Toga who had created many of the conflicts between them, and it was Raijin who stepped back and refused to take the monk's bait.

Raijin, to Toga, should have been killed the moment the hanyou Inuyasha woke from his slumber last night. Not only was Raijin a hanyou, but he served Naraku. Never had a being more foul than Naraku existed. And here the hanyou was, walking behind them as if he…

"Stop." Raijin snapped. Inuyasha came to a halt beside him Kagome quickly reaching for an arrow from her quiver. Toga rolled his eyes and turned to the concerned hanyou. Raijin sniffed the air and growled.

"What is it Raijin?" Kagome asked. Raijin looked up and scanned the skies.

"He's coming…" He whispered. A breeze kicked up around the trees. Inuyasha's hand reached down to grasp the Tetsusaiga. Kagome cocked her bow. Toga reached into his robe for an ofuda.

"Inuyasha, it's been a long time." A dark voice murmured. The ground behind Toga cracked and split to reveal a white pelt that Kagome remembered all too well. Naraku stared out from the holes in his cloak as Kagome aimed her arrow at his head.

"Surely you don't think that will do any good, do you miko?" Naraku hissed. Kagome didn't fire, but kept her arrow trained on the dark hanyou in front of them.

"What do you want Naraku?" Inuyasha snapped. Naraku fixed Inuyasha with a cold stare.

"I've spent over two years looking for you. Two years of searching, hoping to find the one pathetic hanyou I could never truly defeat. And here you are."

"Pathetic hanyou? You're one to talk. Without all your Shikon-no-Kakera, you were always weak as I remember." Inuyasha snorted. Naraku narrowed his eyes.

"Remember? Inuyasha, do you really think you remember? You may remember that which happened three longs years ago, but you have yet to learn what has happened since your…_death_. There is much you need to know, especially about the young miko you still carry in your company." Inuyasha instinctively stepped in front of Kagome as Naraku's violet eyes moved over to her.

"She's mated to Kouga, I know that. She told me so herself." Inuyasha muttered.

"Do you? And just what else has she told you, or not told you? Tell me, Inuyasha, how much has she truly told you about her betrayal? She let the wolf replace you, she let him take your place as the alpha male of your pack. And she not only let him touch her, she even begged him touch her. She gave herself to him as her own free will. She…" Naraku was about to say more, but two things happened in that split second. Kagome's arrow tore through the cloak on his left shoulder, and Inuyasha jumped and slashed at his chest. Naraku leapt back and laughed.

"Does it hurt, hearing the truth? That you were barely gone before she received the wolf with open arms? And now, not only has she betrayed you, but she has even convinced you to leave your cave and go out into the world. Had you stayed in the valley, I may never have found you. But thanks to her, I can take you once again." Naraku sent out a flurry of tentacles towards Inuyasha. The hanyou met the attack head one and slashed several to shreds, only to be entangled by more.

Kagome notched another arrow in her bow and took aim. But Naraku was a fool. Although Inuyasha was hacking his way through the sea of brown tentacles that had leapt from under Naraku's cloak, Naraku himself was managing to weave his attack through the air, keeping Inuyasha in a zigzag. Any shot towards him might hit Inuyasha. Kagome cursed and lowered her bow.

"Naraku!" Naraku turned his head slightly to glare at the hanyou below him.

"I shall deal with Inuyasha, Raijin. You shall kill the monk and the miko." Naraku ordered. Raijin knelled on one knee and bowed his head.

"Naraku, I beg of you, please spare Inuyasha and Kagome." He whispered. Naraku's eyes narrowed to slits.

"You what?" He snarled. Raijin raised his head.

"Neither of them wishes to fight anymore. Inuyasha bears no ill will towards you anymore, and Kagome only wishes to be with him. They do not wish to fight you anymore. Please, let them go." Naraku growled and wrapped one of the tentacles not holding Inuyasha around Raijin, lifting him up.

"You dare tell me what to do?" Naraku sneered. Raijin winced as the tentacle around his waist tightened. "I created you, Raijin."

"You did, and I am eternally grateful, Naraku. But I cannot allow them to be harmed when they have done nothing…" Raijin's words were lost to the wind as Naraku flung him away. Raijin hit the ground and rolled.

"You do what I tell you to do!" Naraku roared. "I did not create you to preach about peace, I created you to fight! I am your master, your creator, Raijin! Now obey me and kill Kagome!" Raijin slowly climbed to his feet, a look of shock on his face. He raised a claw to his face.

"I was created only to fight…" He whispered.

"Of course you were, who else could have engineered such a magnificent fusion of grace, beauty and power?" Naraku chuckled. "Raijin, you are the greatest creature I have created in years. I have had many incarnations, but few could hope to match you. Your purpose in life is to kill, and I crafted you to suit that task well. Now, claim your birthright and kill the miko!" Raijin lowered his claw and his eyes glowed a brighter yellow.

"I was created…only to destroy…" He whispered. He turned to stare at Kagome, a ball of lightning forming in his hand. "You are right, Naraku. I was created to kill. It is time to claim my birthright." With a cry of anger, Raijin flung out his hand and fired the deadly ball of electricity. Kagome barely had time to gasp as the ball of thunder impacted and exploded in a flash of blinding light.

**I guess I fooled some of ya with the chapter title huh? Well, I'm not going to put the battle with Kouga just yet. But I promise you all, Inuyasha and Kouga WILL have their showdown. There's no way I'm cruel enough to deprive you of that!**

**I spend this chapter focusing a little more on our new supporting cast, Toga and Raijin. My last incarnation, Kagemusha, was a 2-D 'Hail Naraku' guy, so I wanted to make Raijin's character complex. I mean come on, finding out you were born for the sole purpose of killing? That'll send anyone on a head trip! As for Toga, he'll be leaving soon, but you'll have to bear his ego for a few more chapters.**


	33. Clash of the Hanyous

Broken Dreams

**This chapter is dedicated to Zenad, who has graciously given up his/her time to re-read my earlier chapters and fix any spelling and grammar mistakes I missed. Thanks a lot Zenad!**

Chapter 33

Clash of the Hanyous

"Are you sure she hasn't been found?" Yoshi shook his head.

"I am sorry wolf, but your mate has not been in this village, nor have we been able to find her in any of our searches." He explained. Kouga growled and wrapped a claw around Yoshi's neck.

"Then why do I still detect her scent lingering here?" He grated. Yoshi opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to cover his tracks. Luckily, Miroku stepped in to cover for him.

"Kouga, it is irrational to accuse him of lying based on an old scent. Please, let him go, lest the villagers become hostile." He said. Kouga growled and dropped Yoshi to the ground.

"Her scent isn't the only one I recognize…" Kouga muttered to himself. A distinct scent of forest hung in the air as well, not much older then Kagome's. Kouga racked his brain as he tried to remember where he had smelled the smell before, but shook his head and gave up. He glared at Miroku. "Come with me, we're going to search the valley." He growled, marching past him. Miroku sighed and kneeled for Shippo to hop off his shoulder before grudgingly following Kouga into the forest.

"Here, let me help you." Sango said, helping Yoshi to his feet. She led the headmaster back to his hut.

"Thank you, taijya." Yoshi smiled. He sighed and bit his lip. "I was worried your wolf companion would have gone hostile, and with our monk on a journey, we would have no protection against such dangers."

"Kouga is cruel, but he cares for Kagome nonetheless. And her safety is first and foremost in his mind." Sango explained. Mentally, she laughed at her own words. Kouga care for Kagome? Maybe he thought he did, but to them? "Why did Kouga detect Kagome's scent in your village? Are you sure she did not come here?" Yoshi busied himself with a boiling pot of tea in his hearth.

"She was here." He muttered. "She came, left, then came and left again. She headed out of the valley with our monk Toga, in pursuit of an old friend she had met in the valley." He handed Sango a small cup of the tea before turning back to get his own. Sango frowned.

"She found a friend in the valley? Who?" She asked. Yoshi shrugged.

"He had been living here for a couple years now. He had lost his memory, so we just called him Youkai. But Kagome knew his name, as I recall. Inuyass, Inuyassa, Inu-something…Inuyasha, that's what she called him." Sango gasped and jumped to her feet, her cup falling in her wake and gently cracking apart on Yoshi's floor.

- - - - - - - - - -

Raijin's Kobushi-no-Raidin soared through the air, electrifying the air around it. Kagome stood stunned for a moment before diving for cover, sure that it would be too late to avoid Raijin's assault. Then, the ball exploded as it impacted. And no where near Kagome, either.

The tentacles holding Inuyasha superheated and exploded as the thunder struck home. Naraku roared as the appendages crackled with lingering electricity. He turned to face Raijin as the hanyou leapt forward in a whirlwind of claws. Raijin ripped through the claws as fast as Inuyasha, maybe even faster. He had started to sliced near Naraku's body when a flurry of tentacles struck him in the back, wrapping around his waist.

"You traitorous little wretch!" Naraku roared. "You dare to strike your creator, your master?" Raijin growled.

"Creator yes, to my never ending-shame. Master? I'll die before I ever obey one such as you ever again, Naraku! What madman creates a sentient being only to kill? Have you lost your mind?" Naraku snarled and flung Raijin into a tree. He then got a painful reminder that he was fighting two hanyous, not one.

"Sankon Tessou!" four long gashes raked down Naraku's back. Inuyasha, for the most part, didn't want any part of killing, save for Kouga. But that was before he remembered just who was responsible for his deformities. Kouga had the ultimate hand in Kagome's suffering, but his own? His own suffering was Naraku's fault. Inuyasha sliced away a trio of tentacles coming for him at the right, and Raijin jumped up to tear up more on the left. Naraku's tentacles kept reforming, but between the inu-hanyou and the raidin-hanyou, they were being chopped down faster then they regenerated.

"Kobushi-no-Raidin!"

"Sankon Tessou!" Naraku roared as Raijin's attack tore a clear hole through his tentacles. It its wake was Inuyasha, landing a direct blow on Naraku's chest. Even more tentacles burst from the sides of Naraku's cloak, now tattered with the claw attacks Inuyasha had landed on both sides. The tide evened as the added attackers began to hold off the hanyous.

"Naraku seems tireless, which is more then I can say for them." Toga muttered. Kagome realized he was right. Naraku's attacks were just as fast now as they were when he first appeared. Inuyasha and Raijin, however, were hard pressed now only to avoid the attacks, but also counter them. All it would take would be one of them to tire just enough for Naraku to gain the edge, then…

Kagome raised her bow and aimed. She aimed for a point just below Naraku's neck, where she was sure the youkai puppet would be. Inuyasha and Raijin moved the fight to either side, granting her a clear shot. With a breath, Kagome released the arrow, watching as it flared pink with miko purity. Then, Kagome's eyes widened.

"NO!" She screamed. But it was true, Inuyasha's point of attack has shifted, putting him directly between Naraku and the arrow. Inuyasha was too bust trying to strike as Naraku's head to register her scream. But Raijin saw the stream of pink light heading for the three hanyous. He tore loose the tentacle around his wrist and dove through the air. He sliced and knocked away the tentacles around Inuyasha, and in the process cut the hanyou a bit as well. But the deed was done. Raijin's momentum carried Inuyasha out of the arrow's path. However, his admirable attempt to save Inuyasha had one small flaw he hadn't taken the time to consider.

The arrow streaked behind him, and burned its way into Raijin's back, just over the spider-burn that all Naraku's incarnations carried. The arrow itself hit Naraku, but not before its aura burnt Raijin's back. The arrow imbedded itself in Naraku's neck, and poured its power into him. Naraku exploded in a blaze of light, the clay figure inside him vanishing into dust. Inuyasha and Raijin hit the ground. Kagome dropped her bow and ran to Inuyasha as he pulled himself from Raijin's grasp.

"Are you ok?" She asked. Inuyasha nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But what about…" He turned and stared at the motionless body behind him. Raijin lay face down on the ground, his leg twitching and his back still smoking along the black burn mark Kagome's arrow had left.

**Oooooo, Kouga's hot on the trail, and Sango knows about Inuyasha now! How long before they meet up? And will it be long enough for Inuyasha to figure out how to break Kouga's mark?**


	34. Purpose

Broken Dreams

Chapter 34

Purpose

"I assure you, we will not be here long. I will be departing tomorrow morning, and they will go on their way shortly after." Toga assured Naomi. The miko was the head of the village along the river leading through the valley. After the battle with Naraku, they had hurried here with Raijin, seeking aid for the injured hanyou. Currently, Toga was negotiating their stay for the night. Naomi smiled and nodded.

"But of course Toga, I would be honored to house your guests for as long as they wish. I wish you a safe journey back to your village." She replied. She stood and shook hands with Toga. Toga cleared his throat.

"I also offer my sincere apologies on the…_diversity_, of my companions." He said, bowing. Naomi sighed. Toga's complete disrespect for youkai was astounding, even after so many years. Naomi's mother Hitomi had raised her in the ways of Buddha. All life was sacred to Naomi and her shrine maidens, even the lives of the youkai and the hanyous. True, many youkai were evil, but not all. Naomi had often consulted and met with traveling youkai in her village, and often found them quite courteous. But Toga was blind to his discrimination, and try as she might have to open his eyes, he remained completely unfair to youkai. At this point, Naomi had accepted that, for whatever reason, Toga would always hate youkai.

"Your apology is accepted Toga. Please, join your companions and rest." Naomi urged. Toga shook his head.

"I wish to visit your shrine first, Naomi. I wish to offer pilgrimage as forgiveness from the Kami for bringing the hanyous here." Naomi bit back a sigh.

"As you will, Toga. This way."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm sorry about this." Kagome muttered. Raijin grunted and hissed as her fingertips brushed against the black scar she was bandaging. The hanyou had his kimono off and was clad only in his blue hakama, letting Kagome dress his wound. The hanyou had regained consciousness upon arriving at the river village, and Kagome had requested healing herbs and medicines from the mikos. The two of them and Inuyasha were now at the house of the village mistress Naomi, which doubled as both a home and a temple. Naomi had greeted Inuyasha and Raijin with surprisingly good will.

It's alright, I'll live." Raijin assured her. Inuyasha looked over what bit of the burn had yet to be bandaged.

"Yeah, but I'll bet it really hurts." He said to himself. "Why did you risk death to save me?" He asked. Raijin sighed.

"I was created to kill. And yet I could not simply allow myself to let you die when I could have prevented it." He looked over his shoulder at the hanyou and miko. "Is that odd? To defy what, for all intents and purposes, I ought to enjoy?" He asked. Kagome scowled at the question.

"Don't listen to Naraku, he'll say anything to get what he wants. Who knows what he really created you for? And it doesn't really matter anyway, what does matter is what you want to do." She replied. Raijin nodded.

"Naraku wants you dead, both of you." He told them. Inuyasha snorted.

"Yeah, he's wanted that for what, it's been five years now Kagome?" Kagome nodded. "He won't give up, he can't. Onigumo's lust and hatred is all that fuels him, even if he no longer has a human heart. He was created by anger, hatred and evil, and it's all he knows. He doesn't stop trying to kill us because that's all he can do. It's what _he_ was created for; doing with his life what Onigumo couldn't with his. He'll keep killing and killing until he dies."

"So we are truly one and the same, even beyond my being his incarnation." Raijin mused. "We are bound by our creation, and cannot escape it."

"No, I'm saying that you two are entirely different." Inuyasha explained. "Naraku may have been different when he was born, but he allowed Onigumo's desires to overwhelm him. You didn't let yours overwhelm you, instead you fought your desire to kill and saved me. Naraku let himself be controlled by his creation, but you don't have to do the same."

"So if I do what I am meant to do, I will become as evil and hollow as Naraku." Raijin spat. "And if not, then I have no purpose for living and might as well die right now."

"That's not true!" Kagome said sharply. "Haven't you been listening to anything we've said? Just because you don't want to fulfil your original purpose doesn't mean you have nothing to live for! You create a new purpose, one you do want to fulfil. Do you think I was created for a purpose? It doesn't matter, because I make my own purposes." She said. Raijin grunted as she finished wrapping his wound. He got up and picked up his kimono.

"So if my life is truly my own, then Naraku has no control over me." He muttered. "And yet…" He leaned his head back to catch a glimpse of the spider mark on his back. "I thank you both for your words, Kagome. Inuyasha." Raijin pulled on his kimono and slipped out the door. He turned to slide the shoji shut, then turned around again, bumping abruptly into Naomi. Raijin gulped and bowed.

"Forgive, lady miko." He said. Naomi nodded.

"Are you the incarnation of Naraku Toga spoke of?" She asked. Raijin's eyes clouded as he stood up.

"I am, but I ask that you please not associate me with him any longer. I am not an ally of Naraku anymore, and do not wish to be grouped with him." Naomi nodded, but wasn't really paying attention. She frowned and reached out to Raijin's shoulder, running her hand up in, just above the skin.

"Your aura…" She murmured. "Both of your have such strange auras…"

"Both of us who?" Raijin asked.

"You and the other hanyou, Inuyasha. You have such odd auras. Your youki and his, they are like nothing I've ever seen before…"

"What do you mean?" Raijin asked, puzzled. Naomi smiled slightly and shook her head.

"I know it is impossible for youkai and hanyous to achieve such a thing, but both of you are so close it's scary. Your youki are the most…" Naomi's hand stopped it's trek at Raijin's cheek. "They are almost…pure." She murmured. Raijin's eyes glanced down at her hand.

"That is impossible, and youkai or hanyou with a pure aura would die." He said. Naomi shook herself from her trance and pulled her hand away.

"Yes, this I know. But only youkai die when they have pure auras. When hanyous manage to purify their auras…" She stopped herself and walked away.

"What happens?" Raijin demanded. Naomi turned around and smiled.

"I don't know. Some say that they will die, some say they will lose their youkai powers and become ningen. But no one can be sure, for there has never been a hanyou with a pure enough heart to purify their aura completely. You are Inuyasha are the closet I have seen, but there still lies darkness within both of you. I personally believe that if a hanyou were to purify their heart and thus their aura, they would tap into their true powers. But there has never been a hanyou pure enough…" Naomi stared at Raijin for a moment before leaving again. Raijin watched her go, her words echoing in his ears. He stared down at his claws.

"Inuyasha's darkness stems from his youkai side. But I have no youkai side." Raijin whispered. "So…where does my darkness come from?"


	35. Revelations

Broken Dreams

Chapter 35

Revelations

"Damn Raijin." Naraku hissed. He glared angrily at the severed clay doll of the incarnation Kagome had killed. "I knew I should have kept a tighter leash on him." Naraku turned his head to glare at Kagura. "And you…you are far too quiet." A glowing red orb appeared in Naraku's hand. "I trust you and Raijin are not together on his little betrayal?" He sneered. A quiver of fear slipped into Kagura's eyes, but she quickly whisked it away. She would not give Naraku the pleasure of knowing her terror. She could not refuse his will, but she would refuse him that much.

"Raijin left of his own free will, Naraku. As you no doubt know, I would know nothing of free will. How could I possibly have helped?" Kagura snapped back. Naraku glared, and gave Kagura's heart a squeeze, leering at the kaze-youkai as she fell to the ground. Seeing someone in pain always helped to calm him down. Kagura's heart may well have been a glorified stress ball to him. Naraku gave the orb another squeeze before he tucked it away safely into his kimono.

"Raijin is not my strongest incarnation, but he is more dangerous than then his predecessors." Naraku mused. Goshinkishi, Juromaru and Kageromaru were powerful, more so than Raijin. However, Raijin had something they did not; intelligence. For all their power, Kageromaru and Juromaru were basically stupid, and Goshinkishi's arrogance led him to death at the hands of Inuyasha's blood-thirsty youkai side. But Raijin possessed no such weakness. The only weakness Kagura possessed was her lack of loyalty, but her heart had quickly put her fate in Naraku's hand- literally. Every incarnation he had created was but a test. They were tests to create a powerful, intelligent, loyal incarnation that would be strong enough to kill Inuyasha and all others who might oppose Naraku's wrath. Well, Naraku finally got the incarnation he sought, a powerful, intelligent servant. A pity Raijin was lacking in the loyalty department.

"I will not let him get away with this." Naraku growled. "But now, Inuyasha and that cursed miko have a powerful ally with them. And all I have is _you_." Naraku shot a look of disgust at Kagura. "And there are not enough excess youkai parts within me to create another creature to kill Raijin. That bastard has truly cost me dearly."

"Master Naraku." Kanna said softly, appearing next to him. Naraku glared at Kanna before turning his attention to the image appearing in her mirror. A slow smile curled its way onto Naraku's foul lips. No more explanation was needed- Kanna's message was loud and clear.

"Now _there's_ an idea…"

- - - - - - - - - -

"You mate will surely have rested for the night, wolf. I assure you, she won't being leaving you any further behind tonight. Rest, and you may leave to continue your search for her later." Yoshi coaxed. Kouga growled.

"I don't need to rest, I just need to find Kagome!" He snapped. He noticed Miroku staring at him warily, but he ignored it. It was driving him mad. Kagome's scent had led Kouga to a cave. A cave that had recently been lived in, but abandoned a few days prior, now more than a week. Why, Kouga didn't know and didn't care. But that same scent was there, although it was obscured with some sort of foul smoke and dried blood. But it was the same scent. Kouga knew that scent, but from where?

"You two." Kouga snapped. "You two will stay here. I'm going on to the village, I'll see if I can find Kagome. I'll come back when I do, until then, you stay here." Kouga marched out of the hut.

"Well, if he is leaving then we can at least rest here for a few days while Kouga attempts to track down Kagome." Miroku said. The miko had been missing from their party for over 2 weeks, and Kouga grew more irritable with every passing day. Miroku welcomed the break.

"I pray to Kami he does not find her." Sango whispered. Miroku frowned. Sango had barely said a word since he had returned with Kouga.

"I share your feelings Sango. Kouga may yet take his anger out on us, but as long as Kagome is same, I shall endure his leadership." Miroku replied. Sango shook her head.

"Miroku, you don't understand…Kagome…" She looked at Yoshi. "You are certain that is the name she called him?" She pleaded. Yoshi nodded. "Then there is more at stake then Kagome here."

"What do you mean Sango?" Miroku asked.

"Inuyasha, Miroku…he…I think he's alive. I think Kagome found him." Miroku gasped.

"But…surely he had been killed by Kouga so long ago." Miroku protested.

"Yoshi said Kagome found an old friend in this valley, and she called him Inuyasha. Miroku, we never did find his body. I don't know how, but somehow he…"

"If he's alive, then where is he?" Shippo shouted from Miroku's lap. Miroku was stunned. He could have sworn the kitsune was asleep. Apparently not. "Of he's alive, we have to find him!" Shippo cried.

"That's why I'm worried." Sango explained. "He's traveling with Kagome again." Shippo gasped as he made the connection.

"But…then if Kouga…" He stammered. "Oh no…"

- - - - - - - - - -

_"I know that scent, I know it from somewhere!" _Kouga thought, walking swiftly through the forest. Although he wanted to get to the village by dawn, his legs were not happy about it. Even with the Shikon-no-Kakera imbedded in them, they were tired after running around the valley all day. Kouga decided to travel to the valley end before resting.

"It's a person, I'm sure of it." Kouga mused. Then, a flash of inspiration came to him. Kouga actually stumbled to the ground at the thought. "No…it couldn't be…" Kouga shook his head and tried to convince himself he was wrong. But it wasn't working. He knew that smell now- three years ago, it had been intertwined with Kagome's as a scent claim, a mocking superficial way of showing your intended. Kagome had been the intended of another three long years ago. But…he couldn't possibly…Kouga's lip curled into a snarl, his eyes flashing red briefly.

"Inuyasha…" He hissed. He got up and kept trudging into the forest. There was no mistake about it, that was Inuyasha's scent that had been with Kagome's in that cave. It may have been someone else with an identical scent, but Kouga didn't really care. Whomever the smell belonged to, he wanted to find them. If Inuyasha was dead, then Kouga would take Kagome back, simple. If Inuyasha was somehow still alive…well, Kouga would just have to fix that. He had killed the hanyou once. He would do it again.


	36. Tallying the Shards

Broken Dreams

Chapter 36

Tallying the Shards

"I bid you good luck on your journey." Toga said, bowing. Raijin returned the gesture, but Kagome refrained from following suit. The monk had done nothing but insult Inuyasha and make her feel generally uncomfortable during their time together. Kagome was not sad to see him go.

"Same to you, Toga." Raijin replied. "I do hope your hatred of my kind is but a fog that will wash away from the cliffs in time." Toga snorted and turned, walking away into the forest. Inuyasha, Kagome and Raijin watched him vanish.

"Well good riddance." Kagome muttered. "So, what now?" Inuyasha looked down at his belt where Tetsusaiga was clipped.

"We deal with Naraku and Kouga before anything else." He said. "Raijin, you served Naraku for a short time. Where's his castle now?" Raijin looked up at the clouds.

"I am not sure of the name of the region, but it is a mountainous area. I can lead you there, but I believe it will be a journey of several days." He said. Inuyasha nodded.

"We'd better start moving then." He said. He picked up his pack and started walking. Kagome's pack was being left behind. It was decided they would travel light. Between Inuyasha and Raijin, hunting would not be a problem. Fire was easy enough, especially when a member of the group could create lightning at will. The only true supplies they were taking with them were a pot for cooking, and several healing herbs and medicines. Kagome also had her quiver and bow. Raijin had nothing but his kimono, but there was really nothing else to carry. Inuyasha had offered to handle it.

"What about Kouga and the jewel shards?" Kagome asked, jogging up beside the hanyou.

"If we find him on the way to Naraku's castle…I'll kill him." Inuyasha growled. Kagome gave him a confused look.

"I thought you said you didn't want to fight him?" She asked. Inuyasha sighed.

"I don't. But he hurt you, and I'm not going to let him get away with it." He explained. Kagome smiled.

"Thank you." She said. She reached out to grasp the hanyou's hand.

"As for the Shikon-no-Kakera, I'm not really concerned about it. Naraku has most of the jewel by now, I'm sure. Coupled with your shards, and Kouga's and Kohaku's, there may not be many left to find. There may even be none left, which means we just have to beat Naraku and Kouga to complete the jewel." Kagome nodded.

"Okay. We'll defeat them both, but what then?" Inuyasha looked down at his feet. He still wasn't entirely sure. His very first plan was to use the Shikon-no-Tama to become a youkai and win standing in Sesshomaru's court, allowing him to return to the western lands, and possibly even Sesshomaru's castle. Then he had wanted to become ningen, and live with Kikyo. After Naraku turned them against each other, he had wanted to become youkai again, but had no intention of returning to Sesshomaru's court. He had proven to the taiyoukai that they were equals, even if Sesshomaru would not admit it. And he had returned to the western lands in his travels with Kagome, and also had no desire to return.

"Inuyasha, what are we going to do?" Kagome asked, snapping the hanyou from his thoughts.

"I'm not sure, Kagome. I'm really not sure."

- - - - - - - - - -

Naraku walked through the forest, his eyes trained on the creature flying above him. The place where he stood was far from his castle, and far from Inuyasha or Kouga. But he had neither the time nor patience to deal with them now. He had other plans. The creature he was hunting was surely returning to its master. And right now, Naraku's plans involved her.

The creature reached a tree and circled around it a few times before floating up. Its small talons released a glowing white soul into the body of the miko in the boughs of the tree. If one had not known better, one would think this miko was sleeping. But Naraku knew better. He stopped a few feet from the tree when the miko opened her eyes to fix an indifferent stare upon him.

"Hello, Kikyo. It has been a long time." Naraku chuckled. Kikyo stared for a moment before nodding.

"Yes it has, Naraku. Although it has not quite long enough for my tastes." Kikyo slowly swung her feet to one side and slid down to the ground in one smooth movement. One thing Naraku had to compliment Kikyo on, no matter what she was doing, she always managed to maintain a sense of grace about her. Naraku quickly squashed those feelings. Damn that Onigumo. Even with his heart in another body, Naraku still felt his lust.

"Nor mine, but there is a matter of importance I require your help with." Naraku admitted. A small smile began to grace Kikyo's lips.

"No doubt you wish for me to slay Inuyasha for you." She said. Naraku silently cursed, but attempted to hide his surprise. How Kikyo knew Inuyasha was alive, he didn't know. But he could not let his trump card be wasted.

"Slay Inuyasha? Surely you are aware he has been dead for years, Kikyo." Naraku replied. Kikyo chuckled and shook her head sadly.

"Do you think me a fool Naraku?" She asked. One of her shinidamachu floated to her hand. Kikyo turned to it and whispered something to it before lifting her hand to send it on its way. "My shinidamachu are quite helpful when I wish to keep track of the souls that are waiting to pass to the other realm. And there are quite a few…particular souls I keep my eye one. Had Inuyasha been killed, I would have known about it when his soul became free of its body." Kikyo explained. Naraku smirked.

"You watch many souls? Would one of them perhaps belong to a pathetic imitation of you?" He asked. Kikyo narrowed her eyes.

"I will not slay Inuyasha for you, Naraku. Nor will I slay Kagome. You had best watch your words around me. The girl is not as powerful as I, Naraku, but she is powerful nonetheless. Either of us could kill you in an instant. Why on earth would I make your task of collecting the shards of the jewel any easier by eliminating an enemy of yours?" She hissed. Naraku silently shifted his feet. Kikyo's unnerving perception of his motives, combined with Onigumo's feelings for her, was creating a rather unpleasant sensation for him. Not fear, of course, but Naraku wished to be rid of Kikyo's presence as soon as possible.

"Inuyasha and the miko both travel to me now." Naraku growled. "The boy Kohaku is dead, his shard mine again. And the wolf Kouga is tracking them, soon they will fight, and his shards will be with Kagome one way or another. Then I shall kill her and take her shards as well. But that is not all the shards, Kikyo. Give them to me now, or I shall kill you where you stand." Kikyo smiled.

"I am to assume that these are what you want?" Kikyo asked, reaching into her kimono. She removed a small brown sac and emptied its contents into her hand. Six glowing pink jewel shards slipped out.

"Give them to me." Naraku demanded.

"No." Kikyo said, placing the shards back into their sack. Naraku snarled and sent out three tentacles towards Kikyo's chest. Kikyo didn't even flinch as the tentacles flew through a shining pink barrier and crumbled to dust before her eyes. Kikyo drew her bow from her shoulder and placed an arrow on the drawstring, pulling it back.

"I will not give you the shards, and I will also not tolerate a second foolish attack, Naraku. Deal with Inuyasha and Kagome on your own, I will have no part in this. Now, leave." She said.

"Just your barrier blocked my attack, surely my barrier would block your arrow." Naraku laughed. Kikyo pulled the arrow back farther and aimed for Naraku's head.

"Shall we test your claim?" She asked. Naraku stared before turning to leave. Kikyo waited until he had walked several steps before releasing the string on her bow. The arrow imbedded itself in Naraku's neck and exploded with a flash of light. Kikyo lowered the weapon and walked forwards. She cursed under her breath and knelt to finger a charred clay doll. She touched it and watched as it crumbled to dust.

**Shinidamachu: Kikyo's soul collecting Youkai.**

**To dispell any confusion over Shikon-no-Kakera, let me explain. Shikon-no-Tama refers to the complete, whole Jewel. Shikon-no-Kakera refers to the shards of the jewel. Hope this clears things up for your guys.**


	37. Together

Broken Dreams

**I'm willing to bet a lot of reviewers will be pleased with this chapter.**

Chapter 37

Together

"If we can keep up this pace, we should be able to reach Naraku by the day after tomorrow." Raijin announced. Kagome yawned and nodded. They had been traveling all day, and Kagome was severely tired. Inuyasha had carried her on his back when she had lost the strength in her legs around noon, and with the seemingly tireless hanyou supporting her, and the equally tireless Raijin both traveling at a brisk pace, they had made good time to a small riverbed.

"Good." Inuyasha muttered. Raijin bowed and stood up.

"I shall search for wood for the fire." He said, walking back into the forest. Kagome grabbed some small sticks lying around to make a spit for the pot, and Inuyasha stepped into the river until the water was just above his ankles. Kagome looked up from her work and eyed the hanyou curiously. The water splashed up against his dirty brown hakama, and Kagome wondered what had happened to the fire rat robes he had always worn. They were supposed to be indestructible, but with Naraku involved, who knew.

Inuyasha reached to his waist and drew the Tetsusaiga. The rusty blade transformed into the legendary fang, and Inuyasha stared at the blade for a moment. He turned to the trees on the other side of the river, and drew the sword back over his head. With a grunt, he brought the blade down into the water. Five yellow bands of power lashed out from the sword and sliced across the water. Kagome gasped as the Kaze-no-Kizu tore up the foliage and created five large slashes in the earth.

"Was there a youkai?" Kagome asked, reaching inside the pack for her bow.

"No. I was just making sure I could still do that." Inuyasha explained. "Better now than when we're fighting Naraku or Kouga." He concentrated again and watched as the blade grew into condensed crystal. With another swing, shards of razor sharp diamonds flew from Tetsusaiga as the Kongosoha formed. Inuyasha watched the attack dissipate before turning back to Kagome.

"I want to make sure I can still fight like I used to." He said softly. Kagome nodded and got to her feet.

"Do you really want to rush into a fight with Naraku so soon after regaining your memories?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha nodded.

"If he hadn't kept me alive with the jewel shard until I could heal naturally, I would have died for sure. But he also made my life a living hell. I'm not letting him get away with that." He replied.

"I understand why you want to kill Naraku but…why Kouga?" Kagome asked.

"We need to get his jewel shards, and I'm betting he isn't just going to hand them over once he finds out I'm alive. Besides, he hurt you. He deserves death even more then Naraku." Kagome chuckled.

"Even after five years, you can't let the rivalry go huh?"

"This isn't about our rivalry Kagome." Inuyasha said. "This is about you. If Kouga hadn't done the things you've said he's done, I'd just take his shards and let him live. But not now. He's hurt you. I can't let you get hurt and not do anything about it." Kagome sighed.

"I want Kouga dead as much as anyone, but if I have to risk losing you to get it, I'd rather have him alive. I lost you once to him, and I don't want to lose you again." Kagome sniffed and threw her arms around the hanyou. Inuyasha returned the embrace with little hesitation.

"You won't." Inuyasha whispered. He reached to her neck and pulled back the locks of silky velvet hair there. He stared down at the brown-red bruise of Kouga's mark. Raijin knew how to break the mark. He had practically come out and said so himself, but he wouldn't tell Inuyasha. Why? Whatever the way was, there was no reason Inuyasha could think of for him not to tell.

The only clue Raijin had given was that he would find the way if Inuyasha loved her enough. But that made no sense. Of course Inuyasha loved her, but what did that have to do with the mark? Kouga, despite his actions, loved her. So by logical means, Kouga's mark was, as originally though, unbreakable. Unless he had misunderstood Raijin? Raijin had said that is he loved her, he would find a way. Maybe love wasn't the way; maybe it was just a way to find the real method of breaking the mark.

"Inuyasha?" Inuyasha snapped himself from his thoughts and looked down at the miko staring at him. "What's wrong? You just got so tense…"

"I was just thinking." Inuyasha mumbled. He ran a claw gently over the tender flash of the mark, and Kagome caught his meaning. "If I can ever find I way to break the mark, I will. I don't care if I have to go to the darkest depths of Hell, I'll find a way to free you." He promised.

"Why? You can't kill Kouga without killing me, and you've sworn your vengeance on him." Kagome said. "If you can kill him, I'd be able to rest in peace."

"I'm not going to let you die because the bastard wolf forced you to do something you never should have been forced to do." Inuyasha growled. "If it comes down to it, I'll put Kouga through hell, but I'll let him live. I'm not going to kill him if it means it'll kill you too. You deserve another chance at life without him. He forced you to be his mate. You deserve a chance to be with someone besides that asshole." Inuyasha was barely aware of the slight shimmer that had appeared in Kagome's eyes. Was he saying…

"Kagome, you're young and beautiful, you shouldn't be bonded to a man like Kouga. Not when you're this young, not ever. You deserve so much more then the fate he's trying to force upon you." Inuyasha said. Kagome smirked against his shoulder.

"Did you just call me beautiful? Did I just hear you compliment me?" She teased.

"Keh." Kagome smiled again and pulled back slightly, leaning up on tip toe to kiss the hanyou on the cheek. Inuyasha closed his eyes and turned to say something else when something warm and wet met his lips. His eyes flew open and locked on a pair on surprised brown ones. Oh, so _that's_ what he was feeling...He stared at Kagome for a minute, and she almost seemed scared. Inuyasha remembered this wasn't first time they had been like this. Their first time was Kaguya's castle. But he had been consumed by his youkai side. This time, he was coherent, and wanted to enjoy the moment.

He closed his eyes and pulled Kagome closer to him, his hands sliding down to his hips. Kagome tilted her head and reached up to clench her hands in the cloak the hanyou now wore, her hands caressing his shoulder blades. With battles with their two greatest enemies on the horizon, the odds were that at least one, maybe both, of them were going to die. That in mind, both of them just let time melt away as they took comfort in an incredibly rare moment of peace.

- - - - - - - - - -

A large pile of logs in hand, Raijin walked back to the river. He had heard the explosions there, but there was no smell of blood, and he assumed Inuyasha had been training. Either for his fight with Kouga or Naraku, it didn't matter, he had to be in shape for both. Raijin was more then ready to help the battle with either, although he would leave Kouga to Inuyasha if he could. The hanyou deserved revenge, and unless death threatened him, Raijin wasn't about to interfere with their feud.

Raijin emerged from the forest and froze. He gulped at the sight before him. Near the river bank stood Inuyasha and Kagome, arms wrapped around each other and lips pushed together is a passionate kiss. Raijin blushed and quickly turned away. He carefully and quietly piled the wood he had gathered next to a tree before briskly walking into the woods.

"Well, I wished they had picked a moment for that when I might not have been watching." He muttered. He smirked then as he remembered that Inuyasha had yet to discover how to break the mark. Even if he wasn't aware of it, he might find out how to by accident. "But all things considered, I'd say it's a step in the right direction."


	38. Thoughts of Dread

Broken Dreams

Chapter 38

Thoughts of Dread

_"Naraku and I are cut from the same fabric." _Raijin mused. He cast a glance over his shoulder. Oddly enough, Inuyasha and Kagome had been rather quiet all morning, and with mid day fast approaching, they showed no signs of communication. _"I hope they do not regret the intimacy they shared last night. Surely Inuyasha does not, he loves Kagome. However, I have not received any clear indication of her feelings for him, if any." _Raijin looked forward and shook his head clear.

_"It matters not. As tragic as their situation may be, it is not my duty to play Cupid to a hanyou and miko. I must now focus on the task of defeating Naraku." _Raijin was scared. Yes, scared. Naraku had created him with confidence to prevent such an emotion, but even the hardest people of all feel fear at some point. _"Naraku is my master, as much as I loathe it. If he were to die, I may yet go with him to the grave. Kagura believed his death would not result in hers, but then, she and I are not the same. She is full youkai, and Naraku created me to be a hanyou. Naraku's death may affect me differently then it would her."_

_"I shouldn't have kissed her." _Inuyasha growled. He was tempted to look over his shoulder at Kagome, but forced himself to keep his eyes trained ahead. _"She hasn't said a word all morning. Stupid baka, I probably scared her off." _True enough, the kiss wasn't anyone's fault at first; Kagome had aimed for the cheek, and he had accidentally turned to meet her on the lips. _"Yeah, and it's not like I didn't enjoy it. Damn it, she probably is scared of me now. She goes through all that shit with Kouga, than I practically pounce on her. I should have pulled away."_

Inuyasha, after much embarrassment and adverted gazes last night, has finally chosen what to wish for on the Shikon-no-Tama. He had not yet told Kagome, but he was sure she would approve. After what she had been through, she deserved what little happiness he could give her. _"I'll miss her, but she'll be better off. I'll manage, I always have, even before Kikyo and this whole mess with the jewel started." _It had been some 60, maybe 70 years-counting his fifty years against the Goshinboku- since Inuyasha had started his search for the jewel. Hell, he was some 200**(1)** years old now, give or take a few. The search for the jewel had taken up almost a quarter of his life. Giving it up wouldn't be easy, but then, when he had started his search, his hadn't figured it would be such a task.

_"I had a life before the jewel, I'll be fine once it and Kagome are gone." _He consoled himself. Although come to think of it, he wasn't sure what he did before he had met Kikyo. His memories back top when he first met the priestess were intact, but before that…he had fragments, bits and pieces of memory. He remembered a beating from Sesshomaru for leaving the castle. He remembered playing with a village girl who later shunned him when she realized he was a hanyou. But for the most part, there was nothing. _"I'll manage. I'll be fine, I will be, I have to be. I have to be strong. I've always known Kagome would leave once the jewel was complete, that's always been the plan…right?_

Inuyasha stumbled slightly as he doubted his own words. Kagome had never mentioned anything about what _she_ wanted to do when the jewel was complete. He had figured she wanted to simply return home to her world of luxury. But that was before he had figured out her feelings for him, and his feelings for her. He had thought that she might stay with him in the feudal era, but Inuyasha couldn't have it. He wouldn't force her to abandon her family, her home, just for him. If he did something like that, he was no better then Kouga.

_"Damn it, why doesn't he say anything?" _Kagome silently fumed. _"I knew it, he hates me now!" _And no wonder, she was Kouga's mate after all. Sure, he wanted to help free her from Kouga, but mate with her? Heaven forbid Inuyasha lower himself to even kiss damaged goods like her. _"He's sorry it happened, so why is he acting like it's his fault? I'm the one who kissed _him, _not the other way around. Say something you baka!"_

After his little speech about doing anything to break her bond with Kouga, Kagome had almost started to think it was personal for him. Maybe he didn't want her to be Kouga's mate because he wanted her to be his own mate. Like that was likely by any means. She had betrayed him, just like Kikyo. Why on earth would he want her as a mate?

_"I guess he doesn't have any feelings for me after all." _Kagome thought sadly. Her feelings for the hanyou had faded slightly over the past three years, but after a surprisingly short time with him, her feelings had blossomed back into love. She actually liked the new Inuyasha. Granted, his occasional insults were endearing, but the new hanyou was nothing like that. He was gentle, considerate, and while his attitude and language were regressing back into familiar territory, he was overall a better person. Kagome wouldn't wish for any reason that Inuyasha be forced to undergo his six months in hell as Naraku's prisoner, but it had seemingly made him a better person. She just wished it hadn't been through the loss of his hair, ear and fingers.

If he didn't know what he wanted to wish for when they finally got the jewel completed, she knew what her wish would be. She planned to wish Inuyasha back to his old self, without all the deformities Naraku had forced on him. Inuyasha didn't deserve such pain and suffering that was sure to happen when others met him. Naomi and the other mikos at the village they had left yesterday were shocked at the hanyou's appearance, but they grew more understanding when she had explained his encounter with Naraku. The looks on their faces at his half a head of hair, their discomfort when they saw his missing fingers, the realization that he was missing an ear…Kagome was not going to force him to endure such barbs for the rest of his life.

_"It will be a quarter-moon tonight. Why does my blood tremble at such a thought? There is nothing special about this night, so why do I fear the coming darkness?" _Raijin said to himself. There was something unnerving approaching, something he felt in his soul. Something about tonight was making him nervous

_"I can't let myself force her like that again. I won't make her love me, I can't. If she loves me or not doesn't matter. I know my wish, and her feelings won't change it." _Inuyasha told himself.

_"Damn it, doesn't he feel anything for me? I know he doesn't love me, but can't he at least care a little about me?" _Kagome silently pleaded. Lost in their own thoughts, the trio marched on to what was most likely going to become their graves- Naraku's castle.

- - - - - - - - - -

"So you have not located the castle yet?" Kikyo asked the shinidamachu before her. Speaking in some sort of way only Kikyo could hear, she lifted her hand and let the creature float away. "Continue searching." She ordered. Her soul-collectors were scouring the area, looking for where Naraku was hiding. For him to send a puppet after her, he must be nearby.

If he was desperate enough to seek her help killing Inuyasha and Kagome, then they must be nearby as well. Kikyo was somewhat happy to learn Inuyasha was alive. Her love for the hanyou had left, and she was sure the same could be said of his feelings for her. But he was powerful, and one of the few creatures Naraku fears, along with herself and Kagome. His death would not be a good thing, especially when the jewel was close to completion once again.

She knew Kagome had several shards. If she was to take them, or give Kagome her own shards, Kikyo had not yet decided. The youkai Kouga also had two. Kikyo had heard that he had mated Kagome, so she would have to wait until after Naraku's defeat to kill Kouga, lest Kagome die as well and not be able to assist in the fight against Naraku. And with Naraku's shards, she was sure there were not many left. She had stretched her powers to their limits, and other then Kagome, Naraku and Kouga, she sensed no other shards for miles. It seemed that unless fortune once again intervened, the jewel was finally going to be completed after five years of waiting.

A shinidamachu floated down to her and began speaking in its hushed whispered.

"You have found him?" Kikyo asked. The creature confirmed its findings, and Kikyo gathered her bow to her. "Take me." She commanded. The other youkai circled her and lifted her into the air. It was time to correct a 55 year old mistake.

**1: As I believe it is stated in the third Inuyasha movie, our fav hanyou is 150 years old. With the 50 years on the God Tree, that's 200 years. Looks pretty damn good for his age huh?**


	39. Only You

Broken Dreams

**Chapter dedication to 'YourBeautifulDisaster', who was my 600th reviewer.**

**Even more cool, I am now on 100 Favorite Author lists! Yeah me! Oddly enough, Broken Dreams is on 91 Favorite Story lists. Hm…my story is almost more popular then me!**

**An extra long chapter for you guys. Trust me, the long wait was definitely worth it!**

Chapter 39

Only You

"We'll stop here to camp for the night." Raijin muttered, stopping. Inuyasha and Kagome also came to a half. Inuyasha lifted his head and sniffed.

"I think there's a hot spring near by." He said. He glanced at Kagome out of the corner of his eyes, catching her gaze with his. And to the relief of both, neither broke the look. "It's been weeks since you had a decent bath. I imagine you'd want to go?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome bit her lip. The last time she had had a hot bath was about two weeks before she got separated from Kouga and her friends. And even then, baths were less common then before, mostly because Kagome tried to avoid them. Kouga usually bathed with her, and that inevitably led to activities besides bathing.

"Sure, I guess. If you wouldn't mind keeping watch?" She replied. Inuyasha nodded.

"Raijin, would you want to set up camp?" He asked, turning to the hanyou. He frowned when he saw Raijin's current state. The raiden-hanyou was sitting against a tree, breathing deeply and eyes wide. Inuyasha ran to him and knelt down. "Raijin, what's going on?" He asked. Raijin swallowed.

"I…I'm not sure." He replied. A beam of sunlight struck Inuyasha in his scarred eye, and he looked away, raising a hand to block the light. The sun dipped low and vanished beneath the no-longer distant mountains where Raijin was leading them. Inuyasha blinked away the light and turned back to Raijin. And gasped.

"What…what happened to me?" Raijin asked shakily. He slowly raised a hand. A human, clawless hand. Raijin's sun-gold hair had dulled to dirty blonde. His shining eyes darkened to light brown. He looked himself over and struggled for words. "I…I'm…"

"Human." Kagome whispered. Inuyasha and Raijin looked up at her. "You don't have a youki anymore, it's gone. You're human." Inuyasha stood up and stared at the still colored part of sky where the sun had just set.

"It's your human night." He muttered. "It always feels weird the first time. I think, I don't remember my first night fully. You get used to it though." Raijin nodded and slowly stood up. He took in a quick breath through his nose.

"Is this what it's like to be human?" He asked, looking up at Inuyasha.

"Weak nose, weak ears and weak eyes? Yeah, I remember those symptoms alright." He said. Raijin squinted into the distance and blinked rapidly before squinting again. He reached up and rubbed his ear, frowning.

"It feels weird…"

"Like I said, you get used to it. It's not so bad after a while." Inuyasha said. He remembered that some of his human nights were actually his favorite. It was the one night his human side overrode his inner defenses and let him spend time with Kagome. All in all, weakened senses usually were worth a night of peace.

"I'm going to bathe." Kagome said. "That is, once you show me where it is?" She asked. Inuyasha nodded.

"Will you be okay here by yourself Raijin?" He asked. Raijin looked up from his human hands.

"What? Oh yes, I'll be fine, thank you." He mumbled, looking back at himself. "You take Kagome, I'll set up the fire and…that." He started looking around for firewood while Kagome and Inuyasha walked into the woods. Raijin looked himself over again and smiled. "So this is what it's like to be human…" Raijin held up his hand and mentally conjured a ball of lightning. Nothing happened. His powers were completely gone. His hanyou looks and senses were gone.

"It's like I'm normal…" Raijin said to himself. He chuckled and went back to collecting firewood, enjoying a brief moment where he was a normal human, not a hanyou created by pure evil for nothing more then killing. Tonight, even if for only tonight, Raijin was himself, and not some twisted spawn of Naraku. Nothing, Raijin was his own man.

- - - - - - - - - -

_'I'm not going too long, I'm not going to look, just a quick peek, NO!" _Inuyasha mentally slapped himself as he heard Kagome undress behind him and slip into the water. It wasn't the first time he had spied on her, but this time was different. He couldn't get attached, not when they were so close to defeating Naraku and completing the jewel. Not when Kagome was about to leave him…it was too bad that Kouga had destroyed the well. If not for that, Inuyasha would never wish anything on the jewel and merely keep the well open. But that wasn't much of an option anymore.

_"At least this time he's in plain sight so I can make sure he doesn't peep." _Kagome thought. She figured the hanyou frequently spied on her in the past when she bathed. She wasn't always sure when he did it, but she was sure he had done it a few times. It was rather flattering to imagine that the hanyou might actually _want_ her. Hell, the idea of sex, thanks mostly to Kouga, and also to a maturing mind, wasn't so scary. A 15 year old was terrified of sex, but an experienced 20 year old woman? Not so much.

Kagome forcefully shook her head. _"Forget it, you are _NOT _having sex with Inuyasha." _She scolded herself. Inuyasha looked up and sniffed the air.

"I think it's going to rain." He called.

"Oh? Should we head back to camp?"

"It probably won't rain until morning, you're fine." Inuyasha assured her. Kagome nodded and cocked her head at the hanyou. Ever since she had met him, there was one thing she had wanted to do, if only he would let her. And in his current position, he would be in much of a position to fight back…

Inuyasha was calmly sitting, waiting for Kagome to finish her bath. Then he felt a hand grab his hair and pull his backwards. Water rushed up to his scalp as he sputtered from the splash and looked around. Kagome's upside-down head filled his field of vision.

"What's the big idea?" Inuyasha demanded. "What are you doing?"

"Washing your hair." Kagome said simply. She gathered a handful of water and let it run down the clumps of matted grey. Inuyasha had to admit, the feeling wasn't unpleasant as the warm hot spring water washed over his scalp. But Kagome! She was nude, in the hot spring, and _right there_! Okay, in his current position, he couldn't see anything below her chin. But if his head had been a few more inches over the water edge, he would have been able to crane his head down further. A perverted part of his mind wondered if he could shuffle a little closer to the water, and Inuyasha wasted no time telling that part to shut up.

"God, look at all this." Kagome muttered, looking at all the dirt and general grime washing into the spring. The familiar silver of his hair was returning, but _god, _the state of it! "You never did take care of your hair properly." Kagome scolded, dragging a few strands between two of her fingers, grimacing at the build-up that was left.

"Well excuse me, I was busy forgetting who I was for the last three years." Inuyasha joked. Kagome snorted.

"And I was busy having sex with Kouga for three years, but I don't use that excuse." She shot back. The second the words were out of her mouth and Inuyasha jerked up, Kagome regretted them. She mentally kicked herself and reached to grasp the hanyou's hand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." She said softly.

"I know what I'm going to wish on the jewel." Inuyasha said suddenly. He turned to look at Kagome out of the corner of his eye, using all his willpower to keep his eyes on hers: where they should be. "I'm going to break the mark and send you back to your family." Inuyasha explained. Kagome blinked.

"Oh…ok…" She said, turning away. Inuyasha frowned and turned fully around, comfortable he wasn't going to see anything _too_ bad with Kagome facing away from him.

"What? You get your family back and get free of Kouga, I figured you'd have a happier reaction than 'oh'." Kagome bit her lip.

"I was going to wish you back to health." She said. Inuyasha snorted.

"I don't matter Kagome. I've been mocked for years, and that was before Naraku got his hands on me. I'll be fine."  
"That's not the point!" Kagome hissed, spinning around. Inuyasha gulped and squeezed his eyes shut as she clasped her hands around his. "You may be okay with it, but I'm not! I don't want you to have to endure any more insults, for whatever reason you get them! You shouldn't have to deal with them."

"It's a part of my life Kagome, I can live with it. You shouldn't have to deal with Kouga. You can go back to your home and find someone else. I don't want you to suffer."

"I'm not going home if it means I'd have to leave you to do it!" Kagome said. "I do miss my family, I've missed them every day, but not as much as I've missed you!" Inuyasha growled.

"Damn it girl, can't you be selfish just once?" He asked. Then Kagome's words sank in. "What did you say?" He asked, opening his eyes. Kagome smiled and tightened her grip on his hands.

"I never wanted anything more then you. Don't you understand? Every night for three years, I dreamed of you coming to save me. I can live without my family, I can live without showers and TV and my time. But you? Do you have any idea how much I missed you? I cried off and on for a week, I barely ate and almost never slept. I can't live without you, Inuyasha. You've been my world for five years, ever since I pulled out that stupid arrow. And I'm not going to let you kick me out of you life like that. I'm not going to lose you again." Inuyasha sighed and reached up to rub a hand over Kagome's cheeks.

"Kagome…I can't be your savior this time. Even if I can kill Naraku and Kouga, I'll probably die in the process. I can't be the man you need Kagome." Kagome turned her head slightly and gently pressed her lips to Inuyasha's palm.

"Then just be you. I don't care what you aren't, you're enough to me, and that's all I've ever needed; you." Inuyasha smiled, the first real smile he'd had in years.

"Kagome…" Any further words were silenced. Neither of them were sure who leaned forward, but one or both of them did. Inuyasha's other hand reached up to cup Kagome's cheek as their lips gently pressed against each other. Kagome moaned softly and reached a hand to tangle in his newly-silver hair. Inuyasha's tongue ran over her lower lip, and she eagerly opened herself to him, letting him taste her. Kagome pulled back and brought Inuyasha into the hot spring with her, never once breaking the kiss.


	40. Mates

Broken Dreams

Chapter 40

Mates

Inuyasha groaned and slowly opened his eyes. He sniffed and frowned. There was an odd scent in the air. It reminded him of Kagome's heat scent, but interlaced with it was his own scent. Inuyasha gasped as the memories came flooding back. He looked up. It was still night, but dew had started to settle. The smell of rain was stronger now. He looked around and found the girl he had spent the evening with.

Kagome wasn't lying too far away, curled on her side, still sleeping. Inuyasha looked down and gulped. Both of them were nude. He looked around and found Kagome's clothes still piled neatly where she had undressed. His hakama and shirt were thrown carelessly. His haori was floating in the hot spring, soaked. He glance around again and quickly retrieved the articles. He squeezed on his hakama and shirt, and decided to spread his hakama out on a rock to dry.

"Inuyasha?" Inuyasha looked over his shoulder as Kagome yawned. "What are you?" Then Kagome shivered and looked herself over. She squeaked and quickly threw her arms over herself to cover up her chest, crossing her legs in the process.

"Kagome…last night…" Inuyasha started. Kagome gasped as his words took effect. Inuyasha picked up her clothes and handed them to her, turning around afterwards. Kagome slipped into the blouse and gulped.

"Did we?"

"Yeah." Inuyasha confirmed. He bit his lip and frowned. There was an odd taste in his mouth. It tasted like… "Kagome, let me see your neck." He said, turning around. Kagome looked up from tying her hakama.

"Huh?" She asked, even though she was moving her hair away as she spoke. Inuyasha leaned in and sniffed. Near the collarbone, on the junction of Kagome's shoulder and neck, was a small bruise, two fresh, red marks in it. A bite mark. Kagome craned her head. "What is it?" She asked.

"I…I think I marked you." Inuyasha confessed. Kagome gasped again.

"Then that means…" She turned and uncovered the other side of her shoulder. There lay an older, lighter bruise. Kouga's marks. "Is it gone?" She asked, looking at the hanyou out of the corner of her eye. Inuyasha shook his head.

"No, Kouga's mark is still there." He said, confused. He shrugged it off and turned his attention back to Kagome. "Kagome…what happened…"

"I would do it again." She said, turning to face the hanyou fully. Inuyasha nodded.

"So you didn't mind?"

"Inuyasha, I want to be with you, even if only until Kouga dies." Kagome smiled and embraced him. "Thank you, for letting me…be with you." Inuyasha nodded and stroked her hair softly.

"I never thought you would want to do that with me." He admitted. Kagome's gaze darkened.

"You're the only one I've ever _wanted_ to do that with." She growled. Inuyasha's expression twisted to mirror her own.

"I know you never wanted him, Kagome. I know, and I swear I'm sorry it even happened once, let alone…don't tell me, I don't want to know, and I don't think you'd want to either. But I promise it's never going to happen again." He said. Kagome nodded.

"It happened too many times to count, so don't worry." She consoled him. Then her eyes widened. "Raijin!" Inuyasha looked back at the camp.

"I hope he's okay." He muttered. Inuyasha took a step towards their campsite when Kagome reached forward and slipped her hand into his. He looked confused for a moment, then smiled and kept walking, Kagome in tow. Raijin was found still human, snoring against a tree, a large stick across his lap. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow as Raijin snored loudly and shifted in his sleep.

"I didn't think he snored." Kagome whispered. Inuyasha grunted.

"Must be his human form." He replied. He knelt down and shook Raijin by the shoulder. "Raijin, wake…" Inuyasha was cut off as the stick swung and connected with his jaw. Inuyasha fell back and groaned. Raijin snapped open an eye and jumped up into a defensive position. He blinked and groaned as Inuyasha climbed to his feet.

"Sorry about that." Raijin said, tossing away his weapon. "I was asleep, and I have been edgy all night." Raijin looked up to gauge the time.

"It's alright, your human nights will do that to you. Besides, you're still just a human. It didn't hurt that much." Inuyasha said. Raijin nodded absentmindedly and frowned at the hanyou.

"You were gone for quite a while. I'm sure Kagome's baths do not take that long. Where were you two?" He asked. Kagome blushed and looked down at her feet while Inuyasha settled for coughing. Luckily, Raijin could take a hint. "Ah. Understandable then." He stepped over to Kagome and leaned near her neck. "So you did mark her?" Raijin asked. Inuyasha nodded. "Then Kouga's mark is broken?" He asked.

"What? No, both marks are still there. Why would my mark override Kouga's?" Inuyasha asked.

"I was informed by much of your past by Naraku. You are the brother of the Inutaisho Sesshomaru, aren't you?" Raijin replied. "You are a blood relative of the taiyoukai, Inuyasha. Surely you realize that being a youkai onikou has its advantages."

"So he's higher ranking then Kouga?" Kagome asked hopefully.

"I do not believe so, otherwise the wolf's mark would vanish. I do believe they share equal standing in the chain of command. If not, then I can offer no alternative explanation."

"So if she's marked by both Kouga and I, which ones of us is she mated to?" Inuyasha asked.

"I believe the first mark will dominate, until one of the two marking youkai is killed. Then, the mark of the living youkai takes command." Raijin explained. "If you did not want to kill Kouga before, I think it will be in your best interests now."

"So if you knew this stuff, why didn't you tell us?" Kagome asked, irritated. Here Inuyasha had been worrying about breaking the mark, when Raijin knew how to do it all along. Raijin chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Would you two have approached the situation the same way if I had?" He asked. Kagome snorted.

"Considering our history, he has a point." Inuyasha pointed out. "We beat around the bush about our feelings for three years. I doubt that degrading sex into a way to get back at Kouga would help things." Kagome giggled and nodded.

"Probably not." She admitted. She smiled and leaned up to kiss the hanyou on the cheek. "But all things considered, it worked out." Inuyasha smiled and kissed her on the nose.

"Yeah, I got no complaints." He said. Raijin watched them out of the corner of his eye.

_"It is good that they are happy. But there is still the matter of Naraku to deal with." _Raijin looked down at his hands, picturing them reverting back to his familiar claws, summoning a ball of lightning to pierce Naraku's heart. _"Creating life, only to take it…Naraku, you are truly evil. And you are also insane. I cannot tolerate those two qualities in conjunction. Even if it means my life, I will see you dead."_

"I'll get my powers back at dawn, right?' Raijin asked. Inuyasha broke out of his tender moment with Kagome to nod.

"Yes, you'll change back to a hanyou then." He confirmed. "Why?" Raijin sneered and clenched his fist.

"Because by tomorrow we'll be fighting Naraku. And I want to make sure I'll be a hanyou then. I want Naraku to suffer the same pain he caused us. You can have the kill Inuyasha, but before that, I want to hurt him. By the time I'm down with him, Naraku will be begging for death." _"Just like me."_

**Youkai onikou: Demon prince.**


	41. Fire Storm

Broken Dreams

**Wishing you a Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it, and a Happy Hanukah to those fans who celebrate it! Overall, whatever your faith, have a happy holiday! I figure there's about 10-15 chappies left, so I'm gonna get cracking! Updates over the next few weeks will be spotty though, because hey, December 25th, big day! Anyhow, enough with my ranting…geez I can blab, can't I?**

Chapter 41

Fire Storm

"Hold on tight, ok Kagome?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome tightened her grip around the hanyou's neck. "Are you sure we're close Raijin?" Inuyasha shouted. Above them, Raijin floated in his thunder-cloud form, occasionally sparking and flashing.

"Yes. Naraku's castle should be over this next mountain, we just have to make the climb." He boomed. Inuyasha nodded and jumped. Kagome clenched her eyes shut as the wind raced through her hair. She had forgotten what riding on Inuyasha's back was like. It was exhilarating, but also scary. Especially when he was traveling mostly vertical, and one slip would mean a premature end to the ride…

Inuyasha landed on an outcropping of rock, jumping back into the air as soon as he landed. Raijin had it easy, he merely floated up and over the cliff wall. Inuyasha had to take the hard route. He jumped again and missed his aim in mid air. He shouted and slipped down, letting go of Kagome's legs and digging his claws into the cliff, sliding to a stop. Kagome screamed as he arms went taut, as the two dangled from the cliff wall. Raijin floated to a larger outcropping and shifted back to hanyou form.

"Are you alright?" He called. Inuyasha grunted.

"Yeah, just peachy." He snapped. "Get Kagome, take her up with you." He ordered. Raijin nodded and dove towards them. Kagome eeped in surprise as Raijin's arm slid around her waist, pulling her to the side. Free from the extra weight, Inuyasha reached up and dug his claws in higher up, pulling himself upwards. He began scaling the cliff fairly quickly, his claws holding strong under his weight. Raijin watched him for a few moments before jumping up the cliff, Kagome in tow. Raijin reached the cliff before Inuyasha, and set Kagome down to reach down and help the hanyou up. The three companions caught their breath for a moment before Kagome stood up and stared out before them.

"Guys…" She said shakily. Inuyasha and Raijin climbed to their feet and stared out at the valley that was Naraku's domain. The cliff fell away into a steady drop into a deep valley. About 50 feet below, the air turned purple and thick with miasma. The trees grew gnarled and old, their bark cracking and their branches skeletal. It was as if someone had drawn a circle around the valley, and everything in that circle was dead or dying. Skeletons of men, youkai, and creature Kagome couldn't even imagine what they looked like littered the dry, rocky ground. And rising above it all, on a plateau about a half mile into the valley, Naraku's castle. A ring of black clouds tumbled and toiled high above them. They looked like storm clouds, except the force behind them was more malevolent then any thunderbolt or rainstorm. Kagome giggled. The scene of terror and death was something straight of one of the North American movies she had seen when she was younger.

"Great, miasma everywhere." Inuyasha growled. "How are we supposed to get it?"

"We aren't. I think that much would be obvious." Raijin replied. "The castle is impenetrable to all but those who possess the gift of flight. Namely, myself and Kagura."

"Well that's good for you, what are we gonna do? I can't take that much miasma." Inuyasha muttered. Kagome groaned and looked up. So close, they were so close now, but Naraku had finally outsmarted them. There was no way…

"What's that?" She asked, pointing. Inuyasha and Raijin looked up. Something light pink was floating down from the sky. It was small but growing bigger. And it was falling towards them. A breeze picked up, and Kagome shielded her eyes as the gigantic feather came to a rest on the ground a few feet away. Raijin sniffed it and narrowed his eyes.

"Kagura." He announced. Kagome looked at the large feather and gulped.

"I think we have our way in." She said nervously.

"Do you trust this?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome shrugged.

"Not really, but Kagura isn't Naraku's most loyal servant. She thinks his death will grant her freedom." Raijin whirled around to stare at her.

"Will it?" He asked anxiously.

"I'm not really sure. She's a part of Naraku, so she may die with him. But there's no way to tell until he's dead." Kagome replied. Raijin growled and stepped onto the feather. Kagome followed him, along with a reluctant Inuyasha. The second they were seated, the wind picked up and blew the feather towards the castle. Kagome looked over the edge at the pit of purple poison mist below and gulped. "Don't think about it, don't think about it." She whispered.

"Don't think about what?" Raijin asked.

"About how we'll be poisoned and die painful deaths if this thing drops us, right Kagome?" Inuyasha muttered dryly. Kagome winced and nodded. The feather reached the castle, and the three of them hopped off. Inuyasha and Raijin looked around and sniffed.

"Naraku must be somewhere inside." Inuyasha said. "Kagome, you come with me, Raijin, you try and find Naraku on your own."

"Ah, so you are the traitorous Raijin." A voice laughed. The three looked up. Perched on the gate of the castle was a tall fire-youkai in a black kimono. Two large black wings were folded neatly on his back. His claws were blood red, and his hair was also bright red, short and spiky. His red eyes flashed with amusement as the three below him readied their respective weapons. "Master Naraku said you were powerful, but you don't look it."

"Who are you?" Raijin demanded. The new incarnation grinned, showing off his fangs.

"I'm afraid that doesn't matter to you. The dead have little use for information." The youkai flung out his hands roared. "Kaze-no-Bi!" Inuyasha, Kagome and Raijin dove away as a wave of flame hit the ground where they had stood. Raijin growled.

"You two find Naraku, I'll deal with him." He said. Inuyasha and Kagome nodded and took off running across the courtyard. Raijin turned to face his new foe.

"Sacrificing yourself to save your friends? That's quite noble of you. Nobility is a foolish quality. Someday, it's going to get you killed." The incarnation snarled and leapt towards Raijin in a flurry of claws.

**A chapter dedication to the first reviewer to correctly name Naraku's new incarnation…yes, he has a name! But I wonder how many of you remember him from my other stories!**

**Miasma; Naraku's poisonous mist/gas**

**Kaze-no-Bi; Flame of the Wind**


	42. Loyalties

Broken Dreams

**Chapter dedication to whimsy007. Kagemusha is my OC from 'Love is a Fickle Thing**'**. Kagemusha is very loyal to Naraku, so I figured he'd be a perfect opponent for Raijin.**

**I got another flame. Basically, it said my story wasn't that great because everyone –especially Inuyasha- was OOC. I admit to that, everyone is OOC. This reviewer said a good fic expands on current characters and their personalities. I guess they've never read an AU, where most everyone is usually OOC. They were surprised that this story got so many reviews. Anyhow, considering I've got over 650 reviews, and only ever 2 flames, I think I'm doing something right here!**

Chapter 42

Loyalties

Raijin jumped to meet the attack, and the youkai and hanyou tumbled around the ground is a blur of claws. The two leapt away into the air.

"Kaze-no-Bi!"

"Kobushi-no-Raidin!" Ball of flame met ball of lightning, and the two attacks exploded. The firey youkai covered itself in a shroud of flame and zoomed at Raijin. Raijin summoned electricity to his claws and caught the youkai by the shoulders, throwing him away. The youkai quickly righted itself in mid air and laughed.

"Fool, do you really think you can beat the mighty Kagemusha?" The youkai laughed.

"I can sure as hell try!" Raijin snarled. "Raidin Yuri!" The thin lance of thunder missed as Kagemusha flew towards Raijin, releasing twin streams of flame. Raijin dove as the fire scorched black streaks in the ground.

- - - - - - - - - -

Inuyasha kicked down the door, Tetsusaiga at the ready. Right beside him, Kagome stood with an arrow notched in her bow. The two slowly entered the castle, standing back to back and turning, looking for the dark hanyou that called this castle home.

"He's not here." Inuyasha and Kagome spun and aimed their respective weapons at Kagura. Kagura flicked her fan over her face, leaving only her eyes showing. "Now be careful with those, you could put an eye out."

"Either stand aside or die." Inuyasha growled. Kagura raised an eyebrow and swept her fan away, snapping it shut. She flicked the fan out again, this time sending out a few small blades. The blades ripped through the wall, revealing a staircase descending down into the depths of the castle. An eerie light shimmered next to Kagura as Kanna appeared next to her younger sister. Kanna slowly walked down the hidden staircase, Kagura following. Kagura looked over her shoulder at Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Follow me." She said. Inuyasha shot a glance at Kagome, who gave him a confident nod. Slipping her free hand in his, the two of them followed the two youkai.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Why do you fight me? We are brothers in arms, we should ally to defeat the hanyou and miko!" Kagemusha growled, slashing a flaming claw. Fire-red met electric-yellow, and sparked as the two traded blows.

"I'd rather die then ally with Naraku! That vile creature shall never control me!" Raijin snarled, sweeping a kick at Kagemusha's feet. Kagemusha flapped his dark wings and flew into the air.

"He created you, it is his right to command you!" Kagemusha insisted, shooting a jet of flame. Raijin jumped to the side and leapt into the air. His claws caught Kagemusha's wing and dragged him to the ground. The two rolled before Raijin tore his claw free, bringing a leathery piece of Kagemusha's wing with him. Raijin stared in horror at the wing. _"No…." _Raijin cried out as a ball of flame hit him in the chest, sending him sprawling onto his back. Kagemusha stuck his foot on Raijin's throat, summoning a new fireball.

"You should have served Master Naraku." Kagemusha sneered. A burst of pink light caused both of them to snap their heads away to the castle gates. Kagemusha howled as an arrow tore through his shoulder. Raijin grabbed his ankle and flipped them over, grabbing Kagemusha's head. His normal sun-yellow eyes glowed even brighter. Raijin didn't even think twice as he gripped and twisted. Kagemusha's head fell limp to the ground. Raijin raised his hand to slash the youkai across the face, when he notice the lifeless look on Kagemusha's face. Raijin blinked, the yellow glow vanishing as he realized what he had done. Raijin looked up at the miko approaching him.

"I killed him…" He whispered. He fell to his hands and knees as Naraku's words came back to him. _"I created you to kill!" _Raijin looked down at his claws. Claws that had taken life. Even in his great rebellion against Naraku, Raijin had accomplished his wishes. Just as Naraku had wanted, Raijin had killed. Raijin choked on his on air and let an anguished cry loose into the air.

- - - - - - - - - -

"You picked the perfect time to attack. Naraku has been resting recently, reconstructing his body." **(1) **Kagura said. Inuyasha nodded, even though the wind youkai had her back to him. Kagome kept her arrow ready as Kanna led them down the passages under the castle. Finally, they came to a large wooden door. Kagura stepped aside and held out her hand.

"Hanyous first." She said, her lips curling into a smirk. Inuyasha glared and kicked open the door. Behind it lay a dark, damp room. Youkai body parts covered every corner, and the room reeked of decaying flesh. All the youkai parts led to the wall opposite the door, where a human torso lay sleeping. At Inuyasha's entrance, the crimson eyes snapped open to fix on the hanyou with a look of pure hatred. Inuyasha smiled.

"Naraku."

**I couldn't find a place to fit this in anywhere, but yes, Raijin has a full-youkai side, although his has yet to fully come out. This is what's up with the yellow eyes, and why he attacked Kagemusha's corpse. Raijin merely doesn't realize this yet. Speaking of Raijin, poll time! I know what I'm gonna do already, but what do you guys want to happen to Raijin? This has no impact on the story, but hey, come and vote!**

**Raijin should live on as a hanyou.**

**Raijin should be purified to live as a human.**

**Raijin should die when Naraku is killed.**

**1- As we find out, Naraku has his nights of weakness too. He just gets to choose when they are. His youkai parts all come out, and Naraku changed them to become stronger.**


	43. United They Stand

Broken Dreams

**Voting is done!**

**Raijin should die- 4**

**Raijin should live as a hanyou- 10**

**Raijin should be purified and become human- 8**

**Some reviewers merely said that as long as Raijin didn't die, that was alright, so I couldn't count all of them. But it's nice to know you guys like Raijin.**

Chapter 43

United They Stand

"I killed him…I killed him…" Raijin whispered. His ear twitched as a low, long sound of an arrow reached him. He looked up at the arrow aimed at him. "Are you going to kill me?" Raijin whispered.

"That depends. Are you an ally of Naraku?" Kikyo replied. Raijin shuddered and shook his head.

"No." He said. He looked down as Kagemusha's lifeless body. "Are you going to kill Inuyasha and Kagome?" He asked.

"That also depends. I hope that it will not come to that, however." Kikyo said. Raijin put out a hand and slowly climbed to his feet.

"I am Raijin. I was an incarnation of Naraku. I still am, although not by choice." He growled.

"I am Kikyo. I was the guardian of the Shikon-no-Tama. I no longer am, also not by choice." Kikyo said sharply.

"Kikyo? Then you are the undead priestess Inuyasha and Kagome spoke of briefly." Raijin gasped, surprised. Kikyo lowered her bow.

"If you fight Naraku, then I've no reason to kill you." She said, walking past Raijin. "I shall deal with Naraku. Stay out of the way, and be sure I don't find a reason."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Three longs years and now we stand here once again." Naraku chuckled. The various bloody youkai parts began to pulse and creep back towards their master, Naraku's kimono forming around him. "There was a time when I thought perhaps you could be my servant. I thought I could break you. I see now that was a mistake." Naraku's body finished reforming as the dark hanyou glared at Kagura. "And you, you traitorous little bitch. Even now, after five years, you still persist in defying me?" He sneered. "You have more guts then brains my dear."

"I'm a traitorous bitch? I beg to differ Naraku." Kagura spat angrily. "I cannot betray someone that I was never loyal to in the first place!" Naraku roared and began to extend his familiar brown tentacles. Inuyasha, Kagome and Kagura ran up the stairs as the tentacles quickly filled the small room and spilled into the hall. Kagura was halfway up the stairs before she spun around with a gasp. "Kanna! Run!" Kagura screamed. Kanna looked up at her younger sister with her normal blank expression as the tentacles wrapped around her and hid her from view. Kagura gritted her teeth and continued fleeing. Behind her, Kanna curled and vanished back into the hanyou from whence she came.

The roof of the castle splintered and cracked as Naraku's body broke through to tower in the air. Kikyo and Raijin gaped as he rose twenty, thirty feet in the air, a quivering mass of disembodied youkai, ningen, and hanyou parts. Inuyasha, Kagome and Kagura raced into the courtyard. Kikyo aimed and fired an arrow into the air. It struck a waving mass of flesh and exploded into a burst of purity. The youkai parts trembled and shifted form. Naraku's torso grew into a gigantic pair of jaws with 4 large, red eyes. Fangs burst from the sides of his mouth as glistening. His body grew ten long, spindly legs. 3 large tails rose behind him as Naraku fell on his chest, their razor-sharp points gleaming as a drop of poison dripped from their tips **(1)**.

"Kagome, where is he keeping the jewel shards?" Inuyasha shouted. Kagome looked Naraku over and pointed.

"There, there's a huge chuck of the jewel in his forehead! Right between his eyes!" Kagome screamed.

"Right. Kaze-no-Kizu!" Inuyasha slammed Tetsusaiga into the ground, five beams of energy racing towards Naraku. One of Naraku's tails leapt forward and met them head on, exploding from the energy. The tail quivered and shriveled as Naraku drew it back behind him. A pulse of energy surged to the appendage as the tail began to rejuvenate.

"You insignificant little hanyou, you think you can defeat me?" Naraku roared. His other two tails swung and sliced the air. Inuyasha dove as the two converged and struck the ground, a cloud of miasma spewing out on contact. Kagome coughed and covered her mouth as the poison spread. A pink barrier rippled around, purifying the poison in an instant. Kagome gasped and looked up at the miko over her head.

"Kikyo…" Kagome whispered. Naraku swung his head and snarled, drool dripping from his jaws.

"YOU!" He raged. Inuyasha Tetsusaiga again, but one of Naraku's legs lashed out and caught him in the chest. Naraku's newly regrown tail struck her in the shoulder. Kikyo stumbled back as poison surged into her body. Kikyo put both hands over the wound, the poison vanishing from her body. Naraku's tail rose again and slammed towards her. Kagome leapt in front of Kikyo and fired, the arrow striking the tail head on and shattering it. The few splintered, fleshy remains waved in the air as moment as blood and flesh rained below. Kagome drew another arrow and put every bit of purity power she could into it, releasing it at the tail. The arrow his home, and ten feet of tail vanished in its wake, the arrow tearing right through the tail length-wise. The end of the tail glowed a soft pink as purity raced along it. Naraku roared as the portion of the tail connected to his body withered and fell, the tail going limp as its master abandoned it. Kagome looked over her shoulder at Kikyo and nodded.

"That makes us even." She informed her. Kikyo nodded and got to her feet. Inuyasha jumped one of Naraku's other tails and landed beside them.

"Nice shot!" He said. Kagome smiled.

"Yeah. 1 down, 2 to go." She replied. Raijin and Kagura fought back as Naraku lashed them in his grasp, thunder and wind slicing up his tails, but the wounds healing as quickly as they were cut. A tail leapt at Kagura, and swerved to the side at the last minute, wrapping around her waist. Kagura screamed in pain, her fan falling from her grasp.

"I should have done this years ago!" Naraku screamed. Raijin leapt into the air and drug his claws along Naraku's tail, cutting four long, deep gouges. Naraku's tail fell to the ground as Kagura rolled away coughing. The tail shivered as the wounds healed over in seconds, the tail rising into the air again. Inuyasha growled and shot a glance at Raijin and Kagura.

"We can't do this alone!" He shouted. Raijin and Kagura nodded, and Inuyasha swung the Tetsusaiga. "Kaze-no-Kizu!"

"Kobushi-no-Raiden!"

"Ryuuja-no-Mai!" The three attack surged towards Naraku. Naraku's tails struck the air at a single point, a ball of dark purple energy forming between them. Kagome gasped as the Shikon-no-Kakera in Naraku's head pulsed.

"Inuyasha, watch out!" She screamed. The thunder and wind tore into Naraku's body, but left only flesh wounds. The tails sent out a wave of dark purple energy straight into the Kaze-no-Kizu. The attacks meant, and Naraku's kept going and slammed into Inuyasha's chest. The hanyou flew back and lay still.

"You see? I cannot be killed! You will all die here, just like Inuyasha!" Naraku laughed. "You cannot win this fight! It is already over!

"Over Naraku?" Naraku stopped laughing as Inuyasha climbed to his feet, using Tetsusaiga as a crutch. Inuyasha turned his head and spit out a clot of blood. "I'd say this fight's just getting started."

1- **Naraku's true form, as seen in the second Inuyasha movie. I just added a tail and 2 more eyes, since he's gotten stronger since then. I've also seen a thing where he looks like Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and heard that _that's_ his true form, but c'mon, giant spider/scorpion is just so much cooler!**

**Ryuuja-no-Mai: Dance of the Dragon.**


	44. How the Mighty Hath Fallen

Broken Dreams 

**Ever wonder why I made Raijin hanyou while all of Naraku's other incarnations have been hanyou? Heh heh… **

Chapter 44 

How the Mighty Hath Fallen 

"Kaze-no-Kizu!" Inuyasha swung and sent another wave of energy at Naraku. Naraku's tails snapped forward in a futile attempt to stop the blow. Naraku roared as the blow his him and knocked him full on his back. Kagome pumped her fist and cheered. Naraku's body shuddered as the legs cracked, reversing their joints. Naraku's head turned around fully as his tails grew back out of his rear.

"Ryuuja-no-Mai!" Kagura swung her fan and sent the tornadoes spinning at Naraku. The attack hit him square in the face. Naraku roared and charged forward, his ten legs moving incredibly fast. He snarled as one of his legs snapped out to grab Kagura.

"You little bitch." Naraku growled. Inuyasha leapt towards him, and Naraku swung, his tails catching Inuyasha in the chest and flattening him to the ground. Raijin tore at Naraku's face, his claws gouging into Naraku's far-left eyes. Raijin cried out as a foul liquid poured from the wound. His skin smoked and burned as Naraku's poison wreaked its havoc on him. Naraku snarled and lashed out his tail. Kagura gurgled as the sharp point dug into her throat. Naraku withdrew his tail and sneered as Kagura coughed blood. A floating red orb appeared above Naraku's head, and floated towards Kagura.

"You want your heart back so badly? Take it!" The orb slammed into Kagura's chest, and Kagura recoiled as warmth spread throughout her body. Then, Naraku struck again, and dug his tail into Kagura's new heart, the blade emerging from her back, dripping blood. Kagura fell limp, and glowed as Naraku absorbed her fallen body. Naraku laughed as Kagura's energy surged through him, giving him new strength. Kikyo and Kagome took aim and fired twin arrows of purity at the hanyou. Naraku stared at the arrows and laughed as a pink barrier rippled into place around him.

"That does it. Kongoso…ah!" Inuyasha's blade turned into pure crystal, and Naraku's tail lashed out impossibly far, wrapping itself around Inuyasha and dragging him towards Naraku's face. Tetsusaiga fell to the ground, its crystal blade shining.

"You have caused me quite a lot of trouble of the years." Naraku hissed. Raijin fired a ball of lightning, and Naraku summoned his barrier again. The hanyou was alone in his bubble with Inuyasha. "I am going to savor this." Naraku snarled as his other tail darted forward. Inuyasha twisted and Naraku struck his own tail. Poisonous blood and gas leaked out, and Inuyasha tumbled to the ground, coughing. Raijin took up position beside Kagome.

"We need the Kongosoha to neutralize Naraku's barrier." Kagome said.

"Is Inuyasha the only one who can use that sword?" Raijin asked.

"Only humans and hanyous can touch it, but the sword rejects anyone with evil in their heart. Inuyasha's the only one pure-hearted enough to use it." Kagome explained. Raijin growled, and the two stared at Naraku trying to pin down Inuyasha inside his barrier. Kikyo narrowed her eyes.

"I can see the scar." She whispered. Kagome and Raijin whipped their heads around to stare at her. "The spider scar of Onigumo…it's on his back. His powers may be weaker there, but I can't shoot through the barrier." Raijin bit his lip and spun around, running into the field. Four long tentacles shot from Naraku's injured eye and wrapped around Inuyasha's limbs. Inuyasha jerked and fought, but the tentacles tightened and held him steady in the air. Naraku's tail rose in front of him, razor-sharp stringer shining.

"I have waited years for this." Naraku laughed. "DIE, INUYASHA!" Naraku roared and surged his tail forward towards Inuyasha collarbone.

"KONGOSOHA!" Shards of diamond flew from Tetsusaiga towards Naraku's barrier. The barrier rippled and exploded as the diamond flew right through it. The attack speared into Naraku's legs, and sliced off the tentacles holding Inuyasha. The barrier down, Inuyasha stumbled away. Naraku snarled in pain and stared.

"No…it's impossible…" He gasped. Standing before him, kimono torn and hand smoking, was Raijin. The hanyou was breathing heavily and was immense pain, mostly because of what he was holding. The Tetsusaiga was clasped firmly in his smoking hand. With a cry of pain, Raijin ripped his hand from the sword and fell to his back. The hand that had held Tetsusaiga was blistered, burning and bleeding. Kagome and Inuyasha ran to his side. Kikyo aimed and fired. Her arrow tore through two of Naraku's legs, and the hanyou pitch forward with a groan.

"Raijin…" Kagome whispered. Raijin coughed blood and moaned in pain.

"That thing…really didn't like me." He muttered. Kagome stood up, Raijin's arm over her shoulder. Inuyasha picked up Tetsusaiga and stared at Raijin in wonder.

"How did you do that?" He asked.

"To be fair, all I did was swing it, you started the transformation. And even then, you see what touching it did to me." Raijin replied breathily, moving his injured hand slightly. Raijin groaned and slumped to the ground. Kagome knelt down and looked at his wounds.

"I'll take care of him, deal with Naraku." Kagome said. Inuyasha nodded and ran back to the hanyou. Kagome looked over Raijin's wounds. Poison was splattered on his kimono, and one of his hands had even shriveled up under the effects. The hand that he had used to swing Tetsusaiga wasn't much better.

"I…damn, that sword can take a lot outta ya." Raijin wheezed. "I…I'm gonna die, aren't I?" He asked. Kagome sighed and looked up at the hanyou ducking and dodging Naraku's tails. For the time being, she didn't have an answer.

"Why won't you just die?" Naraku demanded. Inuyasha ducked another blow as Naraku's tail dug another crater in the ground. Kikyo aimed and fired. Inuyasha landed next to her, and Kikyo shot him a look.

"I need you to carry me up on top of him." She said.

"What?" Inuyasha snapped. Kikyo growled and wrapped an arm around his neck. "You'd better know what you're doing!" Inuyasha shouted. He jumped towards Naraku's evading his twin tails.

"Get me on his back!" Kikyo shouted. Inuyasha jumped higher and landed briefly on Naraku's back, dropping Kikyo and diving for safety. Naraku roared and thrashed as he sensed the priestess on his back. Kikyo drew an arrow from her quiver and crawled to the spider mark.

"What are you doing?" Naraku demanded.

"I'm _un_doing a 50 years old mistake!" Kikyo said. She drove the arrow into the center of the burn. Naraku roared in pain as the purity spread into his body. Inuyasha and Kagome cheered as Naraku's body pulsed and lurched. Even Raijin lifted his head to look. Kikyo stood up as best she could and ran forward to the front of Naraku's body. Naraku growled.

"You will die!" He snarled. Kikyo tripped and fell on the back of his head. Naraku twisted his eye up as best he could to glare. Kikyo groaned and climbed to her feet. She looked up and smiled at then two hanyous waiting below. Kikyo took a step forward…

And gasped as Naraku's tail tore through her chest.

**I'm sorry if I made Raijin a little Gary-Stu-ish here, but think about it. He's hanyou. He has a good heart. He wanted to protect humans. I'm 70 percent sure Tetsusaiga would accept him. That other 30 percent made me hurt him. **


	45. Death

Broken Dreams

**Happy New Year Everyone! And now, I say in all seriousness. I don't care if I have to make the extra chapter longer to fit it in, but I promise you now!**

**Chapter 47, the Kouga and Inuyasha showdown you've all been waiting for!**

Chapter 45

Death

Kikyo froze in mid step, her eyes widening as the sudden pain. She looked down and moved her mouth a few times in a futile attempt to speak. The pained hanyou beneath her roared and flicked his tail aside. Kikyo slammed into the ground and lay still. Inuyasha gasped and ran to her side as Naraku groaned and struggled to remain standing.

"Kikyo…." The undead miko slowly lifted her torso up and turned her head to stare at the hanyou kneeling beside her.

"I'm sorry…" Kikyo whispered. "I should have killed Onigumo when I had the chance…50 wasted years…I'm so sorry, Inuyasha…"

"Kikyo…there's nothing to be sorry for. None of us thought hat an injured human bandit could cause so much trouble." Inuyasha said. Kikyo closed her eyes and sighed.

"Kagome…she loves you…and I know you love her…I'm sorry to both of you…all this time, wasted. If it wasn't for Urasuea and my resurrection…who knows what would have happened with you two?" Kikyo coughed and smiled weakly. "Inuyasha…don't grieve. I died decades ago…I've just been here on burrowed time. I died long ago in the past…Kagome is your future. Take care of her." A shudder ran through Kikyo's body, and the miko collapsed to the ground. Inuyasha lowered his head as a single tears slipped from his eye. Kikyo's body glowed a light blue as gleaming souls burst from her body. One hit Kagome in the chest, filling the young woman with new power. Raijin groaned and smiled.

"I guess…Kikyo's gone now, huh?" He asked. He tried to turn onto his stomach, but only succeeded in wearing himself out. Kagome shook herself from her stupor caused by Kikyo's second death and pushed Raijin on his back.

"Raijin, don't move." Kagome said sternly. Raijin's head lolled to the side, and he looked up at her from the ground. He didn't even have the strength to lift his head.

"Kill him…" Raijin coughed. "Naraku…kill…" Raijin groaned and coughed up a clot of blood to the ground. Kagome shook her head as the hanyou's chest rose with ever decreasing amounts of breath. The hanyou slowly closed his eyes. Other then the poison in his body, he was physically fine otherwise. But Naraku's poison was winding through his system, infecting every pore and orifice. Raijin was on his last legs.

"Raijin…" Kagome whispered, placing both her hands on his chest. "I'm sorry…for this. But I'm not going to lose another friend." _"Kikyo, wherever you are, I know you'll help me with this." _Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated as her hands glowed a soft pink.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm…not finished with you." Naraku growled, slowly rising to his feet. Inuyasha rose from Kikyo's body, his head bowed and his bangs covering his face and he turned to the hanyou rising behind him.

"You killed Kikyo…you killed Kagura…you killed Sango's family, you cursed Miroku's, and have caused endless pain to so many others." Inuyasha whispered. "You deserve to die." For the first time in his life, Inuyasha felt pity for Naraku. Pity. Naraku was going to die, here and now. And yet, he was still fighting a battle he never had a hope of winning. His time had run out. And still he was fueled by Onigumo's desires. Naraku was trapped in his own Hell.

"I cannot die!" Naraku roared. Inuyasha charged him, jumping into the air. Naraku's tails swung forward, and Inuyasha curled into a ball, Tetsusaiga held out. The blade sliced through the tails and dipped into Naraku's back. Inuyasha landed and ran, dragging Tetsusaiga along the flesh of Naraku's back. With a final swing, Inuyasha cleaved off the tails at their source and jumped off of Naraku. Blood and poison oozing from his back, Naraku collapsed to the ground, weakened but alive.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha called. Kagome stood from Raijin's body. "I want you to fire an arrow at me!" Naraku groaned and began to turn around.

"What, you've lost it!" Kagome shouted back.

"Trust me, do it!" Inuyasha insisted. Kagome winced, but drew an arrow from her quiver and aimed at the hanyou. Kagome closed her eyes and fired. Inuyasha readied Tetsusaiga and glared at Naraku, the Kaze-no-Kizu forming around the sword. "It's over Naraku." Kagome's arrow neared, and Inuyasha spun, catching the arrow point with Tetsusaiga. The arrow's power surged into the blade, and repelled as the Kaze-no-Kizu fired. The attack wrapped around the miko energy of the arrow, sparking and flashing. With a final explosion, the miko power and youki mixed, and the Bakuryuuha surged towards Naraku. The attack seared along his body and sliced deep into his veins. Naraku's head reared back in a final roar of agony as the dark hanyou exploded.

The dark clouds above flashed and rumbled as Naraku's body splattered about the courtyard of his rapidly disintegrating castle. The miasma in the valley surrounding the plateau glowed pink and vanished. The foul youki of the hanyou lingered for a moment before dispelling into nothingness.

Inuyasha lowered Tetsusaiga and sighed. The blade glowed and shrank back to its normal, battered form. Inuyasha walked to Kikyo's body, dropping the blade next to Kagome's arrow, silent tribute to the hanyou they had just vanquished.

"It's over…" He breathed. Kagome walked over to the head of Naraku. She drew an arrow and fired, the purity casting the flesh into dust. She reached down and picked up the large, shiny Shikon-no-Kakera that fell into the dust. She reached into her blouse and drew out the vial of shards she had.

"It's not enough." She whispered. Inuyasha cast her a glance and turned Kikyo over, reaching into her kimono. Withdrawing the small sack of shards, he walked back over to Kagome and emptied the contents into her hands. Kagome bit her lip. "It looks like it's enough…almost…" Kagome put both hands over the jewel and closed her eyes. There was a small flash of light, and when she removed her upper hand, the large shard lay glowing, her shards and Kikyo's fused into it. Inuyasha picked the jewel up between two claws and glared at the small sliver of missing jewel.

"Looks like there's only two left…" He muttered, looking at Kagome. Kagome caught on right away and nodded.

"Kouga."

**Bakuryuuha: Explosive Dragon Wave, also called the Backlash Wave. For anyone who wonders, why the Kaze-no-Kizu formed, the Bakuryuuha is a Kaze-no-Kizu that wraps around the attack and reflects it back. And while it usually requires Inuyasha reflecting youki energy to form, Episode 140 shows Kagome and Inuyasha fusing Kagome's sacred arrow with the Bakuruuha, forming the Hama-Bakuryuuha (Sacred Explosive Dragon Wave). **


	46. Parting Ways

Broken Dreams

Chapter 46

Parting Ways

"We're going to try and track down Kouga and get the last two jewel shards." Inuyasha told Raijin. "You can come along if you want." Raijin shook his head and brushed some of the dirty brown bangs from his brown eyes. The three were gathered at the base of the mountains a few hours after Naraku's defeat. And Raijin was ready to depart from them.

"No, thank you. I'm actually going to visit Miss Naomi again. I would like to join her shrine to…atone. Maybe if I am devout enough the Kami will bestow a new purpose on me." Raijin explained. Inuyasha inwardly sighed. Even human, Raijin hated his life. The hanyou had been cured on the poison seeping through his system, but at a price- Kagome's powers had not only purified the poison, but Raijin's youki itself. Raijin had expressed no discomfort over his fate, other then his occasional lack of concentration as he adapted to his new form.

"Raijin, what do you think your purpose is now?" Kagome asked impatiently. Raijin shrugged.

"I am not sure. When I served Naraku, my purpose was to kill. Now that he is gone, I find I no longer know what I am to do with my life, especially now that I'm human." Kagome smiled and placed a hand on Raijin's shoulder.

"You don't know what to do with your life? Welcome to being human, Raijin." She said. Raijin nodded and embraced her.

"Thank you, both of you. You've given me my own life. If you ever need anything, please, just seek my out, and I will do all in my power to help you." He promised. Kagome stepped back and nodded.

"Good luck with Naomi." She said. Raijin bowed one last time and walked into the forest. Kagome frowned. "Are you sure you'll be alright by yourself without a weapon?" She called. Raijin turned and shook his head.

"No." He said simply. "But then, what is life if you are certain of things?" He asked with a slight smile. He turned and continued his journey. Inuyasha watched him go and smiled. Raijin was very much tempted to join them on their search for Kouga. But he had his own search now. It wasn't for something you can find lying around somewhere. Raijin's search would take years, possibly his whole life. But he'd keep searching until he found what he was looking for. Somehow, Raijin knew he'd find it. He knew because of the last thing he had searched for, just after betraying Naraku. The thing he had found in the hanyou and miko behind him.

Hope. For a better world.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hope he comes to terms with himself. Just because Naraku made him doesn't mean he isn't his own person." He said.

"Yeah. Naomi was nice to us though. I'm sure that with her, he'll come to terms with himself." Kagome replied. "I'm more worried about Kouga at the moment." Inuyasha nodded.

"Yeah. We'll find him, I don't care if I have to hunt him to the far corners of the earth. He'll pay for what he's done." Inuyasha hung his head and sighed. "I'm sorry I couldn't have stopped him." He muttered. Kagome slipped her hand into his and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Stop apologizing. I just want to find him." She growled. "We're not too far from that hot spring we camped out before. I'd like to visit before we go looking for him. The last time we were there, I didn't exactly bathe that much…" Kagome trailed off and blushed, both of them remembering exactly _why _she hadn't done a lot of bathing. Inuyasha stepped in front of her and crouch down.

"Hop on." He said. Kagome wrapped her hands around his neck and gasped as he stood upright, his claws grabbing her legs. Inuyasha sniffed the air and took off through the forest. Kagome winced and clenched her eyes shut. She had forgotten he ran so fast. Thank god for hanyou reflexes: Kagome really didn't want to end up hitting a tree. It was only a minute later that he screeched to a stop. He set Kagome down and smiled. "Here we are." He said, smirking. Kagome glared at him and slapped his arm.

"You ran that fast on purpose, didn't you?" She snapped. Inuyasha stifled a chuckle.

"Hey, if your puny human senses were scared…" he stared.

"Oh I am so sick of that puny human crap!" Kagome yelled, lunging at him. Caught off guard the hanyou tumbled to the ground. Kagome sat up on him and grabbed his haori to yank him up to face her. "Puny? Who just got taken down by a human Mr. Hanyou?" Kagome teased. Inuyasha cleared his throat.

"Uh…Kagome…" He said nervously, looking both of them over. Kagome suddenly took in their situation. She had tackled the hanyou to the ground and was currently straddling him. "I hate to go to the gutter here, but…" Kagome bit her lip and climbed to her feet, pulling him up with her.

"Sorry. I didn't realize that…" Kagome said. Inuyasha nodded and hugged her.

"I know we've…you know, but it is kinda awkward, being so close to you. It's a little…weird." Inuyasha nodded.

"I know…I don't mind it." He said. He looked down and dipped his head to give Kagome a kiss. Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and kept him pulled down as her lips gnawed against his. Inuyasha finally pulled away for breath and stared at her breathlessly. Kagome wasn't much better off."

"Well…" She said breathily. "That was a little…"

"Disgusting." Kagome's eyes widened to saucers. She spun around and swore she felt her blood freeze. Inuyasha growled and cracked his knuckles. Kouga just stood there glaring at the two of them, his face full of poorly masked hatred. "You." He snarled. "I killed you."

"Really? If I didn't know any better I'd think I was still alive." Inuyasha shot back. Kouga sneered and turned his gaze on Kagome.

"Kagome, come here." The youkai ordered. Kagome shook her head.

"No. I'm not going anywhere with you." She muttered.

"I wasn't asking, that was an order from your mate, come here now!" Kouga growled.

"You never should have mated with her." Inuyasha yelled. "You never finished the battle, Kouga. You have the kill the rival male to claim to female, and you didn't." Inuyasha drew Tetsusaiga and stepped in front of Kagome. Kouga sighed and looked away.

"That's true. I didn't." He admitted. "I admit, I never truly killed you. That's one mistake I don't intend to make twice." With a final snarl of rage, the youkai snapped out his claws and lunged.


	47. The Final Battle

Broken Dreams

**I was gonna make the Inu/Kouga fight 2 chapters, but I won't, since A: you reviewers would maim me for it, and B: The fight isn't long enough for 2 chappies. But don't worry, I made it as bloody as I possibly could. Yes, there is blood, and there is pain. And there is also one final twist in Kouga's fate…**

**This entire story is hereby dedicated to…you guys! You've made this the most popular story I've ever written, and now it's over 60000 words long. So this story is dedicated to everyone reading it! Without you guys, there would be no story.**

Chapter 47

The Final Battle

Inuyasha whipped up Tetsusaiga to block Kouga's claws, but the wolf's momentum sent him sprawling on his back. Kouga slashed and raked a gash down Inuyasha's chest. He snarled and hauled the hanyou to his feet, Tetsusaiga falling to the ground.

"You should have stayed dead dog shit!" Kouga roared. Inuyasha grabbed the wolf's wrists and pulled them out, slamming Kouga's head into his own. Kouga stumbled back, and Inuyasha spun around, grabbing Tetsusaiga and swinging it with him. Kouga jumped back, a thin slice appearing across his stomach. Kouga growled and leapt forward again, claws out. At the last second, he pulled his arms in and rolled, catching Inuyasha by surprise and sending the hanyou down again.

"Still as slow as shit." Kouga sneered, watching him climb to his feet. "You never could beat me half-breed, and you never will." Inuyasha gritted his swung teeth and swungTetsusaiga. Kouga drew his own blade and swung, narrowly deflecting the blade **(1)**. Inuyasha swung again, and Kouga backflipped, kicking the blade out of Inuyasha's grasp, leering as the blade clanged, sticking in the ground behind them. Inuyasha cast the sword a glance and let it go, leaping towards Kouga and slashing.

Kouga grabbed his wrist and hauled the hanyou in a punch. Inuyasha spun and sliced the air, missing Kouga's neck by millimeters. Kouga punched and landed a hit square in Inuyasha's half-closed eye. The hanyou stumbled back, and Kouga jumped in the air, smashing his heel into Inuyasha's chin. Inuyasha's head snapped to the side as he fell. Kouga looked at him and snorted.

"You're looking more like a freak then I remember." He taunted as Inuyasha got up. "What happened?" Inuyasha narrowed his good eye and growled.

"Nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you!" He snarled, spinning around. Kouga sliced his sword at Inuyasha's oncoming claws. The blade cut into knuckled before the metal bent and broke under Inuyasha's blow. Kouga spun around with a kick, and Inuyasha locked his claw around Kouga's ankle, using his momentum and swinging the wolf to the ground. Kouga growled and kicked himself up, backflipping onto his feet and slamming both his feet into Inuyasha's chin, knocking the hanyou back. Kouga kicked and Inuyasha ducked under his foot, springing up in a fierce uppercut to Kouga's chin. Kouga stumbled into a tree and shook his head. He turned his head and spit a clot of blood to the ground before baring his claws and stepping forward.

The youkai and hanyou traded slashes, most missing but many meeting their mark. Slivers of skin ruptured and tore in Kouga's leg as Inuyasha gripped and pulled. Four deep gouges raked down Inuyasha's chest. With a spinning kick, Kouga sent the hanyou flying into the hot spring. Kouga gingerly inspected his leg before looking in the spring. He sniffed and gasped.

"No way…" He whispered. Inuyasha reached out a clawed hand and pulled himself to the ground, his claws growing longer as they ripped up the earth. His lips curled back in a feral snarl as his eyes glowed blood red. Kouga took a step back and shook his head. "It's impossible…you're a hanyou!" He shouted. Inuyasha chuckled and reached down to lick Kouga's drying blood off his claws.

"You want to kill me Kouga?" Inuyasha growled darkly. "Then do it." The hanyou-turned-youkai leapt and caught his claws in Kouga's chest, forcing the wolf to the ground. He sliced at Kouga's face and left 3 slices across the wolf's nose and cheek. Kouga grabbedInuyasha by the hair and backflipped, sending the youkai overhead to slam into the ground. Inuyasha jumped to his feet and slammed the wolf in the headbutt. Kouga stumbled back, and Inuyasha wrapped his claw around his neck, pulling the wolf into the air before slamming him into the ground **(2)**. Inuyasha made a fist and punch, Kouga rolling aside as the fist slammed a small hole into the ground. He jumped on his hand and spun, landing a swift double kick to Inuyasha's chin. The youkai fell to the ground and groaned. Kouga stepped forward and fell to his knees, pinning the youkai's claws under him. Kouga sneered and slashed Inuyasha in the back. Inuyasha's head snapped back in a howl of pain.

Kouga sneered and slashed again. And again. And again. Inuyasha roared as his back was lacerated under Kouga's blows. Kouga stopped the slashes and settled for punching, slamming his fist into the youkai as hard as his could, the force pushing more blood from the numerous wounds, staining Kouga's knuckles. Kouga cupped his hands into a club and slammed it into the youkai's head, knocking it to the ground. Kouga climbed to his feet and pulled Inuyasha up to face him.

"You think you could beat me, you worthless piece of shit?" Kouga roared. He landed an uppercut along Inuyasha's chin, claws out and raking along Inuyasha's chin, the attack opening scars that had healed three long years ago. Inuyasha hit the ground heavily and slid along the dirt. He groaned and tried to climb to his hands and knees before collapsing back on the ground. He looked up, a flash of recognition shining in his eyes as he noticed the Tetsusaiga a few feet away.

"Inuyasha, grab the sword!" Kagome pleaded. The weakened youkai crawled along the ground, reaching for the Tetsusaiga.

"Is this the kind of man you love Kagome?" Kouga demanded. "Weak, stupid and hanyou? I offered you love, devotion, protection, and you turn me away for him?" Kagome looked up from her struggling hanyou and glared.

"All you ever offered me was hell, Kouga! You took my family, you took my life away from me! You took Inuyasha away from me!" Kouga snorted.

"For your own good, Kagome. Inuyasha was weak and deserved to die." Kouga cracked his knuckles and leapt, claws overhead. Inuyasha reached the Tetsusaiga and grabbed the sword, his red eyes shifting to gold.

"INUYASHA!" Kagome screamed. Inuyasha ripped Tetsusaiga out of the ground, the blade transforming in a flash of light, youkai energy swirling around it. Inuyasha spun with Kouga about to slice hisclaws into his head. The youki energies of the Tetsusaiga fired, and the Kaze-no-Kizu tore into Kouga's chest.

Kouga stopped suddenly in midair as the attack stopped his jump dead. The youki tore his clothes and sliced into his body, gashes appearing all over. With a cry of anguish, Kouga was flung back into the air. He landed several feet away, rolled, and slammed back against a tree, the truck cracking under the force. Kouga's skull slammed into the tree, and his head slumped forward, blood pouring from his mouth.

Inuyasha panted and took a step forward, his wounds painful and numerous. Kagome bit her lip and stepped up beside him.

"Is he…?" She asked.

"Not yet." Inuyasha muttered. He whispered in Kagome's ear before stalking to the battered wolf youkai. Kouga sputtered and coughed blood, landing on his thigh. Inuyasha slid Tetsusaiga under his chin and raised Kouga's head to stare at him. Kouga had only one eye open. The other was shut tightly, blood oozing from the lid.

"Do you regret anything at all?" Inuyasha asked. Kouga spat a clot of blood on Tetsusaiga.

"Why…should I?" He coughed. "I…only did…what was my right…she was my mate…" Inuyasha withdrew the Tetsusaiga and hefted it over his shoulder. Kouga smirked and shook his head slightly. "You can't kill me….you'll kill her…" Kouga wheezed.

"I beg to differ, Kouga. We mated. If I kill you, your mark is worth shit." Inuyasha growled. Kouga kept his smirk and snorted.

"You couldn't keep those filthy hands off her, huh? Figures." Kouga glared at Tetsusaiga warily. "You won't kill me. You wouldn't dare." Inuyasha's lips curled into a smirk to mirror Kouga's.

"You're right Kouga. I'm not going to kill you." Inuyasha said. Kouga chuckled bitterly as the hanyou stepped back to stand beside Kagome. "Kagome." The miko nodded and raised her bow, taking aim. With a glare, Kagome let her grip go, and her arrow slid into Kouga's neck.

Kouga let out a cry as his head snapped back. closed eyes snapping open to reveal a bloody lump of mutilated flesh. He reached up and futilely tried to pull the arrow out. A second arrow lodged in his wrist, the hand and lower arm purifying. Kouga screamed in pain as his arm dropped to the side. Kagome fired one final arrow, and lodged it into Kouga's chest, piercing his heart. This time, there was no cry of pain. Kouga moaned as dropped his hand to clutch the arrow, his other, purified hand laying limp beside him. Kouga gasped as blood gurgled over his lip and fell down his throat. Kouga trembled as his eyes rolled back into his head. With a final breath, Kouga's head slumped forward, his hand loosening its grip on the arrow before falling to rest on his legs. Kagome lowered her bow and sighed.

"It's over." She said.

**1: Anyone who pays attention knows that Kouga does have his own sword. He just never uses it.**

**2: Yes, Inuyasha gave Kouga an Undertaker style Choke Slam. What can I say, I like the WWE.**

**After all this, I think it was only fitting that Kagome deliver the final blow. This isn't the final chapter. There are 2 left…**


	48. Wish From the Heart

Broken Dreams

**Sing it with me now! Ding dong, the wolf is dead!**

Chapter 48

Wish From the Heart

Kouga's limp body lay bloodied and bruised against the tree a few feet away from Inuyasha and Kagome. The deep cuts on his body, raked from the Kaze-no-Kizu, dripped down his arms and formed small puddles on the ground beside him. Kouga stared lifelessly at the ground, his one eye a bloody mess and flesh and puss. Kagome took a breath and tried to maintain her composure. She couldn't. She dropped her bow and threw herself into Inuyasha's chest.

"He's gone…he's really gone…" She sobbed. Inuyasha ran a hand through her hair and nodded. "I…god…what if this is a dream? How do I know this is real?" Inuyasha stepped away and knelt down to place a kiss on Kagome's lips. He withdrew and smiled.

"That's how you know." He whispered. Kagome blushed and grew concerned.

"Turn around, let me see your back." She said. Inuyasha turned, and Kagome gasped. Inuyasha's back was a bloody mess, the flesh torn and ripped from Kouga's blows. "Your back…"

"I'll be fine." Inuyasha grunt. He walked over to Kouga and knelt down. He sliced into Kouga's legs, and removed the two Shikon-no-Kakera. He cleaned them of the wolf's blood before holding them out to Kagome. Kagome took them and reached into her blouse for the other shard. She bit her lip and slowly slid the two shards into the jewel. With a flash of light, the three shards fused together. Kagome felt her breath hitch as she stared, for the first time in five years, at the full Shikon-no-Tama.

"It's complete…after all this time, it's complete…" She whispered. Inuyasha nodded.

"So much death and pain, all because of this." He muttered, gingerly picking the jewel up between his claws. He peered at it closely. "Do you still want to bathe?" He asked, palming the jewel. Kagome nodded, confused, and slipped onto a smooth rock on the banks of the hot spring and removed her clothing. Inuyasha obediently turned around and gave the miko her privacy. He looked down at the Shikon-no-Tama for a moment before slipping it into a pocket in his hakama.

"Sit down here." Kagome said. "By the bank here." Inuyasha slowly stepped back and sat down.

"This isn't going to end like it did the last time I sat near you while you bathed, is it?" He asked coyly. Kagome had the good grace to blush as she remembered the last time they had been at this particular spring.

"Don't be a hentai, I'm just going to wash your back." Kagome scolded. Inuyasha chuckled to himself and sat down. He pulled the tattered remains of his shirt over his head and let Kagome set about her work. Kagome dipped the sleeve of her blouse into the water before rubbing it over his back gently. The white material quickly stained pink, then blood red. Inuyasha hissed as the hot water stung a bit against the heavy wounds, but let Kagome continue.

Kagome inhaled sharply as she noticed the full extent of the damage Kouga's blows had done. The various gashes and bruises would only take a day or so to heal, she knew that due to hanyou physiology. But in the meantime they all looked rather painful. Kagome dipped the blouse sleeve back in the water again, grimacing as she held it over the bank and quite literally wrung out the blood before finishing her cleaning.

"What do you think I should wish for?" Inuyasha asked suddenly. Kagome frowned as she turned to the task of washing herself.

"Well I told you what I would wish for." Kagome said softly. She reached out and gently took Inuyasha's hand, rubbing her thumb over the patch of skin where his hand once been. "I don't think you should have to spend the rest of your life like this."

"Kagome, I'm fine like this, alright?" Inuyasha muttered.

"But I'm not. You shouldn't have to live like this, Besides." Kagome reached up and ran a finger over the crescent-shaped scar where a fuzzy ear had once been. "I miss your ear." Inuyasha smirked to himself and shook his head.

"What is it with you women and the ears?" He asked. "Kagome…don't get wrong, I'd like to go back, but there's something more important at hand: the well. Don't you miss your family?" Kagome nodded.

"Yeah, but I'm used to missing them. I mean, I spent most of my time here before. I do worry about them, but given the choice, I'd choose you over them." She told him, climbing out of the spring. "What you wish for is entirely up to you though." Kagome dressed and gave Inuyasha the ok to turn around. He did so and sighed.

"Kagome…I want what's best for you…" Kagome shook her head.

"And I want what's best for you." She countered. Inuyasha looked thoughtful for a moment.

"If you could have both…you know, be with me and get your family back…would you?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Of course, silly. But I'd choose you if I had to." Inuyasha smiled and shook his head at the miko's loyalty.

"I think I know what to wish for then…" He said. Kagome nodded, curious. "I can't wish for my looks back, Kagome. You know how easily the jewel gets tainted, and if I were to make a selfish wish like that, it would probably backfire, and who knows what would happen…but I think there's a way to make you happy without that happening." Kagome nodded again.

"Okay, then what are you going to wish for?" She asked. Inuyasha smiled and patted the folds of his hakama where a small lump lay in the pocket.

"You'll find out in the morning, I promise." He said. "But if I tell you now…I just want to make sure that you don't try and change my mind. It's for the best though." Kagome sighed, the hanyou's stubbornness annoying her.

"Look…we've fought hard today, especially you. It's late, ok? Let's get some sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning." She said, yawning. Inuyasha nodded, accepting her surrender, and reached forward and wrapped her in his arms before walking from the spring and the corpse of Kouga. He sat down in front of a tree once the wolf was out of sight and lay back. Kagome snuggled up against his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his neck.

"What you wish for, you better be by my side when I wake up tomorrow." She whispered before slipping into dreamland. Inuyasha lay awake for another hour before coming to a decision. He reached into his robes and pulled the Shikon-no-Tama out. He pressed a kiss to Kagome's forehead before bringing the jewel up to his lips and whispering his wish. The pink orb glowed white as it purified, before vanishing from the world. Inuyasha sighed.

"See you in the morning, Kagome." He whispered. He rested his head back and followed his mate into sleep. The sun dipped down from the trees, casting the body of the once proud Wolf Prince into darkness. As Inuyasha and his mate slept, a large nezumi-youkai slipped into the hot clearing. She sniffed the sleeping lovers before dismissing them as too much trouble. Sniffing out Kouga, the youkai reared up and bit into Kouga's hair, pulling back as the corpse fell to the ground with a thud. With a satisfied twinkle in her eye and an eager rumble in her stomach, the nezumi-youkai pulled Kouga's corpse into the forest back to her lair. She had four pups and a mate to feed. Tonight, her family would dine well.

**Nezumi: Rat**


	49. Epilogue: Broken Dreams Restored

Epilogue

Broken Dreams

Kagome shifted and yawned against Inuyasha's shoulder. She smiled into his neck.

"Good morning." She whispered. She ran a hand through Inuyasha's hair and yawned again. She pulled her head back and gasped at the pair of shimmering golden eyes peering into hers. She reached up and ran a finger over the lightly tanned, healed face in front of her. "How…?" she whispered. Inuyasha smiled.

"After you fell asleep…I made my wish." The hanyou explained. Kagome barely registered the explanation as he reached up to clasp her hand tightly in his. His 5-fingered hand. Kagome moved her gaze up to the top of his head and felt tears in her eyes as she saw two fuzzy white ears twitch at her. "I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet." Inuyasha said, his grin growing wider. Kagome frowned and went to stand from his arms. That was when she finally realized they weren't under the tree anymore. Kagome stepped back and gaped, eyes wide.

There was a thick layer of dust everywhere. The door wasn't locked, but was closed tightly. A few specks of clean areas could be seen where objects had been moved at one time or another. Kagome struggled for words and picked up a lone picture from the dresser opposite the bed. A picture she hadn't seen in 3 years…

"My room…" Kagome whispered. Tears fell from her eyes and stained the dust covering the picture. She reached down and drew three fingers through the dust, revealing the picture of her and Inuyasha she had convinced him to sit for shortly after Sango joined them. She heard Inuyasha shuffle behind her and felt his arms wrap around her waist.

"I wanted to give you everything you wanted…" Inuyasha whispered. "I couldn't wish for myself Kagome. The jewel would have sensed it was a selfish wish and turned it back on me. But you…god, Kagome, I'd give you everything in this world if I could get it for you." Kagome listened to his words and wiped away her tears. She turned and looked up at him through watery eyes.

"Are we really back?" She asked. Inuyasha nodded, and Kagome threw her arms around him, pulling into a tight embrace. "Thank you…oh god, thank you so much." She whispered, pressing her lips to the hanyou's neck. Inuyasha smiled.

"There was one thing I wished for myself…" He said slowly. "I'm not sure if it worked though…do you wanna go check?" Kagome nodded into his shoulder and hanyou stepped back to the window. He parted the curtains, slid up the window sill and grabbed Kagome in his arms, leaping down the roof and landing in the shrine courtyard below. Kagome looked over the shrine steps at the sprawling Tokyo streets below. She turned her attention back to Inuyasha and gasped as she realized what his part in the wish had been.

She ran past him to the well house and threw open the door. Upon doing so, she dropped to her knees. Before her stood the fully intact Bone Eater's Well. Kagome stared in disbelief and rose to her feet with Inuyasha beside her.

"Does it…does it work?" She asked. Inuyasha exhaled.

"If my wish was granted the way I made it…" He whispered. Kagome turned to the hanyou and wrapped her arms around him, new tears streaming down her face.

"God, Inuyasha…thank you." She whispered. Inuyasha nodded.

"Do you want to see if the well works?" He asked. Kagome shook her head slightly.

"No…just hold me for now." She replied. Inuyasha nodded and wrapped his arms tighter around the miko before him. Kagome looked out across the shrine at the Tokyo skyline as the sun rose above the city, sending a wave of light across the streets below. The past three years of pain and hurt rose into the air and shimmered in the sun before turning to smoke, forgotten. Kagome smiled into the sunrise as her nightmare vanished, her broken dreams repairing themselves and merging into a ray of hope.

Two years of confusion, two years of being lost in the darkness of the void that was his past…all the pain crashed down around him as Inuyasha held Kagome in his arms. For two years, the same face had haunted his memories and dreams…the face of the woman before him. The woman who had freed him in more ways then one. A million pounds of weight lifted off Inuyasha's back as the warmth of the sun washed over the two lovers. Kagome sighed and lay her head on Inuyasha's shoulder.

"I love you Inuyasha…so much." Inuyasha chuckled slightly and kissed Kagome's head.

"I love you too, Kagome."


End file.
